- She's a big flirt, so... - She is. Yeah.

Have you ever wondered why we flirt?

If we find ourselves in a relationship, we will assiduously practice the arts of what psychologists call distance management. When the chance of reaching a truly happy state appears, we'll subtly discover ways to introduce a chasm. We'll have an argument, spoil a birthday, ruin a holiday. We'll find we have to do a lot of work for an upcoming exam or presentation, that our gang of friends needs us to be somewhere else, that we forgot to return the credit card or tax bill, that our appearance requires a lot of our attention or that we like to flirt with a stranger at a party who suddenly seems very attractive indeed. In both tiny and large ways, we'll know just how to lower the mood, scupper a bond and destroy trust. Perhaps not enough to end a relationship completely, but certainly enough to worry our partner sufficiently as to our solidity that we can be privately sure things will never truly fly. Friends may commiserate with us on our so-called bad luck. Psychologists will note our superlative skill at romantic sabotage. With this to sound a bit like us, compassion is required. We should reflect back on our pasts and wonder at the connection between our fractured bonds with parental figures and our disrupted adult attachments. We aren't like this because we're wicked, we've just been very badly hurt. Once we understand how our skill at independence was acquired, we'll be in a better position to see that it has in reality outlived its rationale. We may still feel immensely apprehensive at the prospect of contentment, but we may finally be able to admit that we are, first and foremost, acting out of fear. Rather than dismissing our partners, we may stick closer to a much more awkward truth – that we're tempted to draw away from them because we're immensely scared that they might finally be in a position to make us very happy – and that simply nothing so unutterably and boundlessly frightening has ever happened to us before.

We can touch her and flirt with her.

You know, they flirt, make you feel good, make you feel like you got more money than you do.

But rather than confront them, they try to mess with them by having Phoebe flirt with Chandler.

and we even flirt with energy

I didn't know what to say, how to say it. I didn't understand how to flirt, or even what flirting was.

It may sound ungenerous to throw the emphasis on the negative, but we can fairly say that people who are good at love know, first and foremost, who not to fall in love with. While they may have all sorts of friends and a wide sympathy for the vagaries of being human, when it comes to who they opt to tie themselves to, this is some of what they will avoid with determination. People who have no sense of how difficult they are to live with. People with a heightened belief in their infallibility. People who will, when something is pointed out to them, quickly choose the occasion to simultaneously inform you that it's not as though you're perfect either. People who will label any criticism of them, however sensitively delivered, as rude or offensive and contrary to the rules of true love as they define these. People who deliberately drive you to the edge of frustration, then turn and say, why are you getting cross so suddenly? People who smile and say, I get it completely now, I'm going to change, and then go and do whatever it was all over again a few days later. People who combine an exquisite talent for upset with an even greater talent for sentimental apology. People who will flirt with others, then call it only a bit of fun and label you a prude for minding. People who will mess up your house and call you anal. People who will prioritise time with their friends over time with you and then call you controlling. People who tell you you're imagining things a lot. People who harbour a background grudge against your gender. People who are furious with a parent and don't realise they are. People who can't forgive anyone who thinks better of them than they think of themselves. People who claim desperately to want a relationship but are inwardly so committed to distrust, isolation and self-hatred that they aren't in any position really to have one and yet don't know this of themselves. People who principally associate love with the pleasant feelings they register when you are nice to them. People who don't take your love as a substantial gift you choose to bestow every day and could take elsewhere.

Do you want to know how to flirt with a girl that will actually get her interested in you?