Name: Tara Westover: "You Can Love Someone & Still Choose to Say Goodbye" | SuperSoul Sunday | OWN
Uploaded: 2019-09-05T03:48:47.000Z
Duration: 4 min 34 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

not just our culture, I think many cultures--

and this is for everybody in the room who's watching

and anybody who's watching who needs to hear it.

You said, "You can love someone and still

You said, "You can miss a person every day

and still be glad that they're no longer in your life."

I think y'all are clapping because y'all know

And I think that for a lot of people that's a contradiction,

that if you love, then you're supposed to put up with it

no matter what and that if you, you know, are missing them,

then you can't also be glad that they're gone.

But, I mean, I think there's such power and wisdom in that.

I think there was a long time for me I thought because I

loved him that meant maybe I'd made the wrong decision

or because I miss them, then I would second guess

myself and think, oh, because I miss them it

And it took me a really long time to figure out

One of the last things that happened between me

and my father the last time I saw him, he came over

and he gave me this really awkward side hug.

And I think we do love a real disservice when we make it

about control and power and changing people,

You give them that for free, and then you

And the alternative is to say, well, I'm going to change them,

and then I'll have them in my life, and that's not love.

So I would say with my own family, I love them now.

I love them very much, but I've accepted the fact

that I need them to change to have them in my life,

and whether or not they change is something

to your father's house, in your mind you were still kind

of that 16-year-old girl and that your final transformation,

you say, it was the one that allowed you to actually break

free from your family occurred when inside your mind you

stopped being the daughter your father raised

And it says that faith is the substance of things hoped for--

And I think for me there was one of the things that made it

was not being able to imagine any kind of future life

We grow up in these families, and we learn certain patterns.

And we think that we're all liberated and changed,

and then as soon as we get back in that situation,

Or worse, very often we have dysfunctional family

relationships, and then we go out into the world

and we find people who will repeat that pattern with us.

as a belief in a better world and a different world

and a different life than you've experienced,