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  • Hon, can you give me a hand?

  • What's wrong?

  • I'm trying to sell our old sandwich maker.

  • Two people are interested.

  • There's Marcio. He's offering a kayak ride for two,

  • which sounds fun.

  • But Daniela's offering a handjob and a cap.

  • -What? -Think I'll pick the kayak.

  • You don't see me wearing many caps.

  • -She offered a handjob? -Yeah.

  • But you know I'm quick on handjobs.

  • With a stranger it'd be like, pump, pump, done.

  • You seriously considered a handjob?

  • You insane, Claudio? Is this a porn site?

  • Porn site?

  • This is Craigslist!

  • Craigslist...?

  • Before, people bought on eBay and stuff.

  • But now, with the crisis, people are trading off more.

  • It's come to the point of offering handjobs for a sandwich maker?

  • Can you believe it...

  • Claudio, you're such a sleazeball.

  • -What? -You say it like it's so normal.

  • I can't believe this!

  • -What...? -I can't believe it!

  • No, I can't believe it! You talk like it's something outrageous!

  • -And it's not? -Why would it be?

  • Remember when you wanted an engagement ring?

  • That one in your hand? You even cried to have it?

  • -Yeah, what about it? -Craigslist!

  • I bought it off a recently divorced lady!

  • I got half for you!

  • Claudio, the whole ring's here.

  • Yeah, it's whole,

  • but I paid half in cash

  • and half was a trade.

  • I gave her my bag and 30 minutes getting fucked by a strap-on!

  • Jesus, Claudio! That's not a trade!

  • It's got a different name!

  • -Fuck... -Yeah, a different name!

  • It's called a bargain!

  • This ring of yours was bought with my tears!

  • -Tears of pain! -I don't believe it...

  • Yeah, same! You've had this for over a year

  • and you didn't notice "Raul" engraved.

  • That's what's outrageous. Gimme a break.

  • -Fucking hell... -Fucking hell?

  • Let me see who's messaging me.

  • Hello?

  • Hey, Jakhur.

  • What's up?

  • No, yes, yes.

  • She's gonna get ready and come down asap, okay?

  • Thanks.

  • Get ready, I forgot to mention.

  • This couple from Angola wanted a surrogate mom, so I offered you.

  • -What? -Well,

  • you always dreamed of birthing a child, right?

  • So I got the best deal.

  • They're gonna pay us R$ 300 and two tickets to Paraty,

  • -all expenses paid. -That's it?

  • Not just that!

  • There's also this gorgeous yellow bike.

  • How many gears?

  • Oh, my God, what a sweet baby!

  • What's his name?

  • You know,

  • I didn't even have time to ask.

  • -Wow... -Thanks.

  • What the...?

Hon, can you give me a hand?

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B1 claudio craigslist kayak offering site ring

SITE DE COMPRA E VENDA

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    林宜悉 posted on 2019/08/03
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