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  • Hello, everybody, this is Jack

  • from tofluency.com,

  • along with-- Kate.

  • And we are back with another conversation

  • in both British and American English.

  • Now, be sure to check out the description

  • for a list of the words and phrases

  • that we use in this conversation.

  • And the idea behind this

  • is to give you a conversation to listen to

  • so that you can improve your English.

  • And today, we are going to talk about--

  • Sleep. Sleep.

  • Which we're actually talking about this

  • on the way to the office today,

  • and coming up with different terms

  • and different topics of discussion.

  • We're gonna talk about a lack of sleep,

  • tips for better sleep,

  • although we don't know much about that.

  • No, we're in a little bit

  • of a not well rested phase in our lives.

  • Yeah, and a great place to start

  • is the term "suffering from a lack of sleep."

  • Uh-huh, sleep deprivation is the extreme end of that,

  • but right now we're not sleeping very well.

  • And this just means that you don't get

  • as much sleep as you need.

  • How many hours do you need a night do you think?

  • I've heard that the average for an adult is about eight.

  • About eight. Yeah.

  • Yeah. That's a good amount.

  • Yeah, I've heard six to eight is what most people need.

  • I do remember, I think it was Margaret Thatcher,

  • she managed to get by on four hours of sleep.

  • Wow.

  • All her life.

  • That's amazing. Which is crazy.

  • That is unreal.

  • I couldn't even imagine that, especially as a child,

  • you know, going to to bed at seven,

  • and then they would wake up at one o'clock

  • to start the day.

  • It was probably in her adult years.

  • Okay.

  • But yeah, she just needed four hours of sleep to get by.

  • How much sleep do you need to function?

  • Me, personally? You personally.

  • Seven. Seven?

  • Yeah.

  • Six is okay. Mm-hmm.

  • Four, I'm entering into that, "Am I alive,

  • "am I dreaming" territory during the day.

  • You know? (chuckles) Yeah.

  • And you sleep--

  • you're not sleeping very well. No, I'm not.

  • Ideally, I think I need more sleep than you do.

  • Yeah, I think so.

  • I think in a perfect world,

  • I would sleep nine or 10 hours a night.

  • (huffs) Nine to 10 hours. I know, I know.

  • Yeah. Yeah.

  • But if I get six, then I get that adrenaline going

  • when I'm not sleeping,

  • and you just power through.

  • Yeah, power through, which-- Drink a lot of coffee.

  • Yeah, to power through means like you just go for it,

  • and you ride the wave,

  • and you just keep going even though you're struggling.

  • It just made me think about

  • what type of sleep we used to get.

  • What time we used to go to bed--

  • Uh-huh. And wake up.

  • And it was very different to what we do now.

  • I almost don't want to admit it.

  • Well, we have to tell 'em.

  • We used to go to bed--

  • it was very rare that we went to sleep before 12 o'clock.

  • Yeah. Before midnight.

  • Very rare.

  • And we used to have long lie ins, didn't we?

  • Yeah, we used to--

  • in America, we say "sleep in." Oh, yeah.

  • We used to sleep in until like 9:30 or 10.

  • Oh, later than that.

  • Don't--

  • yeah, well--

  • That's hard to imagine right now. (chuckles)

  • And that happened a lot in Spain.

  • Uh-huh.

  • We would wake up very late. Mm-hmm.

  • But we also taught quite late most days.

  • Mm-hmm.

  • And I remember those eight o'clock mornings

  • when I had to get to language school by nine.

  • They were brutal. Yeah.

  • At university, too.

  • (chuckles)

  • I used to go to bed really late,

  • and it was very rare that I got up before 11 am.

  • Did you ever pull an all-nighter?

  • Oh, yeah.

  • Every time I had an exam. Uh-huh.

  • I couldn't sleep before exams.

  • Mm-hmm. I found it impossible.

  • Just the nerves? Yeah!

  • I wasn't that nervous, but it became a habit.

  • Mm-hmm.

  • It became a routine for me

  • that I just couldn't get to sleep before exams.

  • Sometimes I would procrastinate,

  • and then I would have a big paper due, or an exam,

  • and I would pull an all-nighter.

