Name: How to Defend Yourself in English
Uploaded: 2025-07-17T09:05:39.000Z
Duration: 15 min 56 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo, hi, yeah, okay, hi, James from engVid.

To-infinitive

Today I want to teach you some English for self-defense in a way, like karate, jiu-jitsu, Krav Maga.

People think it's not a martial art, but it is.

And he's wearing his black belt from doing karate.

Well, not that long ago, but I had a student, and although I had many great stories to tell about students, this one was a sad story because I really liked this student, and he was one day in the subway, and he said he noticed someone that was similar to himself, similar cultural background, trying to ask for help from one of the workers at the subway.

And that person, he could tell was being rude to them, but he didn't know what to say, he didn't have the words, because unfortunately, in his English classes, we were teaching him verbs, nouns, adjectives, adverbs, how to use them in proper speech and context, and nobody taught him the skills that he would naturally have in his own language, and that we naturally have, we all have when you speak the language.

And I'm going to use a common word, like a comeback, but really it's a...

It's a phrase or a sentence to let someone know that just because I'm learning the language doesn't mean I'm ignorant, I mean, I don't know.

I don't know you're being rude to me and you're being disrespectful, and I don't like it.

So this lesson is to teach five ways that you can engage with people to let them know, hey, I may not be, you know, perfect in your language, but I understand you're being disrespectful or you're not being intelligent at this point in time, and I want to let you know.

The best thing about it is if your language skills in English are a little bit weak and you say something like this, they're going to be so shocked that I doubt most of them will want to do anything disrespectful to you in the future, because they'll be afraid of what might come out of your mouth next.

Now, if you're ready for that, let's go to the board.

We've got Mr. E going to hiya, and the first one is about respect.

So what I want to do here, oops, is I want to put a point down, because we want to talk about boundaries and kindness, okay?

So what I'm doing with this one, I'm going to say something like, I'm going to say, I'm not used to being talked to in that way.

I don't like being spoken to in a disrespectful way, but I do feel that whatever's happening is making you upset or sad, and I'd like to talk about it.

The first one is I don't like being spoke to in disrespect, which means I will end this conversation if you continue this way.

I'm saying don't talk to me this way, that is a boundary.

You talk to me this way, the conversation's over.

But there is an element of kindness because I'm respecting the fact that you're human and you're upset about something, and I want to work with you to make you feel better.

So even though I'm saying this is a boundary, I'm saying as long as you respect my boundary and don't speak to me in that way, I will help you or try to help you feel better or try and make this work.

So it talks about respect, respect for the other person and respect for yourself.

You're asking them to respect you, and you will respect them and help resolve the problem or situation.

And this is, you know, can be used almost any time, and it should be the first line of defense, talking about respect for each other, right?

Because we want to have good communication, and that happens when we respect the fact that the other person you're speaking to is human like you.

Number two is about humor, and I'll show you why.

Now, humor in Canada is spelt this way, before I hear anybody say, oh, you put a U, I'm like, eh, I'm in Canada.

United States, they don't have the extra U, but that's humor.

So you might say something like, well, that was unexpected.

Because I want to show them I'm unaffected.

See, if you can laugh at a situation when someone's trying to be rude to you, and you're like, oh, that was unexpected.

I'm glad you're here to keep things interesting.

It's like, I heard what you said, but it doesn't really bother me or do anything to me, so what?

That is disarming, because if someone's trying to be rude to you to make you feel bad, and you're laughing, going, okay, well, that was cool, whatever, I guess you're a bit of a joker, that disarms them, because they're like, you're not hurt.

See, I'm very confident, so I don't take that seriously.

That means make them not as aggressive towards you, and no one wants that.

That's the key for them being disrespectful, and you're taking that away by saying, okay, whatever, didn't affect me.

So this is the first one where we're moving from being kindness, and we're maybe not being kind anymore, but we're saying you didn't bother me by that comment.

When something goes like this, we call it an escalation.

So you might have noticed here's kindness, no kindness, but humor, but now I'm going to talk about responsibility.

Sometimes when people are being rude, they're trying to put responsibility or blame on you, because they don't want to take blame for something.

So like, I didn't do it, your fault, it was your responsibility, blah, blah, blah, and they can be very rude.

In fact, I know a situation that happened recently with someone I work with, someone came to them and said, don't tell people that I did this, I'm not responsible, when they actually did it, and the other person was like, back up, don't try and get me in trouble for what you have done.

So here's what you can say to somebody who's trying to make you responsible, or trying to blame you, or trying to blame you for something that they actually have done.

You can say something like this, okay, don't try and make me responsible for X, Y, and  X, Y, and Z means whatever they're saying.

I'm as responsible as your parents were irresponsible for having you.

You're kind of slapping them, and their parents, and their grandparents in the face for having such an idiot.

Don't let people make you responsible for their faults or mistakes.

You can admit what you've done, but don't take the blame for others, because what happens after a while is they start trying to make you what we call the fall guy, make you look stupid all the time so they can escape their own bad decisions and lack of responsibility.

So that's not a nice one, and you might get, what we say, a little pushback, people might not be happy with that, but you know what?

If they're being that rude, they kind of deserve it.

I like this one, I really do, but it's mean.

My dad, and I hope he's watching, love my dad, said something when I was a kid I never liked it, but when I grew older, I find myself saying it.

I hear my dad saying, you not listen, you feel.

So some of you who aren't West Indian won't understand what that means, so I'll explain it.

If someone is doing something silly and they look at you, you can say...

So for some of you now, you're going, that's two things you said, Darwin Award and you not listen, you feel.

Well, there is this award that is given out every year for the dumbest way to die and leave life.

So you've left humanity and you've died in a stupid way.

It's called the Darwin Award because people are happy to give it because you're no longer in the evolutionary pool, so you're no longer in humanity, so you will not reproduce.

So if you get a Darwin Award, it means you're dead for doing something stupid.

So when I say I'm looking at the next Darwin Award, I'm trying to tell you what you're doing is so stupid, you're probably going to get hurt from this.

Well, my father would say, you not listen, you feel.

If you don't listen, you will feel the consequence.

So, most people wouldn't understand you not listen, you feel.

Subtitles ListPlay Video

How to Defend Yourself in English

introvert

opportunity

situation

conversation