Now, he and I could never see eye to eye.

Hampton is 5'2" and blind.

I'll spare you the details. Suffice to say, he and I got into a petty disagreement over a measly 1 million dollars.

Now, Hampton was raised poor, so he is always counting nickels and cents like some Dickensian penny pincher even after he was a billionaire many times over.

The miserable little prick has made it clear that if I don't pay him that million dollars, he's going to come after me with all he's got.

So, I need you boys to deliver this briefcase to him at the DeVille Suites in Jackson Lake, six hours north.

Now, this is extremely important to me.

I care about this more than...

Hmm...

- Family?　- No, not family.

- Friends?　- I'm more of a "Seinfeld" guy.

- Oh, this is so hard. - Yeah.

- What is important in life? The, uh...　- The power of seduction?

- No.　- I kind of care about football because it's the only thing I can talk about with my father.

Gourmet dining?

Oh, I'll give it some more thought.

The point is...

Don't f*** this up.

Okay, but what happens if we do?

Jesus.

Combos? Really, Jake?

Don't judge me; I'm in vacation mode.

Some people cheat on their significant others while they're out of town.

I eat Combos.

I got a Lotto scratcher as well.

Well, there goes 2 dollars you'll never get back.

Wait, what? It's never coming back?

Oh, no! My 2 dollars!

Well, if you don't start thinking about these things now, you won't have any money for retirement.

How will I be able to retire now? I'm so worried! I'll have to work till long after I'm dead!

Oh, uh, no, thanks. We got it.

Oh, no problem, sir.

Have a great stay.

You've got to stay on your toes.

If you're not careful, hotels will bleed you dry.

- I was gonna tip her. - Jesus Christ, man.

The whole point of hotels is to make other people do stuff for you.

It's like being a kid before you realize your parents are human beings and you're destroying their lives.

Here are your keys, and all I need now is a credit card.

Wait, I thought the room was paid for.

Yes, the card covers you in case of incidentals.

For example, you might incidentally enjoy some of our hotel's top-shelf pornography,

or you might incidentally destroy one of our fine toilets.

We're on vacation; maybe we'll do both.

Jake, could you give him your credit card?

I drove!

You're gonna be okay, buddy.

Who's my big boy?

- I'm your big boy. - Correct.

Oh, and there's a note here for you from someone named Hampton.

I've been delayed. I will meet you tomorrow morning at 9:30 sharp in the Business Center. Hampton

Sweet.

We have the whole night to ourselves.

Hey, where's the luggage? Where's the briefcase?

I got them right here, sir.

You slick f***.

Elevator's this way, gentlemen.

I drove, so you're tipping her.