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Welcome back to Minecraft part 4, gaming week. I was mining my house
Okay
I was building this thing and I'm placing a stairs and I see this guy
Who is that? What the frick are you?
Go away! Hello?
Get off my property, I have a gun. Maybe he's a friend. I don't want to be racist
Hello? He killed a fish!
Hello? Hello, I'm talking to you. Oh jeez you're creepy. Oh God.
(9 year olds): "Minecraft isn't scary, Felix". (*Clears Throat*) Okay.
Dude, we can be friends. Hey you want melon?
Do you like this?
Oh, look at this he like it. What are you doing with that block? Hey, hey put that block down! Put that block that do-
Goddammit! Put it down. Put it down. Put it down! Put it down!
Where are you going?
My god, there's endermens everywhere. I have to kill them. All right, do I kill endermen?
He just farted!
(Screams of terror)
I'M SORRY
The melon! Hey, melon, take it!
Aah! Jesus!
What the frick dude, that was so scary!
You better not steal my stuff dude.
We're cool.
It's all good. Just like nothing happened. All right, you just all right. I'll stick to what I'm doing
You stick to what you're doing and no more melon from now on
The audacity of some people. Okay. So basically I built this indoor pool.
It's pretty sweet. It lit (lights) up at dark
And uh, I'm like building the house. Just making it nice
Making it cool. It's gonna like, you know, be a thing. It's gonna I'm gonna live here
actually, there's one thing I been wanting to do cuz when when I started playing Minecraft
The the bed was automatically red. That's how I remember Minecraft, but now they have dye and stuff
so I think if I do this
and this
WOW
It's a red bed! Now I feel at home. Now I can sleep at night. There it is. That's what I remember
Oh, that takes me back. You wake up to burning zombies. That's what I like
That's what I like to see. I haven't finished this because I want to fish
So we I want to have I want to have actual fishes in my house
I want like the stars and this night and everything to be epic.
No! I only have one string god damnit what drops strings? Do spiders drop strings?
I'm sorry. Mr. Spider you have to die
Yes! ha ha
Oh also, by the way- oh, yeah don't jump on the crops. Everyone lost their mind last episode.
I am learning as I'm going, okay?
No, I'm not a Minecraft veteran,
YET
We're going for the ender dragon snaggin
uh, what was I doing? I already forgot.
Yes, a fishing rod. That's what we're doing
I know how to make it in by hand
But just so you guys learn I'm making a fishing rod. Then of course, we need a boat, right? a boat.
Boat time!
Boat time!!
Sorry Jörgen, You can't come with me. Why's the grass not growing?
All right, doesn't matter. It's boat time
oOOhh HOH HOH
OOOooOOOHOHO
Damn, I'm fast!
Oh Yeah!! OOOh, yeah!!
That's what I'm talki- dude, that's a fish right there. That's a fish RIGHT there.
Here we go. Bros. Here we go
ooo Come on, come on, grab it. Come on grab it
Come on you want it. Do I need a bait on the fish?
Don't laugh at me, Jörgen. I'm trying here.
Do I need a bait for it? I probably need a bait for it. Could I actually just capture him with my bucket?
This is how we fish in Sweden, with buckets
Come here, come here, come here, come here, come here
Come here, come here
come here come here come here come here-
oOOh OOOOh I GOT A BUCKET OF FISH IT WO- (laughs)
Tactical fishing!!! haters said it wasn't possible
But I got a bucket of fish. now you go in there. oh my god, I got a bucket of fi-
(gibberish) we gotta get him a friend, we gotta get him a friend, bros
Technically you're supposed to row a boat backwards
So this game isn't that historically accurate after all? Okay. All right, we're going scuba diving
Can you make scuba diving equipment in this- what the hell just happened?
gottem
gottem
God it's scary down there. No, I'm not scared of everything in Minecraft, okay?
You know what? Let's just make a bunch of buckets. I don't have time for this
It's bucket making time. smash like if you're excited for bucket making time. That's what I thought, that's what I thought
All right, we're making bu-
That's what I thought, that's what I thought. All right, we're making buckets.
♫ I got a bucket full of bucket full of sunshine ♫
Jesus christ, what is happening?
Oh, you can drown in Minecraft?
That's so unrealistic
Come h- goddamn. Why can the fishes breathe underwater then, huh?
Explain that, liberals. Let's try and find more exotic fishes
You are- Oh God!! Everything is scary in this game. Come back here
God damn, they're too fast. squi(d)zies
Come on
(sounds of disgust) All right, you're too ugly you have to die, I'm sorry
Those are the Minecraft rules. Don't look at me, I don't make it up. you ugly, you die
TURTLE!?!
You're coming with me. In the bucket, right now. I don't- come in the buck- all right in the boat then, fine
No, I want my turtle in my house
Can we drown the people?