  • Or several papers or exams. (chuckles)

  • You pulled an all-nighter once

  • before you came to visit me

  • for Christmas. I did!

  • It was the first time that I went to the UK.

  • First time I was meeting your friends, meeting your family.

  • The very first time.

  • And the night before, I had a major paper due.

  • Mm-hmm. I pulled an all-nighter.

  • Yup.

  • Sent my professor the wrong draft.

  • I didn't know that. Yes.

  • Sent my professor the wrong draft.

  • Then I got on the plane,

  • and I was so excited to see you

  • that I couldn't sleep at all.

  • And it was like 24 hours of travel,

  • so by the time that I met your family,

  • I had been awake for 36 hours.

  • And do you remember what happened in the car?

  • Well, you came off the plane like a zombie.

  • (chuckles) Yes. To begin with.

  • I'm sure that you thought, "Oh,

  • "this girl that I'm in love with,"

  • you know, who, you didn't know then,

  • but would eventually be your wife,

  • and you're gonna meet her,

  • and like introduce her to your family,

  • and I just come off and I'm completely-- (chuckles)

  • Well, yeah, and that night we went to the pub,

  • and then the following day we went to a football game.

  • Mm-hmm. A soccer game.

  • And it was a big derby between Preston and Bernly.

  • Like a rivalry. Yeah.

  • And you fell asleep in the car with your mouth open.

  • I remember waking up and just feeling

  • like my mouth was so dry,

  • and I might have been drooling.

  • Probably. Can we say drooling?

  • We took some photos. So embarrassing.

  • You did?

  • Yeah, I've never told you that, have I?

  • No. (chuckles) Yeah.

  • Well, Mark did.

  • Let's just blame Mark.

  • (chuckles)

  • Movin' on--

  • That's awful.

  • (chuckles) Yeah.

  • I can't believe that.

  • Speaking of which, though,

  • are you a light or a heavy sleeper?

  • I'm an extremely light sleeper.

  • Yeah, which means that you wake up very easily

  • during the night. Mm-hmm.

  • If there's a sound or, you know,

  • anything that happens, you're awake.

  • I'm awake instantly. Yeah.

  • You're a much heavier sleeper.

  • I didn't used to be.

  • No? No.

  • Oh, yeah.

  • I remember that.

  • Yeah.

  • It was before Kate,

  • I was just a very light sleeper.

  • Uh-huh.

  • After Kate, I was a deep sleeper.

  • It's amazing, it switched like that.

  • You were such a light sleeper,

  • and now you don't wake up ever. (laughs)

  • No. No, I don't.

  • Well, I do sometimes,

  • but I will wake up,

  • and then get back to sleep straight away.

  • Last night I woke up two or three times,

  • and I went back to sleep straight away.

  • Let's move on.

  • Let's talk about

  • what you need to do to get ideal sleep.

  • Mm-hmm.

  • What are some of the things that you can do

  • to make sure that you can fall asleep easily--

  • Uh-huh. And sleep through the night.

  • And I know I'm probably asking the wrong person.

  • No, no, no, you are asking the right person.

  • Just because I'm not doing it,

  • doesn't mean that I don't think about it all the time.

  • Right. And I have lots of ideas.

  • Share them. Okay.

  • So I think that the first thing

  • that you need to do to have ideal sleep

  • is to have a clear mind. Mm-hmm, yup.

  • So I think that a lot of things that you need to do,

  • if you have anything that you're worried about,

  • if you have anything that's causing

  • you stress during the day,

  • to just sit down and to make a list, to make a plan,

  • and that way it's off your chest.

  • No, it's true, I would-- No.

  • Write it down. But you don't do that.

  • No. You tell me.

  • I tell you. The problems. (chuckles)

  • You're like my journal. (laughs)

  • You just, what do we call it when you, uh,

  • is it like Kate-- I muse.

  • Yeah, I muse at night.

  • So before I go to bed, I just think about all the things,

  • then I tell Jack all of them.

  • Except now you have these earphones.

  • You put in earphones,

  • and just, every now and then, just, "Uh-huh.

