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  • I don't like that word.

  • I grew up hearing that a lot.

  • Bad or like the enemy.

  • If I were to be fat then I would feel less about myself.

  • I feel like my entire life I've been running away from fat.

  • The word fat is very hurtful.

  • You can call anybody fat if you want to, and it doesn't feel good on the inside.

  • Uh, disgusting.

  • I kind of associate weight gain or high BMI with just being lazy and not caring.

  • And I associated skinniness with being happy, and I associated being bigger with being unhappy.

  • Which is also bullshit because you're super unhappy when you have an eating disorder.

  • Me.

  • That's pretty much what I've been all my life.

  • Afraid.

  • With bulimia it's really hard because the thing I fear most is being fat.

  • I think of like, body shaming.

  • Fat on me feels like a failure.

  • I don't feel that way about other people, and I'm sure that's not how other people feel.

  • Failure, unlovable.

  • I guess now after I've been recovered for a little bit, I see fat as, it's not so negative anymore.

  • There are lots of good fats, and I don't think fat on your body is a bad thing.

  • And I don't think fat in your food means fat on your body, but it's been used as hate speech.

  • Fat can be a hateful word.

  • It can destroy some people.

  • But in some ways fat can be good.

  • And depending on how you image yourself, your fat can actually be great.

  • I see a lot of mothers with their daughters say, "don't eat that or else you're gonna get fat."

  • It's like, is that really the one thing that you don't want your daughter to be?

  • Labeled.

  • One's self worth is wrapped around a label.

  • It starts when you're young by the people that are around you.

  • And you can keep that label, and you can fight changing that label your entire life.

I don't like that word.

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