Oh, kitty, you're going in the bucket. get it? You're going in the bucket.
You have no saying kitty, yoU'RE GOING IN THE BUCKET
YOU'RE GOING IN THE BUCKET. Come here, you snake
Goddammit
So disrespectful. what's happening? Hello
What is he doing?
Dude, you got so much bread, bro. You got so- you don't mind, do you?
Cool, I'll sleep in his house
Have you been looking at me the whole night?
Well, sorry I thought it was my house
What? I can make dyed pants?! what? leather. Okay, six leather. I'll be right back
cartography table?!
what??
All right, well this pool idea is very underwhelming
Why are they all there?
Is it the draft in the water? All right, it's cow murdering time. PETA, I have to do it. I have to get emerald
I have to get dyed pants. All right, you're gonna die
You didn't even drop leather, you're useless! They're escaping!! They're escaping!
They're escaping the camp
No, they're all escaping! What the f- goddammit! ugh y-you're dead. You're dead. You're just dead
That's what happened. No one escapes my camp
All right one gets to live because he's good. You escape, you die. That's the rules
WHERE ARE ALL MY FISH?!
You're all there! you suck, dude
alright, well now we can get epic pants, at least. Now we can get the Gucci pants
Hey, come on, did I tell you to stop?
You the Gucci pants guy. There you are. six?! I need six? Are you crazy?
Oh my god, dude. let's- let's bounce, Jörgen. These people are trying to swindle us
Alright, well this works out because I actually wanted to just ride out and murder people
I haven't really explored the area althou- oh wait, actually, I forgot. I want to make a compass. Can you make a compass?
I remember making a compass, even back in my day, cause I don't want to get lost. I don't want to lose my epic house
Boom boom boom and then in the middle. There's my compass. Alright, we're going out on an adventure
Oh it tells you where the house is
Aw that's so nice. Sto- Stop resisting
Stop resisting
We got six. Okay, no more killing. We only reap what we sow. That is not how that expression works
Okay well, I feel a lot more confident just riding off seeing what we're gonna find
You know what I'm saying? like who knows what we're gonna find
Like a little hole, that's pretty cool- actually I do need coal. Hold up, Hold up once sec
Jörgen?
Jörgen?
Jörgen
Where's Jörgen?
Where's Jörgen?
Jörgen?!
It's getting dark, Jörgen! wh-
Jörgen!
He must be here somewhere
Oh god
Hello, have you seen Jörgen? Oh God, they won't help me
I looked away one second, and then he was gone
Have you seen Jörgen? Oh my god. He must have fallen down a hole or something. He must be so scared
Oh god, ooh no. I was hoping he maybe he ran back home
(gaSP) OHHHH
WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?!
YOU GOT ME SO SCARED, JÖRGEN
OOOooh I'm so happy! oh I'll never leave you again, Jörgen
Woah jesus!
almost fell down there
My god
It's dangerous, this game. Whoa, what a mountain
Woah, what is that
is that a shipwreck?
What is that? All right, Jörgen, stay here
Gonna make sure it's safe
What kind of wood is this
uhhhhh
Is that a treasure chest (gasp) whAT?!
IT'S GLOWING!!
oh my god!
Minecraft- ahHH
Oh my craft- paper?!
Hey, Jörgen
Goddammit. Why does he keep- like, stay
Oh god, not this again. I left him here
Oh- I hear him. You snake, where are you. Is there a way to get a whistle to get your horse to- Jörgen
Oh my god, I look so pimp. I have less armor, but I look cool, so it's okay
Why do I hear him but not see him
(pillager noise)
What?
(pillager noise)
What the hell is this?
Have you kidnapped Jörgen?
Hey!
What the hell are you? You tried to kill me, I kill you
Is that a crossbow? you shoot way too slow, bro
Cool, it's getting dark again and Jörgen is nowhere to be found- Hey look more anime flowers. I love them
I hear them here, they are not here. Explain that
Oh my god!
What the hell are you wearing?
What is this?
They must have captured Jörgen. Give him back to me
Jörgen, are you in here?
Jörgen- I hear you
I hear you! he's in the trees or some shit
Oh my- you fu-
Why do I feel like I'm going crazy
where -
- is Jörgen?
The thing is I hear you
The ghost of Jörgen is haunting me, I swear to god
he was my only friend
Now I can't find him
I looked away two seconds
And then he was just gone,
Just like that
(gasp)
awh
Where? oh my god, where were y- you keEP DISAPPEARING!!
Ooh alright, we have him back. I looked all night, literally all night
I don't know what you were doing and I'm not even gonna ask
We're going back home, Jörgen
What the hell is that? Is that a donkey? you wanna come with me, donkey?
You want some wheat?
Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?
JÖRGEN!!!!!