  • "Yup, uh-huh."

  • Yeah, I mean, (chuckles) it happened last night.

  • (chuckles) It did.

  • At one stage I said, "Do you not realize

  • "I'm listening to a podcast?"

  • Oh, yes.

  • (chuckles) Do you not realize that's what I'm doing?

  • That's okay, because--

  • because I was just off-loading all of my worries,

  • all of my problems, all of my stress.

  • You can have them. Yup.

  • Especially if you're not really listening.

  • So that's one thing. Yeah, that works.

  • I think also it's really important

  • to not have sugar, or alcohol, caffeine before bed,

  • 'cause that can really mess with your sleep.

  • Especially now that we're older.

  • Like I used to be able to drink anything

  • or eat anything and sleep completely soundly.

  • What if it's the placebo effect a little bit?

  • 'Cause I used to always have a cup of tea,

  • this is very British, but, you know,

  • when we got home from work,

  • we would have a cup of tea. Mm-hmm.

  • 6:30.

  • And then again, thinking about it,

  • I couldn't get to sleep that-- (chuckles)

  • Maybe that's why you were a light sleeper.

  • Yeah, 'cause I had caffeine throughout the afternoon.

  • Yeah.

  • We used to have eight cups of tea at work a day.

  • It's not as strong as coffee,

  • but there's still caffeine in it.

  • Mm-hmm.

  • And then when we got home, there's a cup of tea.

  • Yeah. And then dinner.

  • That's probably why I was a light sleeper.

  • There you go.

  • So caffeine--

  • So basically, you need to start drinking tea

  • in the evening now. Why?

  • So we're equal levels of light sleeper.

  • You should come to my side. Come to your side, okay.

  • Fair enough.

  • Caffeine, what about temperature?

  • Okay, so I have a theory

  • about ideal sleep conditions. Mm-hmm.

  • And you can disagree with me,

  • but here's what I think make ideal sleep conditions, okay?

  • First of all, you have your cozy pajamas,

  • you're all de-stressed-- Yup.

  • Maybe you like spritz a little lavender

  • on your pillow or take a shower,

  • but anyway, the room is cool. Yes, I agree with that.

  • Maybe 65, 67 degrees.

  • That's what science says.

  • And I think it's also important

  • to have a warm but heavy blanket.

  • I've heard that if the blanket is physically heavier,

  • if it weighs more, it'll help you sleep better.

  • So a heavy blanket allows you to sleep better.

  • Yeah. Yeah, I've heard that, too.

  • Yeah.

  • But then you need a cool room,

  • and that kind of works with a heavy blanket

  • at the same time. A heavy blanket, mm-hmm.

  • Yeah.

  • Because I think there's a study on that

  • in terms of the ideal temperature,

  • and it's about 65 degrees fahrenheit.

  • We're not talking celsius.

  • What would that be in celsius?

  • Um, 18?

  • Wow, that sounds so cold to me.

  • 17, maybe?

  • Mm-hmm.

  • Yeah, something like that anyway.

  • (chuckles)

  • So science says--

  • Science says 65 degrees.

  • Yeah.

  • Something that has happened recently,

  • while we're, you know,

  • the time of year that we're filming this,

  • is daylight savings and the clock changing.

  • Yes.

  • And a good way to remember it

  • is to spring forward, fall back.

  • Some phraser verbs there, to fall back.

  • Yeah.

  • And we have just had that time change,

  • so six o'clock is now five o'clock.

  • It's really hard to explain sometimes,

  • and everybody gets confused.

  • Everyone's saying, "Are we going back?

  • "Are we going forward?

  • "Is this the good one?" Mm-hmm.

  • 'Cause there's a good one, right?

  • This is the good one.

  • Because you get that extra hour in bed.

  • Unless you're a parent. Unless you're a parent.

  • So, and we haven't mentioned this at all,

  • because I think we didn't want to talk

  • too much about being parents,

  • but that's the reason

  • why we are so sleep deprived right now.

  • Our one-year-old is not sleeping very well,

  • and hasn't slept through the night yet.

