Name: EVERY CHIPOTLE EVER
Uploaded: 2019-08-28T08:05:11.000Z
Duration: 7 min 47 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

Oh yeah. I want a burrito but like... the tortillas are so high in calories and I'm trying to eat healthier, so...I don't know?

Oh, can I also get approximately two tortillas worth of chips?

You know since I'm eating healthy, I might as well treat myself, you know.

I mean c...come on like beans are beans r...right?

Okay, fine, whatever. Uhm, can you put rice on that too?

You want a quesadilla? It'll be ready in two days.

Yeah, mild salsa, and um... You know what, can I actually get the rice, please?

Sir, this is the toppings portion of the assembly. The rice is over in the bases.

No, the burritos can only travel in one swift direction.

Sir, I don't know how they do things at H&R Block or wherever chaotic sh*thole you work,

but here at Chipotle, we have strict rules and regulations, you got it?

Yeah, and for trying to bully us into violating those rules, we're gonna have to ask you to leave.   - Get out.

What a jerk.   - Yeah, you're telling me.

Sofritas is Spanish for: ain't no meat in this!

I told you I can't eat anything here. The burritos are too big and they make my belly all bloated.

Why can't we just do something I wanna do?

Because everything you like to do sucks ass. Okay look, I'm sorry for going off on you in this restaurant, but just being honest.

I order the bowl and then I just use chips as a utensil

Yeah I like to remind people that's extra just to put them in their place.   - Sure.

Now let me teach you how to wrap a burrito.   - Oh, I think I'm actually good on that.

You sure?   - Yeah, it's wrapping a burrito. How hard is it gonna be?

Okay, then you pick it up and we're goo-, We know that now.

That is the swan's head. Chill, that's chill. Let's just fold it as best we ca-

Damnit. Hold this up. Tuck it in like that, flip it over. No, that'll never work!

Turn it up. So we're gonna tuck it. Tuck it. And tuck it.

Sorry we're out of grilled veggies. We always have been and we always will be.

What's with all the writing on the cups?   - I dunno, I never actually read it.

Hey you, yeah, you. Did, you know that Chipotle's cup artists are all indentured servants paid weekly in burritos?

There were six of us, each one kidnapped and taken to a lighthouse by Robo under the light of the full moon.

Kept under lock and key and hidden from the world. Of the original 6, 4 have perished from the E. coli in the lettuce.

but that's not why I'm writing this. I miss my wife. Her name is Sarah Rynerson.

I need her to know that I didn't leave and I promise I'll find a way home to her.

Wow, that is such corporate bulls***.    - Totally.

Are you actually gonna order a margarita here?

Yeah.   - Okay, then I would like the avocado salsa.

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EVERY CHIPOTLE EVER

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