Name: I got tested for a personality disorder
Uploaded: 2025-11-26T16:49:55.000Z
Duration: 5 min 29 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

So a few years ago, I had a big friend group falling out, and

I found out that they were basically saying I was a narcissist.

I found this out mostly because they accidentally texted a group chat.

I was still in with this accusation, and, you know.

So I figured, well, if the people who were my best friends who knew me the most were saying this about me, I owe it to them and myself to make sure I don't have an undiagnosed personality disorder.

I talked to my therapist, who I've been with for many years.

She said, no, Anna, you don't have narcissistic personality disorder.

That accusation gets thrown around a lot these days.

And I hired a psychiatrist who specializes in mood and personality disorders.

A personality or mood disorder isn't something that I can evaluate in a single session.

And I would like to work in conjunction with your therapist.

Given that you've been seeing her weekly for years, her insight is gonna be invaluable.

So I started seeing the psychiatrist, and

I'm not gonna lie, I actually started getting really excited at the idea that maybe I was a narcissist, because that's a whole new vertical of content, right?

It's a miracle that I've been on this platform for, like, 10 years and still have an audience.

But if I'm a narcissist, that is such an edgy, cool place to be.

Like, I think it really boosts the numbers.

And diagnosed narcissist talks about how they view friends.

Diagnosed narcissist talks about how they view relationships.

I started, like, outlining videos in my head.

So finally I get to the point with my psychiatrist where she says, in my estimation, you don't have npd.

I mean, like, I don't want it, but it'd be great for my career.

in my professional opinion, all the symptoms you have point to complex ptsd.

That's like saying I have clinical depression or an anxiety disorder.

I was really looking forward to being a narcissist.

Yeah, I'm being a tad silly, but, you know, there's a nugget of truth in every joke.

I think I'm mostly disappointed because, like, of course I have ptsd.

You know, the good news is this really explains my history of sleep disorders, because apparently it's linked to all that stuff like insomnia, night terrors, and

But for those of you who don't know, post traumatic stress disorder occurs in people who have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event, series of events, or a set of circumstances.

So in my case, you know, obviously it was my sister's suicide as well as some other things that happened.

But it often comes with recurring and intense thoughts and feelings related to your experience long after the traumatic event has ended in including intrusive thoughts, avoidance, distorted beliefs, et cetera.

Unfortunately, I was reading that there's no permanently recovering from ptsd.

You mostly manage the symptoms and build a life that allows your PTSD to go dormant inside of you.

And the most highly effective treatment is cognitive behavioral therapy so that you can build tools to aid you in healthy management of the disorder.

In most severe cases, like, people may need to go on medication or attempt alternative therapies.

But I think because I've been in therapy Since I was 17, my PTSD has become highly manageable for me, except in moments when I'm really, really stressed out or under duress.

But I think in addition to therapy, completely eliminating substances like alcohol or drugs have been instrumental in helping me stay out of episodes.

So I guess I can move on from that friend breakup with the peaceful knowledge that, according to a professional, I am not a narcissist.

I'm just someone who had a lot of trauma who.

Who was going through a really hard time that activated that trauma, and

the people I was with didn't fully understand.

And look, if I'm being honest, I'm glad they didn't understand because that meant they didn't have a history of death or suicide or anything similar.

Thank you to the patrons who supported today's video, and

thank you to Better Help for sponsoring today's episode.

If you believe you're suffering in any way, whether it's from a traumatic event or just, you know, life's average struggle.

It has given me the tools I need to emotionally regulate and function and build a life that I love.

Better Help's mission is to help make therapy more affordable and more accessible.

Finding a therapist can be really hard, especially when you're limited to the options in your area.

But Better Help is a platform that makes finding a therapist easier because it's online, it's remote, and

just by filling out a few a few questions, BetterHelp can match you to a professional therapist in as little as a few few days.

And look, therapy is kind of like dating, right?

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Subtitles ListPlay Video

I got tested for a personality disorder

obvious

depression

eliminate

trauma