  • Yes, to sleep through the night,

  • which just means that you go to sleep

  • at bedtime and you wake up at a good time.

  • And you don't wake up during the night.

  • Yeah, sleep through the night.

  • And I have to say here, we have a new light,

  • but otherwise, (chuckles)

  • we probably look really tired.

  • We probably look really tired. (chuckles)

  • And there's a really good thing to mention here,

  • the bags under your eyes.

  • Yeah. Yeah.

  • Which is when it's like you look tired under here.

  • You get bags under your eyes.

  • So thank you for this light.

  • It's helping us. Mm-hmm.

  • Do you take naps at all?

  • I wish I could nap.

  • Naps are just amazing if you can do it.

  • Like, I think you have to have the perfect amount of time,

  • otherwise, you feel so groggy.

  • Oh, there are different types of naps.

  • There's one where you get about half an hour,

  • and you wake up and you think,

  • "I needed that nap, I feel great."

  • Mm-hmm.

  • And then there's the other one,

  • where you wake up and you're like,

  • "I don't know where I am."

  • You don't know who you are. (chuckles)

  • Exactly, you just don't know what is going on.

  • Yes.

  • So there are definitely different types of naps.

  • And it's so funny because

  • our four-year-old just stopped napping,

  • and our one-year-old naps a few times.

  • I know we're not talking too much about it--

  • But we are. But kids hate napping.

  • Yeah.

  • I don't know why.

  • Well,

  • as a kid, you don't want to go to bed.

  • You don't want to miss out.

  • No, you want to play as long as you can.

  • And even though you feel really tired,

  • you fight it. Yup.

  • And we sometimes do that, too.

  • True, especially in the evening when it's just us

  • and we're having some time to just hang out

  • or do something that we want to do,

  • or watch a TV show.

  • Sometimes we get really into a TV show,

  • and they always end on a cliffhanger,

  • so you want to know what happens next.

  • Yup.

  • And then we watch the next episode,

  • and we stay up later than we should.

  • What show are we into at the moment?

  • Stranger Things.

  • Yeah, we've only watched one episode of season two.

  • Can you catch up on sleep,

  • and what does that mean to catch up on sleep?

  • Mm-hmm.

  • So I think that to catch up on sleep,

  • so when you're in a state where you're sleep deprived,

  • you're not getting the sleep that you need,

  • and then you get some time,

  • and you get to sleep a few extra hours one night,

  • then you feel like you've caught up.

  • Mm-hmm.

  • I've heard so many scientific studies

  • say that that's impossible to do, but--

  • It's stupid. Yeah.

  • It's blatantly obvious that you can catch up on sleep.

  • Yes.

  • Because one night, if you sleep for one hour,

  • and then the next night, you sleep longer than usual.

  • Mm-hmm. Every time.

  • Unless, you know, you're in this kind of phase

  • where you're, what's the term?

  • When you can't sleep?

  • If you have insomnia.

  • Yeah, if you have insomnia. And I have insomnia, yes.

  • I remember one time when I went

  • on a lad's holiday.

  • (chuckles) Go on.

  • Which means there were, I think, 12 of us,

  • we're all 17. Mm-hmm.

  • And we went away for a week. Mm-hmm.

  • And you can imagine that we didn't prioritize sleep.

  • No, I can imagine that.

  • We stayed up late, we got up early,

  • and we were young, so we could do it.

  • But when I got home, I slept for 18 hours.

  • Wow.

  • 18 hours, wonderful.

  • Mm-hmm.

  • And I caught up on sleep.

  • Yeah, and when you're sick, you sleep a lot, too.

  • Yeah.

  • You catch up.

  • Yeah, you catch up on sleep when you're sick, too.

  • Or I guess you just sleep longer.

  • Mm-hmm. Yeah.

  • I have a kind of a strange question for you.

  • Go on.

  • 'Cause-- Oh, for everyone.

  • Oh, yeah? Yeah.

  • Okay. Yeah.

  • But I'll answer, too.

  • Yeah, you answer, too.

  • Because we've been waking up so frequently,

  • a lot of times when I wake up,

  • I'll wake up in the middle of a dream.

