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  • 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 Happy New Year.

  • My resolution was to win a Carol Burnett Award, and I did it.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • 00:00:11,110 --> 00:00:13,930 In the first week, I got my resolution all settled.

  • So I'm a tiny bit tired today, I got to tell you.

  • I know it's Tuesday for you guys.

  • But on Sunday night, I not only went to the Golden Globes,

  • but I went out afterwards.

  • And I don't go to parties, usually, at all.

  • But it's a big night, and there were a lot of parties,

  • and so I went to not one, but two parties.

  • And oh boy-- guess how late I stayed out.

  • I just want you to guess.

  • How late do you think I stayed up?

  • [CHATTER]

  • OK.

  • All right.

  • So The Globes started at 5.

  • It's a three-hour show, goes to 8.

  • Then you have to, like, travel to the parties and all that.

  • Keep that in mind.

  • I was at home in bed by 10:30.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • [LAUGHS] Yeah.

  • This was tiring, I'll tell you that.

  • This was really tir--

  • as a matter of--

  • I'm going to sit down.

  • Usually I stand up, but I'm going to sit down right now.

  • I'm--

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:14,730 Oh, thank you.

  • It's-- sorry.

  • I can't stand up anymore.

  • I'm tired.

  • It was a fun night.

  • My friend Kate McKinnon presented the award to me.

  • She is so incredible.

  • I love her so very much.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:36,700 If you did not see her speech before she

  • presented me the award--

  • and I barely remember it, so let's all watch it together.

  • The Carol Burnett Award is given to someone

  • who, like its namesake, Carol Burnett,

  • has given us decades of laughter,

  • tears, and a new sense of what's possible.

  • So I would like to read a list of things

  • that tonight's recipient, Ellen DeGeneres,

  • has personally given me.

  • And some of these are spiritual, and some of them

  • are pieces of clothing I got to keep after doing impressions

  • of her on her talk show.

  • 00:02:12,270 --> 00:02:14,970 A roadmap for a way to be funny that

  • is grounded in an expression of joy, two pairs of Stan Smith

  • sneakers--

  • that's one of the clothes ones--

  • a desire to bring everyone together

  • by laughing about the things that we have in common, my best

  • collared shirts, a sense of self.

  • I have to explain that one more.

  • In 1997, when Ellen's sitcom was at the height

  • of its popularity, I was in my mother's basement,

  • lifting weights in front of the mirror and thinking, am I gay?

  • 00:02:53,230 --> 00:02:56,851 And I was.

  • And I still am.

  • And--

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • Thank you.

  • But that's a very scary thing to suddenly know about yourself.

  • It's sort of like doing 23andMe and discovering

  • that you have alien DNA.

  • And the only thing that made it less scary

  • was seeing Ellen on TV.

  • She risked her entire life and her entire career

  • in order to tell the truth.

  • And she suffered greatly for it.

  • Of course, attitudes change, but only

  • because brave people like Ellen jump into the fire

  • to make them change.

  • And if I hadn't seen her on TV, I would have thought,

  • I could never be on TV.

  • They don't let LGBTQ people on TV.

  • And more than that, I would have gone

  • on thinking that I was an alien, and that I maybe didn't even

  • have a right to be here.

  • So thank you, Ellen, for giving me a shot--

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • 00:03:59,170 --> 00:04:01,559 --a shot at a good life.

  • And thank you, also, for the sweater with the picture

  • of the baby goat on it.

  • [LAUGHS]

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • 00:04:13,575 --> 00:04:16,360 Ah, she's just the best.

  • Kate is here today.

  • We're going to talk to her a little later.

  • And in case you did not see my speech--

  • I feel like it's weird to show it again.

  • But some people, if you didn't see it,

  • this is my acceptance speech.

  • Before I say anything, Australia, I love you.

  • My heart goes out to everyone who

  • is suffering in Australia, all the animals that we've lost.

  • Kate, you're incredible, and thank you so much.

  • I know how hard--

  • I hate being asked to do things like this.

  • So thank you for doing this.

  • Thank you for flying here.

  • Thank you for writing something.

  • Thank you for the amazing--

  • the words that you said.

  • Thank you so much.

  • I love you.

  • I love it.

