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Marie:     Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be
if you want to create a business and life you love. And this is Q&A Tuesday. Today’s
question comes from Kelly and she writes:
“Hi Marie. A local civic group I'm involved with asked me to write curriculum for a girl’s
mentorship program. I agreed because I was only going to school and working part time
and I thought I had enough time to do a great job. But since then, I was offered a great
full time job and between that, school, the internship associated with my school program,
I'm burned out. I barely see my friends and family, my waistline is steadily growing and
that damn curriculum is staring me down in the face. I don’t want to flake on a commitment
I've made and potentially harm my professional reputation, but I'm completely overwhelmed.
How do you know when to suck it up and try harder or to call it quits? Gratefully, Kelly.”
Kelly, this is an awesome question, something all of us can relate to. I don’t know anybody
who hasn’t overcommitted including myself. Now every situation is so different. I don’t
know your timeline, I don’t know your history, I don’t know a lot of facts besides what
you’ve shared, so while I can't tell you what to do, what I can do is help you make
the right decision for yourself, I can give you a script to back out gracefully if that’s
what you really want to do, and most importantly I can teach you a simple trick to stop overcommitting
in the first place.
Lets start at the top. Is backing out a habit for you? Are you always flaking on your commitments?
In other words, are you the cancel queen? You need to look inside and get real honest
with yourself. If you are always pulling this kind of thing, it’s time to stop flaking
out and just get it done. If you choose to go this route, you just have to suck it up
and make it happen; that means don’t procrastinate and no dramatization. Set yourself an amount
of time and just do it. If you need a little help with this, I've got a great article below
called How to Double your Results and Work Less. It’s an article that I actually wrote
after creating a webinar for Tony Robbins and I know it'll help you.
When those times come that you do need to back out gracefully, remember that honesty
is the best policy. I know it’s really tempting to tell those little white lies in these kind
of situations, but don’t do it. Everyone’s done that, including myself, but I have a
policy now of only telling the truth. Why? Because you can never go wrong with the truth.
People respect it and you respect yourself. Remember this and you bet your bottom dollar
it’s a tweetable:
“Honesty is the best solution for cleaning up a sticky situation.”
Most of the time I prefer to have these kind of conversations in-person or over the phone,
but email may be best so use your own judgment. Here's a little script as a guideline to get
your started.
I'm writing with a sticky situation today.
As you know, back in September, I agreed to write the curriculum for the girls’ mentorship
program. When I said yes, I fully believed I have the bandwidth to do a great job.
In October, though, I was lucky enough to get a full-time position. While this is amazing,
it also drastically changed my schedule.
It pains me to say this, but I need to step down from this commitment. The girls deserve
an incredible curriculum and I’m sorry I’m not able to deliver as I thought I would.
I apologize for causing the program an inconvenience and, likely a delay. Let me know if there
any questions I can answer, or any other way I can support the program moving ahead.
Finally, here’s how to stop getting yourself into these kind of situations in the first
place. This is one of my favorite pieces of advice of all time, especially if you're addicted
to overcommitting. You need to pack your bags and get yourself a first class ticket on the No train. If
you haven't heard of the No train, all it means is that you give yourself permission
to make no your first response to requests on your time. You can do this for a set amount
of time or you can do it forever, as long as it takes for you to break the pattern of
overcommitting. Sometimes just saying no out right isn’t really appropriate, so you can
say this: “You know what? Let me think about it and I’ll get back to you in a few days.”
Kelly, thank you so much for asking. Let us know how it goes. Now I would love to hear
from you. Have you ever struggled with whether or not to back out of something really important?
How did you make that decision and what was the outcome? For bonus points, I would love
to hear what's the silliest white lie that you’ve ever told to back out of something?
As always, the best discussions happen after the episode over at MarieForleo.com so go
there and leave a comment now.
Did you like this video? If so, subscribe to our channel and of course share it with
all of your friends. If you want even more awesome resources to create a business and
life that you love, plus some personal insights from me that I only share in email, get those
sweet buns over to MarieForleo.com and sign up for email updates.
Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special
gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time
on MarieTV.
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How To Back Out Gracefully

3148 Folder Collection
Halu Hsieh published on February 21, 2015
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