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  • So recently, I was agonizing over a crush.

  • He hasn't texted me in a week.

  • But his Venmo transaction history seems to indicate that he's really busy eating pizza with his friends.

  • And a friend of mine who clearly took pity on the pathetic rationalizations she was witnessing sat me down and said...

  • You know, my mom had the best piece of dating advice about how to tell if someone likes you or not.

  • Yeah? Is it in his Venmo transaction history?

  • No.

  • How often he initiates texts?

  • I made a chart.

  • No, If they like you, you'll know.

  • And if they don't, you'll be confused.

  • What...

  • Yeah, I'm sorry.

  • There you have it!

  • It's that easy.

  • That's how easy it is.

  • I don't need to give you a three minutes video for this shit.

  • The average person opens Instagram 150 times a day.

  • So guess what?

  • Even though we like to tell ourselves that they're busy, or they're shy, or they're intimidated.

  • Nope!

  • Stop making excuses.

  • It's simple. Really it's simple.

  • If you're upfront with your interest and who you are, and they aren't reciprocating, they are not your person!

  • Move on!

  • There's a billion other fish in the sea, but there's also a lot of trash.

  • Oh, there's a lot of trash.

  • And you're going to be out there cleaning up the beach, looking for one solid shiny fish to bring home.

  • But you're wading through water bottles and plastic bags and mixed signals.

  • So if you're not getting a green light, go!

  • Go off!

  • Like I am now.

  • Also, I'm doing my first headline show on July 24th at the Moroccan Lounge in downtown LA.

  • If you're interested, tickets are in the description below as well as a VIP upgrade package that comes with a meet-and-greet, early show and sound check access, and a merch item.

  • Hope to see you there.

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  • Good luck, with the trash.

So recently, I was agonizing over a crush.

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