  • And so I'll remember it in a way that I wouldn't

  • if I'd gone back into the sleep cycle,

  • and then I would have totally forgotten it by the morning.

  • So I'm just having all sorts of dreams

  • that I'm remembering now.

  • Do you dream a lot?

  • I can't really remember some recent dreams.

  • Mm-hmm.

  • And it's strange, like, sometimes,

  • you have the thought of a dream, but from--

  • and you don't know.

  • Was it yesterday?

  • But it feels like it was 10 years ago

  • when I had this dream. Yes.

  • And I'm just experiencing that again now.

  • Yes. That's the strangest thing.

  • It is.

  • But I don't, I can't remember a recent dream.

  • Usually, though, they're pretty boring these days.

  • Really?

  • In terms of, like, I'm thinking about something at night,

  • I'll dream about it. Yeah.

  • It's very simple.

  • I know sometimes when we take like really long road trips,

  • or when we used to, and there would be a lot of driving.

  • And then you'd go sleep,

  • and you'd still be driving in your head.

  • Has that ever happened to you? That's the strangest thing.

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah, when you're driving,

  • especially for hours and hours and hours.

  • Mm-hmm. Yeah.

  • Do you want to remember your dreams?

  • Not particularly.

  • I think dreams are so fascinating,

  • and my younger sister has gotten really into dreams,

  • and into kind of this way of dreaming

  • where she remembers her dreams,

  • and she can kind of control her dreams as she's dreaming,

  • and I think that's really interesting.

  • Which is called?

  • Isn't it lucid dreaming? Yeah.

  • Lucid dreaming.

  • And this reminds me of the film Vanilla Sky.

  • And Inception.

  • Oh, and Inception.

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah.

  • Sometimes, though, I don't like films

  • where you don't know if it's a dream or not.

  • Oh, yeah, that's the worst.

  • That just gives them full power over,

  • "Oh, well, that scene wasn't real,

  • "because it was just a dream."

  • Yeah, that's the worst.

  • Or when a story ends, and then it's the,

  • "And she woke up, and it was all a dream."

  • Exactly, mm-hmm.

  • That's frustrating.

  • Do you have a question for people?

  • Because it's time for Kate's question.

  • Oh, can it be the one about dreaming?

  • Well, I thought about-- A better question?

  • Yeah, like,

  • how much sleep do you need?

  • How much sleep do you need?

  • Tell us.

  • Yeah, and how much sleep are you getting?

  • Because either you're getting tons,

  • and tons, and tons of sleep,

  • in which case I want to know,

  • so I can live vicariously through you,

  • so I can pretend that I'm getting that much sleep, too.

  • And if you're not, then join the club.

  • Yeah. (chuckles)

  • I actually got a comment from somebody

  • on the Facebook page. Mm-hmm.

  • I asked a question, "Complete the sentence,

  • 'This morning, I--'"

  • And someone said, "Woke up,

  • "thought it was morning, but realized it was the afternoon.

  • "'Cause I woke up at 2:30 pm."

  • Oh my gosh, yeah.

  • Oh, and sleeping through your alarm clock.

  • Like, we don't even have an alarm clock anymore.

  • 'Cause we never sleep past six o'clock.

  • No. I wish.

  • So yeah, the question is how much sleep

  • are you currently getting,

  • and is it enough for you at the moment?

  • Yeah, and feel free to talk about, too,

  • what is your ideal sleep conditions.

  • I know we talked about a cold room with a heavy blanket,

  • but that's kind of boring.

  • Like, maybe you want to sleep on a beach,

  • or in a hammock, or out in a tent

  • if you can go camping and sleep in a tent

  • which I can't do. No.

  • No, 'cause I'm a light sleeper.

  • Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah.

  • And it's cold. It's cold.

  • Yeah, so I hope you have enjoyed this conversation.

  • I'll leave the key words and phrases

  • in the description below,

  • and feel free to watch more of our conversations.

  • I'll leave some videos on your screen.

  • Bye for now. Bye.

  • Sleep well. Oh, and sleep well.

  • (bluesy rock music)

Hello, everybody, this is Jack

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