Name: Jo Firestone Stand-Up
Uploaded: 2020-03-13T01:30:19.000Z
Duration: 5 min 10 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

-Wow. Thank you. That's -- That's very --

To-infinitive

Well, I was walking down the street the other day --

Okay, so, if you're a 33-year-old white woman,

I was doing some window shopping, and I was, like,

I was like, "That's cute. That's cute. That's cute."

Every time I even hear the words "Ann Taylor,"

I just hear my mom go, "They got a petite section."

I just know it's a portal to menopause, you know?

But I'm trying -- I'm trying to stay young, you know?

I'm trying to stay young. I'm going to parties.

Like, I went to a party the other night, and I just kind of

was talking to the same three people the whole night.

I thought, "This is great. We don't need anybody else."

And then this woman comes up to us, and she goes,

"I don't need to wait for the others to answer.

And then everyone else in the circle said, "Six."

And that's just a lesson for you as an adult.

If you're at a party and you're having a nine,

That's just the Ann Taylor brand for you.

I got a dog recently. And when you get --

A lot of people, when they get a dog, they say,

And it turns out I got a dumb and bad one.

He ripped my dad's pants off. Uh, he's terrible.

So we took him to this trainer, and the trainer was like,

You got to be walking him for three hours a day,

Essentially we're turning this dog into John Cena.

to make a bad dog stronger, but that's --

But I -- So I got -- It was hard to even get the dog

He didn't want the dog to be too big, too small.

He wanted it to be brown. He wanted ears to go like that.

And he didn't want to be able to feel the bones.

I mean, we obviously -- You know, we live together.

Has anyone moved in with someone they wanted to love?

It's -- Things change when you live with somebody.

You know, like, the other day, he goes --

He goes, "Babe, come in here. I'm a genius."

because, you know, obviously my baby's a genius.

And I want this to work, so I say to him, I say,

"Well, sweetie, you -- you just made the thickest snack.

But I've been -- You know, I've working on the relationship.

You know, just trying to connect with people more.

It's hard -- It's hard to connect for me.

Like, I don't know if you guys have noticed this,

but I haven't looked at any one of you in the eyes.

But I'm trying. You know, I am really trying, you know.

with the neighborhood kids that's been really great.

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Jo Firestone Stand-Up

essentially

insane

audience

applause