Name: How introverts become better public speakers | Ty Hoesgen | TEDxUTD
Uploaded: 2026-03-25T21:39:03.000Z
Duration: 12 min 52 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

The comparative

When I was younger, I taught piano to underprivileged kids.

Past simple

This was a volunteer program, so lessons were done in a tiny, dusty room behind a school gym.

The imperative

Imagine a room juuust big enough to fit a piano and a small bench.

One of my students, Andrew, he was a great piano player.

He kind of looked like the kid from Home Alone: blonde hair, blue eyes, ears that stuck out a little bit.

Andrew always played well during our lessons, but

when he had to play in front of pee-pee-pee-pee-pee, he'd get extremely nervous.

by the time I'd finally get him up there to play, he'd make mistakes that he never made while practicing.

All because there were pee-pee-pee-pee-pee-pee watching.

One day after this happened, he looked at me and said, "I suck at piano.

I want to quit," and my dad said I could.

My first thought was, "I'm giving away lessons for freeee, and

I still can't keep these students." But I had to ask him, "Andrew, do you actually want to quit, or do you just hate messing up in front of pee-pee-pee-pee-pee?" He said, "I like playing, but

I don't like performing." That really resonated with me.

As an introvert, I had a lot of the same fears about performing in front of others.

The thought of being seen made me want to curl up in a ball and disappear.

But as I learned to overcome those fears and build my confidence, I started to dream about helping others do the same.

And today, as a communication coach, I often tell this story to my clients because many of them have similar struggles with speaking.

They're fine practicing on their own, but

when it's time to speak in front of a group and everyone's staring at them, they get anxious.

In fact, 75% of all people experience some level of anxiety when it comes to public speaking.

At the root of this anxiety is the pressure we put on ourselves.

We feel pressure because we're viewing public speaking as a performance.

We worry about what pee-pee-pee-pee-pee-pee are going to think of us.

When you're speaking to a group, there's a part of you that wants to look good and sound good.

You don't want to mess up and say something dumb, right?

But this pressure to be a certain way is what causes the anxiety.

And this is what holds you back from speaking at your best.

When I was first trying to figure out how to help Andrew, I asked some of my other students how they played so well in front of pee-pee-pee-pee.

One girl said, "Well, all I know is that pee-pee-pee-pee-pee-pee-pee-pee-peee are lucky to watch me play." I thought, "Okay, great level of confidence here, but

I don't know how to teach that to someone else." Another kid said, "I'm just practicing until I get to play with Michael Jackson." That was interesting.

This kid didn't seem worried at all because he didn't see what he was doing as a performance.

He thought he was just practicing until he could one day play with the King of Pop.

But I didn't have the heart to tell him that Michael Jackson had already passed away.

But I did like this idea of practice, so I decided to see if I could help Andrew see everything as practice too.

I taught him how to stay more calm and have more of a practice mindset.

I kept repeating to him, "It's just practice.

It's just practice." And eventually, after annoying him enough, he started repeating it to himself, "It's just practice.

It's just practice." Over the next few months, I noticed he was able to reframe his perspective and play much better in front of others.

Now, if you're an introvert like me, you might have also tried to avoid pee-pee-pee-pee-pee-pee-pee-pee-pee.

I tried that strategy out when I was a kid, and

it kinda worked for a bit, only because I have an older sister who's an extrovert, and

she would speak enough for the both of us.

Whenever I was asked a question, she loved to jump in and say, "Ooh, let me tell you what Ty thinks." But having your sister speak for you is not the best long-term strategy for success.

And if you struggle with public speaking as an adult, it really holds you back, both in work and in life.

It's estimated that 70% of all positions require some form of public speaking.

And about the same number of us, 73%, believe that being able to speak better in public would help our careers.

So it's not that we don't want to improve, it's that we're going about it the wrong way.

We're viewing public speaking as a performance when we should be viewing it as practice.

It's practice for you to become a better speaker.

When you think this way, the pressure instantly drops.

Because if you're just going to practice, the results don't matter as much.

What matters most is that you're showing up and you're trying to improve.

The beauty of thinking this way is that when you don't worry about performing, you get to perform without worry, which means you actually perform better.

And this applies to more than just speaking.

It's true if you're playing a sport, learning a new skill, or even dancing on stage with Michael Jackson.

So how do you stop viewing public speaking as a performance and start viewing it as practice?

Well, after about a decade of trial and error, I discovered the key.

It's what I call an identity-shifting statement.

This is a very specific phrase that you repeat daily until your brain shifts from your old perspective, speaking as a performance, to your new perspective, speaking as just practice.

My favorite identity-shifting statement is, "When I speak, it's just practice.

When I speak, it's just practice." Over time, this shifts your identity around how you view public speaking.

Now, this works really well for most people, but some people's brains love to disagree.

So if they tell themselves, "When I speak, it's just practice," their brain might say, "That's not true.

I don't believe you." If that happens, change it to an identity-shifting question instead.

Why is it just practice every time I speak?

When you ask your brain a question, it doesn't disagree with you.

And the more you ask it, the more your beliefs will shift.

Now, as this shift is taking place, there's a chance your body can still react like it's a performance.

Sweaty hands, shaky voice, shallow breathing.

So how do you make sure your body stays calm and in a practice state?

This works really well because there's a direct connection between your body language and how you feel.

Let's get those shoulders down and back and make sure your head is up, not down.

This makes you feel more confident and in control.

Use what's called the physiological sigh.

Research shows this is one of the fastest ways to calm your nervous system.

It's a deep inhale through the nose, followed by another short inhale through the nose, then a long exhale through the mouth.

Do two of those and your body will start to relax.

And if it feels good to you, you can even make the sound of a sigh on your exhale.

I'd probably skip that part if there were people around.

smiling releases some of those feel-good chemicals like dopamine and serotonin that help you reduce stress and feel more calm.

Smiling also sends positive signals to both you and your audience.

So we have three B's: body language, breath, and a big grin.

Years after I stopped teaching piano, I was in the stall of an office bathroom leaning over the toilet.

I was about to give the biggest presentation of my life, and