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  • 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,160 Let's talk about something other than politics.

  • Have you heard of a website, Etsy?

  • Anybody?

  • Etsy?

  • OK, all right.

  • It's basically E-bay for your aunt

  • who knits sweaters for cats.

  • So they sell all kinds of handmade items on Etsy.

  • And some are great.

  • And some are less greater.

  • And I want to show you what I mean.

  • It's a new segment I'm calling Let's See Etsy.

  • [SONG - "THRIFT SHOP"]

  • I'm going to pop some tags.

  • Only got $20 in my pocket.

  • I, I'm hunting, looking for a come-up.

  • This is [MUTED] awesome.

  • Now, walk her to the club--

  • All right.

  • These are real items that I bought on Etsy.

  • The first one is right here.

  • And these are breast milk flavored toothpicks.

  • Yep, they're real.

  • And here's the hitch in this giddyup, right here.

  • Babies don't have teeth.

  • And adult shouldn't have breast milk.

  • But if you're buying breast milk flavored toothpicks,

  • you've got bigger problems than food stuck in your teeth.

  • And a note to inventors out there,

  • just because a product doesn't exist yet,

  • doesn't mean you should make it.

  • So breast flavored toothpicks.

  • Of course, I'm going to see what this tastes like.

  • 00:01:14,260 --> 00:01:16,060 Mm, Mommy.

  • 00:01:23,822 --> 00:01:25,280 I don't know what that tastes like.

  • Because I don't-- how would I know?

  • All right, here's where it gets weird.

  • I'm going to show you the next one.

  • These are items made with doll heads.

  • Here is a saucer.

  • It's a doll-head saucer, right there.

  • And then here is a doll-head dessert dish, right there.

  • And this is a doll-head planter.

  • You can put little flowers in there or something.

  • And-- here you go.

  • It doesn't look like you're entertaining.

  • It looks like the start of a horror movie,

  • is what it looks like.

  • This is what you call everything's-not-fine China.

  • 00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:06,827 Here.

  • 00:02:20,517 --> 00:02:21,350 Here's the last one.

  • You know the famous painting the Last Supper?

  • Everybody knows that.

  • OK, well, someone is selling this, right here.

  • This is on Etsy.

  • And this is the Lesbian Last Supper.

  • There I am in the middle.

  • They've put me in the middle with all

  • of my lesbian disciples there.

  • This is, I think, Portia.

  • And there's Jane Lynch, Wanda Sykes, Melissa Etheridge,

  • all your favorite lesbians are in here.

  • We all drove together in a Subaru Hatchback to get there.

  • 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:53,630 One of you will deny me.

  • One of you will betray me.

  • And one of you will marry me.

  • This says that it's 17 of 500.

  • And if anyone wants this, you're going

  • to have to pry it out of my cold, lesbian hands.

  • Because I'm going to hang this in my house.

  • It says that there's only four left on Etsy.

  • So these are popular.

  • Oh, there's three left, wow, out of 500.

  • These are really popular.

  • Who knew?

  • OK.

  • If you see something on Etsy you think

  • I should see, please buy it, and then send it to me.

00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,160 Let's talk about something other than politics.

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B1 US TheEllenShow etsy breast doll flavored lesbian

Ellen Tvored Toothpicks' and Other Crazy Etsy Products

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    294701639 posted on 2019/11/17
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