This is Norman Luboff.

Please do not watch this video, it has very bad words.

Ronnie's a very bad person.

Did I mention this is Norman Luboff?

Did you buy my album?

It's really good.

Do some good country, some really good, wholesome stuff.

So, don't watch this video if you are easily offended by Ronnie or if you like to make

comments about how Ronnie's rude.

Instead, buy my record.

It's really good,

and I'm really cool.

Hey, guess what, Norman?

So this guy's really old, he's...

This was made...

Let's see, he's got the greatest choir ever, Mr. Norman Luboff.

This is actually made...

I can't find a date.

I'll find a date on this guy.

So this guy's really old, and he doesn't want me to teach you bad things.

If you don't want to hear bad things, if you don't want to listen to bad things,

if you don't want to learn about sex,

or if you're a child and your momma and daddy don't want

you to learn about sex, please turn it off now.

Are you still with me, then?

Norman Luboff, popular in the 60s I'm presuming, probably learned his ABCs:

A is for apple, B is for...

I don't know.

I'm going to teach you a different kind of ABCs.

This is the dirty ABCs with Ronnie: "Sex With Ronnie."

If you want to see more sex with Ronnie, I got another video for you, but this one's

the ABCs of sex with Ronnie.

A is for "anus", which means "asshole", which is the part of your bum.

B is for "boner" and "chubby".

"Boner" and "chubby" means your dick is hard.

"Dickhead" has two meanings.

One, it means the top of your penis.

The other way we use "dickhead" is if someone's not nice.

You can say: "You're a dickhead."

You're basically telling the person that they're the top of a penis.

So, "erection", "boner", and "chubby" all mean the same.

"Facial" is not something your mom would get at a salon.

A "facial" is when your hard boner ejaculates or there's sperm that comes, and it goes over

somebody's face, covering the face with "jizz", which is for J. "Erection" is hard dick,

"facial" is jizz on the face.

"Glory hole" means anything that you can stick your dick in.

It could be a pie, if you've seen that movie.

H is for "hard-on", which again means boner.

I is for "it".

When you don't want to talk about it, but you want to do it, you can say:

"Do you want to do it?"

And "it" just means sex.

"Jizz" we've already been through.

"Jerk off" is something you do by yourself when you're very lonely.

K is for "knocked up", it's also a movie.

K means you got the girl pregnant or you're pregnant yourself.

A "landing strip" is the pubic hair of a girl or boy that means that it's shaved or shorn

so it's like an airplane, and your dick is landing in the landing strip.

M is for "muff" which means the hair is everywhere.

N is for "nail", but not this kind of nail.

N is a verb and it means to have sex.

"Old fashioned" is a doughnut, but it also means a hand job,

which is the same as jerk off.

"Pork", "pound", "poke", and "plow" are also verbs and they mean to have sex.

Sex with Ronnie, you getting this?

Q is for "quickie" it means do it fast.

R is for "rack", also known as boobs.

S is for "score", hah, you just scored which means you had sex.

"Tap that ass"

just means to have sex, doesn't it?

"Upskirt" is for U, you, this means that you...

The camera angle is looking up the girl's skirt without her permission.

Ladies, be careful.

V is for "vag. jj", also known as vagina.

W is for "whiskey dick", this means you've drank so much whiskey that you can no longer

get a boner, a chubby, an erection, or a hard-on.

It can be any kind of alcohol, but "whiskey dick" went with W. "XXX" means X-rated.

"Wang" means dick, it's also a last name.

So when someone's name is Wang, like Vera Wang-

[laughs]

-god, that's funny, your name is Vera Dick.

Love it.

"Yellow fever", it's kind of racist to me, but it means that a person, usually men who

really likes Asian girls or a woman who likes Asian boys.

Apparently Asian people are yellow all of a sudden, so "Asian fever" means you really

like Asian people.

"Zeppelins".

You guys know Led Zeppelin? It's a band.

"Zeppelins" means the girl has big boobs or a nice rack.

We can't forget the number "69".

You've got homework if you don't know what that is.

Check it out later.

Adios.

I've made a mistake with my wonderful rhymes.

I've told you lies about glory holes and the times.

A "glory hole" is more intense than you'd imagine.

A "glory hole" is usually in a bathroom stall where a man would stick his dick

in a hole in the wall.

Sometimes there's a mouth at the end of the hole,

sometimes there's an anus.

So the next time you're going to the toilet,

watch out for the hole.