(man singing indistinctly)

Fuck, he sucks. (laughter)

You know, uh-- Speaking of...

- Dude, you can't do that to me 'cause I'm sick,

so it was either snot or coffee.

♪♪

- This is "Bonfire." - Yeah.

- And-- and we got the camera crew with us.

- Yay! - You're one day--

You and Christine, one day into October.

October no smoking? - That's right, we are.

Well, we're into our one day, yeah.

- Yeah, this is the first day of not smoking cigarettes.

- Not wigging out-- I thought I'd be wigging out more by now.

- Usually comes within a week. - The wig out?

- Yeah, when does your wig outs usually happen.

Mine happen about six days-- - Day one.

- Really? - Yeah, the wig out?

- Mine is where I-- mine is where I forget that I've quit,

and I go to smoke and I realize that I can't smoke.

That was like my first week.

There was a couple of times I went to go grab a cigarette,

and I was like, "Oh, fuck, I don't smoke anymore."

- Yeah, well, I mean, I hold this like a crutch all day long.

- The vape. - Yeah.

- You got the blu. - Yeah, just a little...

- Which even Stephen Dorff turned on.

- Yeah, he hates it.

- He's back to smoking cigarettes.

- He's back to the butts.

- Was he on Stern saying that he smoked cigarettes.

- He was on STR show. - It was STR, yeah, yeah.

At gas--

- Me and the Dorff kicked it all night.

- Dude, he was the first fucking villain in "Blade."

- Yeah. - You said it, honey.

- Yeah! There! We got Mom-Mom drops!

- Mom-Mom drops already? - I know you very well.

- Yes! - Yeah.

Dude, you're fly, now you've got some wind behind your wings.

- Hell, yeah. Shan Tov, everybody.

- Yeah, Happy New Year. Happy New Year, Shanah Tovah.

- To Lynn and Hard Corey,

the newlywed nuptialed Hard Corey.

- And Jacob. - Jacob.

How is married life treating you, Corey?

Sex is already down, right? Ain't happening at all.

- We don't talk. We sleep in different rooms.

- Right, all she wants is busting your balls.

You just wanna ball with your boys.

- Yeah, you just wanna go to your garage,

have a old one after a hard day at work.

- It's pretty much the same, I gotta admit, but--

- She's always done those things?

- In a way, I think it's better, because there was something

that we would've gotten in a fight about

that came up like five days after we got married,

and I think we both just looked at each other and said,

"You know, there's no reason to fight,

we're stuck together," and then it just kind of defused.

- He showed her the ring and he went, "This is for life."

- "I will kill you before I..." - "Mine or yours."

Yeah, "I will put you in a foggy marsh

unless you agree with every single one of us."

- "I'll film the whole goddamn thing."

- Dude, what is that was the arc for "The Bonfire"?

Corey ended up murdering his wife and then we were just

suspect-- we were character witnesses,

and this is just a huge trial where Jacob--

- So, guys, we're gonna run a Lost Tapes tomorrow

because we got grand jury turns out.

- I mean, sorry, guys, we're doing a "best of" all week.

Turns out Corey hacked his wife to death

and we gotta go testify against it.

- I gotta give a deposition. There's a whole thing.

- Apparently there was a thing going on with Christine

and Corey, and we didn't know... - Media blackout.

- I don't know, man. We are not allowed

by the State of New York to talk about anything...

- We're in a media fucking blackout.

- Yeah, it's the People of New York versus Hard Corey.

(laughter) - He just snapped.

Hard Corey couldn't take it no morey.

- He goes, "Do you want me to tell you what happened?

Yeah, I killed the bitch with headphones."

- "Eh, so what?" - "I fuckin' murdered her."

- "She was never gonna let me leave.

She was never gonna let me leave."

- "I had to get married. I was fuckin' trapped.

I was fuckin' trapped."

He goes, "I couldn't go back to the world of film and porn.

"My love. I love putting skin on film."

- You gonna for a kid, Cor, or are you so ashamed

of your pornographic past that you don't feel

you should bring a child into the world?"

- I understand that.

But through dark comes light, Corey.

- I had to explain to her what a maingel was.

- Really? - Because you guys got me

that cake that said "Congratulations on finding

your maingel." I showed her the photo.

She said, "What the hell's a maingel?"

- That's-- - You explain it to her?

- I had to admit I didn't really know.

- So funny, you go, "Well, do you remember

the movie 'The Goonies'?" - Come on, do you not know?

- Well, I know now. Lynn had to explain to me,

what a maingel is. - How did Lynn--

Lynn, how did you explain what a maingel was to Corey?

Did you go-- - They're in my program.

- Yeah! She goes, "Now there's things called boys and girls,

"and boys like girls, and girls don't like boys

unless they have a lot of nitrous and a house."

How did you explain it?

- When a man and woman love each other,

and one of those men-- and that man is Corey Feldman...

- Yes. - He picks a bunch of angels...

- Yes. - ...but then he picks one angel

to be his maingel. - And he marries that one.

- And that's his maingel. - I believe the proper

nomenclature in the streets is "bottom bitch."

- Yes. - Yeah.

- So we're, sure, Lynn can continue to wear lingerie

and wings and walk around your house...

- Absolutely. - But your wife is your maingel.

That's just eye candy. - Listen, we're all--

- Lynn just eye candy for you guys.

- I'm not saying it's out of the realm

that you can't have nitrous oxide suck-off parties...

- Not at all, absolutely. - With people dressed

as angels and other reporters that aren't having fun.

However... - That said...

- Your wife is your maingel. - When it comes down to

go out to Olive Garden, only one's going with you,

and that's the maingel.

- Also, if you choose to cover "Blackbird"

at a bar, you have to play with your maingel.

- Yes, just make sure you bring Lynn home some, like,

you know, it's unlimited breadsticks and salad,

so bring her home some. - Buy one get one free dinner.

- Yeah, bring one home for Lynn.

And then the maingel gets the other one.

- So weird that you read comics. It's such an odd thing.

- Yeah, I mean, I read certain comics.

I like certain-- I like Batman.

I like anything Garth Ennis does.

- Still currently? - Yeah, I read comics.

I love it. - Where?

- Sometimes I'll go to Midtown-- I'll go to Midtown Comics

if I'm just in the area. - And buy some comics?

- Just ask what's going on. I was supposed--

I started to read "The Manhattan Project,"

but then, you know, I kind of bailed after like half a book.

But I'll get into it. I'll like it.

- Yeah? - Yeah, I'll get into comics.

If they're like cool, like "The Boys" that's out on Amazon.

- Where do you have 'em? - Uh, what do you mean?

- I've been to your house.

I didn't see your comic collection.

- Yeah, look in my bottom oh my library--

or my bookcase when you come-- - Is it really comic books?

- Yeah, there's a ton of comic books.

- That's so crazy. I didn't notice that at all.

- Yeah, if you look-- I mean, in fact,

I'm gonna let Jacob borrow-- 'cause he started

reading "The Boys," and I have the whole set,

and I was gonna give him the ones he hasn't read yet.

- You guys are trading comic books?

You think that's less gay than sharing hearts?

- Yep.

Yep, I'll still stand by it. - Stand by it?

- I stand by it. It's still less gay