  • 00:04:55,430 --> 00:04:57,820 Thank you so much to the Hollywood Foreign Press.

  • I feel humbled and honored to receive this.

  • The first person after Carol Burnett is quite an honor,

  • so thank you so much.

  • It's a prestigious award, and what I like most about

  • it is that I knew coming in I would win, because--

  • [EXHALES] I mean, there's nothing worse

  • than sitting there, like most of you,

  • waiting and wondering if you're going to win,

  • and politely acting like, oh, I'm

  • going to listen to everybody's speeches, like it's nice.

  • And it's not.

  • Because people just go on and on and on and on and on and on

  • and on and on, and you're like, I'm not going to do that.

  • I'm going to be quick.

  • Although I don't have to, because it's a special award,

  • and they don't play me off.

  • I mean, I don't have to end at all,

  • because it's a special award.

  • But they said they were going to give me a sign at 25 minutes.

  • But that's for my reference, just to see where I was.

  • But I could go on.

  • I'm not.

  • I'm going to keep it quick.

  • I was born in New Orleans in 1958, January 26th.

  • Dr. Swanson delivered me at 8:43 in the morning, a rainy,

  • rainy--

  • and not-- I mean, Louisiana, a heavy rain.

  • My parents drove me home in a Buick.

  • I think it was a Buick.

  • It could have been a Ford or a Chrysler or a--

  • it was a Bu--

  • I think it was a Buick.

  • The point is, they brought me home in a car.

  • And before I knew it, I had a successful sitcom,

  • and I came out.

  • And then I lost that sitcom.

  • And then I got another sitcom, and I lost that sitcom, too.

  • And then I got to do something that I'd never

  • been able to do before, and that is make my own whiskey.

  • And after that I got a talk show,

  • and I was able to be myself.

  • And that was 17 years ago.

  • And I feel like you've all really

  • gotten to know me over the past 17 years.

  • I am an open book.

  • And I couldn't have done it without my husband Mark.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Mark, you are my rock.

  • 00:07:09,790 --> 00:07:12,820 Thank you for supporting me through this crazy journey.

  • 00:07:15,430 --> 00:07:17,190 I know it wasn't easy for you or the kids.

  • Rupert and Fiona, go to bed.

  • I love you.

  • That's funny, because they're in college now, but--

  • 00:07:31,030 --> 00:07:32,409 The point is, you all know me.

  • And obviously you know me, or else you

  • wouldn't have laughed at all that.

  • I feel like we all think we know someone.

  • There's a connection when we watch someone on TV

  • for as long as we are on TV.

  • And that's what it was like for me with Carol Burnett.

  • I felt like I knew her.

  • I felt like she showed us who she was every week.

  • She was larger than life.

  • She was--

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:03,120 We counted on her to make us feel good,

  • and she delivered, every single week.

  • She never let us down.

  • She was hilarious in all the sketches that she did.

  • And when she did the Q&A with the audience,

  • she was just genuine and personal,

  • and I always felt like she was speaking to me.

  • When, at the end of the show-- every time she pulled her ear,

  • I knew she was saying, it's OK.

  • I'm gay, too.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Thank you.

  • 00:08:31,530 --> 00:08:38,520 Television inspired and influenced everything

  • that I am today--

  • Lucille Ball, Mary Tyler Moore, Marlo Thomas, Dick Van Dyke,

  • Bob Newhart, Mannix.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • There's a little bit of all of them in me.

  • That didn't sound right.

  • But you know what I'm saying.

  • All I've ever wanted to do is make people feel good

  • and laugh, and there is no greater feeling

  • than when someone tells me that I've made their day better

  • with my show, or that I've helped

  • them get through a sickness or a hard time in their lives.

  • But the real power of television for me

  • is not that people watch my show, but people watch my show

  • and then they're inspired to go out and do the same thing

  • in their own lives.

  • They make people laugh, or be kind, or help someone that's

  • less fortunate than themselves.

  • And that is the power of television,

  • and I'm so, so grateful to be a part of it.

  • Thank you so much, everybody.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • 00:09:36,300 --> 00:09:38,328 What a night it was.

  • You're in for a great show right now.

  • Give it up for tWitch, everybody.

00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 Happy New Year.

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