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  • -I just feel like we should chill for a while.

  • -I think we should take a break.

  • -You're breaking up with me?

  • -It's not you.

  • -Of course, it's me.

  • -It's me.

  • I don't like you anymore.

  • -You said that I was your soul mate.

  • -I did?

  • When?

  • -When we were at that bed and breakfast, having sex.

  • -You know that doesn't--

  • ---that doesn't, what?

  • ---count.

  • -I'm done with the relationship thing.

  • I'm emotionally unavailable.

  • -I'm emotionally damaged.

  • -You don't say?

  • -No emotions, just sex.

  • -I guess, we should just start.

  • -Bedroom.

  • -What's wrong with the couch?

  • -The bedroom has better light.

  • And since we're just friends, I don't have to be insecure

  • about my body.

  • -Come on, you're beautiful.

  • You have nothing to be--

  • -Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh.

  • That sounds emotionally supportive.

  • Lock that down.

  • -Your ass is a little bony.

  • -Much better.

  • -I can work with that.

  • -OK.

  • We should be fine.

  • Hm.

  • -Whoa.

  • -Mom!

  • -I don't know what you're doing.

  • I can't see you putting on your black underpants.

  • Jamie, baby, I missed you, oh, baby, ah.

  • Did your boobs get bigger?

  • -It's just sex.

  • -That never works.

  • -No, you don't get it, bro.

  • Jamie's different.

  • -She's no different.

  • -What do you know about women?

  • You're gay.

  • -But the offers still keep rolling in, naturally.

  • Look at me.

  • -Come with me to LA.

  • You'll be a great distraction for my family.

  • They'll love you.

  • All fast-talking and brusque, like I'm bringing home a

  • carny.

  • -Are those braids?

  • -Yeah.

  • He was going through a Kriss Kross phase.

  • -I can't believe you still like them.

  • -I didn't like these guys.

  • I don't even remember-- (RAPPING) Don't try to compare

  • us to another bad little fad.

  • I'm the mac.

  • And I'm bad.

  • I'll give you something that you never had.

  • -How close can we get to the sign?

  • -This is it.

  • -All right, come on.

  • -No, no, no.

  • Wait, they take this seriously.

  • -Pussy.

  • Aren't we getting too old for this?

  • -Sex?

  • -Casual sex.

  • I feel, so, so college-y.

  • -Oh, I could sing some Third Eye Blind.

  • -OK.

  • -(SINGING) Closing time.

  • One last call for alcohol--

  • -That's not Third Eye Blind.

  • -I'm pretty sure that's Third Eye Blind.

  • -No.

  • -You have a boat?

  • -I live in Jersey.

  • And I ain't taking no ferry--

  • unless it's out to dinner and a show.

  • Bam!

  • -You got to stop buying into this Hollywood

  • cliche of true love.

  • Shut up, Katherine Heigl.

  • You stupid liar!

  • -I got to mess it up.

  • -It seems you're really into this guy.

  • Do you want some motherly love advice?

  • -Mom, what are you doing?

  • -I'm the princess and Aubrey's my bad little pony.

  • -You've never done this before?

  • -This is the LAPD.

  • [HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING]

  • -I told you--

  • -Get down, now.

  • -Get down.

  • ---I have a fear of heights.

  • -Why would you come up here?

  • -You called me a pussy!

  • -Sir, this is your last warning.

  • -[CHUCKLES]

  • They actually wrapped you in a foil blanket.

  • Oh, my god.

  • That's good.

  • Oh, I got to see that again.

-I just feel like we should chill for a while.

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