Name: 6 Flirting Mistakes That Keep You Single
Uploaded: 2025-05-27T13:48:06.000Z
Duration: 4 min 34 s
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Well, according to the Social Issues Research Centre, anthropological research shows that flirting is a universal and essential part of human interaction.

But if it is instinctive to all of us on some level, then why do we sometimes get it wrong?

If you clicked on this video looking for a guide to help you flirt better, you're not alone.

Because like many other social norms, much of the do's and don'ts of flirting are dictated by unwritten laws of etiquette that we generally obey without even realizing it, says the Social Issues Research Centre.

With that said, here are six common psychology backed flirting mistakes that may be keeping you single.

According to psychology professor Dr. Aaron Ben-Zeév, although playing hard to get is a common flirting tactic a lot of people swear by, it can actually hurt more than help your romantic chances.

By pretending we're not interested in someone, it creates insecurity and uncertainty early on in the relationship, which can lead to more deception and emotional manipulation.

Playing such superficial games may also attract the wrong kind of person, says Dr. Ben-Zeév.

Another common flirting mistake, especially among women, is never making the first move.

You may think that all the subtle signs you're giving, like making prolonged eye contact, smiling and casually touching them, or liking their posts online, is enough for them to take the hint.

But it also leaves a lot of room for miscommunication.

If you want to date someone, says dating expert and self-help author John Burger, it's better to make the first move.

Instead of just waiting around for them, because it's a way of taking control of your relationships and being more intentional about the partners you choose.

According to Dr. James Wadley, psychologist and chair of the Counseling and Human Services department at Lincoln University,

bringing your pent up frustrations with you on a date or while flirting with someone is a big no-no.

Because although it might seem like a natural and easy conversation starter, showing too much of a disagreeable attitude early on in a potential relationship is a turn off for a lot of people.

So when you're flirting, Dr. Wadley suggests, it's best to keep things light-hearted and positive for now.

Similar to our earlier point, don't make the mistake of thinking it's okay to talk too much about why you're single, or worse, how much you hate it.

Seeing singlehood as a problem, says psychologist Dr. Karin Anderson, can paint us in a bad light, both to ourselves and others.

We may start to see and present ourselves as being too picky or too needy, and that there's something undesirable about us as a partner, and that we can't see our own self-worth without one.

According to relationship and well-being psychologist Dr. Amie M. Gordon,

we need to be careful of having high expectations of potential partners.

Because while having high expectations can be good, like when it increases commitment and helps us behave more positively towards one another,

it can easily turn bad if we over-romanticize our perfect type, having unrealistically high standards can make us miss out on someone great, because it only sets them up for failure.

Last but not least, hiding how you really feel is perhaps the biggest flirting mistake that's keeping you single.

Because although it might seem terrifying to confess your true feelings to someone, never letting them in or showing them your true feelings will only discourage them from pursuing you and getting to know the real you.

According to a Healthline article reviewed by therapist Dr. Jennifer Litner, by hiding your emotions, you prevent clear communication with the people in your life, and that's not something you want to make a habit of when starting a relationship with someone.

So, can you relate to any of the things we've mentioned here?

Did this list make you realize some of the flirting mistakes that are keeping you single?

Even if the answer is yes, don't worry, flirting doesn't come easily to everyone and it's not a skill that's ever explicitly taught to us.

So it's understandable to make mistakes sometimes, what matters most is that you become aware of your missteps and all the other ways you may be unconsciously holding yourself back from finding love.

What are some other common flirting mistakes we've missed?

Let us know in the comments down below, till next time, psych to goers, thanks for watching.