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  • -I was running a bit behind today, so I thought

  • if you guys wouldn't mind, I'd like to write out

  • my weekly thank-you notes right now. Is that okay with you guys?

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • The best.

  • The best a man can get

  • James, can I get some thank-you- note-writing music, please?

  • Oh, he's just amazing. Look at that.

  • The purple Prince is what they call him.

  • -Really? -The purple Prince.

  • -Purple Prince. -That's what they call him.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Thank you, Lent,

  • or as you're also known, New Year's Resolution: The Sequel.

  • [ Applause ]

  • "I'll try it again.

  • I'll try it again. And this time,

  • I'm really gonna give it up."

  • ♪♪

  • Thank you, "Bachelor" fantasy suite invites,

  • for being a fancy TV version of texting, "You up?"

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

  • ♪♪

  • Thank you, the CDC, for saying that surgical masks

  • are pointless for people with big beards.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Or as ZZ Top put it, "Oh, we dead."

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

  • Thank you, new movie "The Invisible Man,"

  • for starring Elisabeth Moss.

  • And since you can't see him

  • so there's no way to prove this isn't the case,

  • for also starring me, Jimmy Fallon.

  • -Wow. Wow. [ Cheers and applause ]

  • -Number-one movie of the week.

  • -Congratulations.

  • -Thank you. You saw me at the premiere?

  • -Yeah, it was fantastic.

  • Your invisible costume was beautiful.

  • -Thank you so much.

  • Thank you, South Carolina state flag, for looking like

  • a tiny square cut out of some guy's Tommy Bahama shirt.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • [ Applause ]

  • I wrote that. -Yeah.

  • -I wrote that one.

  • I love Tommy Bahama. -Come on, you love it.

  • -I'm a Bahama mama, dude.

  • ♪♪

  • Thank you, when the doctor tells me to say "ah,"

  • for making me feel like I'm auditioning for a doo-wop group.

  • -[ Harmonizing ] -[ Harmonizing ]

  • -Cough. -Cough.

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

  • -Thank you, Super Tuesday, for being the third-best Tuesday

  • after Fat and Taco.

  • There you have it. Those are my thank-you notes.

-I was running a bit behind today, so I thought

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Thank You Notes: South Carolina State Flag, Super Tuesday

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/03/08
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