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  • Hello.

  • My name's Ronnie.

  • Are you a mother or a father, or a teacher or someone?

  • Are you someone?

  • Are you a human?

  • Me too.

  • I want to tell you something that's really, really cool and amazing.

  • The way that we speak to students or the way that you speak to children or even other people,

  • if you're a boss or you are a manager of someone or of a company - it's very, very important

  • the way that you speak to people because if you are very direct with people, they will

  • not respond to you, and they will close down, they will lose their confidence, and they

  • will not do what you need them to do.

  • I'm a teacher.

  • Surprise.

  • And in a classroom, there is certain language that you can use to help students motivate them...

  • To help motivate students, and there's also certain language that you can use with children

  • or with employees to help motivate them or encourage them.

  • So, what I'm going to teach you today is English phrases that you probably use, and maybe they're

  • not getting the results that you need in your place of work, at home with children, or in

  • a classroom.

  • And the reason why is it's because how people react to what you say.

  • If someone throws you negative energy, you're not going to respond very well to them.

  • For example, if you're upset and someone says: -"Just relax.

  • Don't worry."

  • -"Don't tell me to relax.

  • I'm angry."

  • The worst thing you can do is tell someone to relax, because it makes it worse.

  • So, I'm going to go through some harsh phrases and how to make them softer to encourage people

  • to get them to do what you want.

  • "Manipulation" is another word.

  • So, as a teacher, I know that sometimes students do not understand something.

  • Now, I know because of their faces; they have a blank stare, or they look around, or they

  • look at the ground.

  • So, as a teacher, you say: "Okay.

  • Do you have any questions?"

  • And, of course, you are shy.

  • You don't want to ask the teacher a question.

  • Maybe you will look stupid if you ask the teacher a question.

  • So, teachers, instead of saying: "Do you have any questions?" and waiting in silence, it

  • would be better to say: "I'm here to help.

  • Please ask me."

  • It's the same thing if you are in a job, or you are the manager of someone, or you are

  • the boss of someone.

  • Instead of saying: "Do you have any questions?" you can be nice and say: "I'm here to help

  • you, so please ask me questions.

  • Feel free to ask me questions."

  • This makes you more approachable.

  • "Approachable" means easier to talk to, because you need to make sure that the people respect

  • you, and then you can have a good relationship, whether it be in the classroom, at a job,

  • or with your children, or anyone really.

  • "Why don't you understand?

  • Oh my god, you're so stupid."

  • So, obviously there is a problem; maybe with instructions, or language, or communication.

  • Instead of asking the person: "Why don't you understand?" because they don't know why they

  • understand, you could say something like: "Oh, hey.

  • Let me show you again."

  • Or: "Let me tell you again how to do it."

  • Again, you're taking the person and making them help you.

  • You want to help the person.

  • You don't want the person to feel stupid or feel not good about themselves; you want to

  • encourage people in a classroom, you want to encourage your children to learn.

  • As soon as you stop doing that, people shut off; they don't want to learn from you, they

  • don't want to take guidance from you, especially in a job.

  • You're supposed to be a leader if you're a manager.

  • You're supposed to give people guidance.

  • And if you don't do that properly, no one's going to follow you.

  • Your team, it's not going to work too well.

  • So: "Shut up!

  • Oh my god!"

  • I understand, as a parent, children are loud, or in a classroom the classroom gets crazy;

  • students are loud.

  • You want to just scream: "Shut up!" or "Be quiet!"

  • Okay, do it.

  • But if that doesn't work, another method you could say is, especially to children: "Please

  • speak in a quieter voice."

  • So, maybe your kids are running around the house, screaming and yelling, or they're just

  • so excited: "Wah!

  • Oh my god!"

  • That's good.

  • It's good to show excitement, but it's better to say to them: "Please talk in a quieter

  • voice.

  • Please be more quiet.

  • You don't have to stop talking, but just keep the level down."

  • There's something I think from The Simpsons, and they had a thing: "Inside voice and outside voice."

  • So, when you go outside, you have to speak louder because there's more interference;

  • when you're inside, your voice should be quieter.

  • So, some people say: "Use your inside voice", which means be a little quieter.

  • Do you know people that use their outside voice all the time?

  • Like on the phone: "Hey, Mom!

  • How's it go-..."

  • Hey.

  • Don't yell at the phone; your Mom can hear you.

  • This is a problem with children, with other people who aren't children (adults) - a lot

  • of kids like to say bad words.

  • I say bad words.

  • But you don't want your child to go to school and tell someone off or use bad words to children

  • because it's not cool.

  • So, you can say to your child: "Hey, hey, hey.

  • Do you know what?

  • Let's... let's please speak with respect to other people.

  • You might be angry right now or you might have a problem, but bad words do not solve anything.

  • Let's talk with respect and try and work out the problem."

  • It's the same in an office.

  • If two office...

  • If co-workers are going crazy, and they're...

  • They're: "Ah!"

  • They hate each other, they want to kill each other or there's a problem - don't use bad

  • words because, again, that escalates into violence.

  • Oh, that's chaos.

  • Not that bad, but it just has bad energy.

  • So, try and get the person to use a calmer voice and talk about things.

  • This is really good for children because kids love to do this.

  • I guess I'm a kid; I like to make a mess, too.

  • So, kids like to make a mess.

  • "Make a mess" means put things everywhere, get things dirty, colour on things, leave

  • toys everywhere.

  • Kids do this; it's natural.

  • And you get angry because you have to clean it.

  • But, hey, how about you get your kid to clean it?

  • How about you teach them how to be responsible with their things?

  • So, instead of saying: "Ah, you made a mess!" you can say: "Woo!

  • It looks like you had fun today.

  • Let's clean it up now.

  • I'll help you."

  • Or: "You'll clean this up and it'll be better."

  • You want to encourage the child to clean up his or her own mess.

  • Not you; you're not the maid of your child.

  • You want to teach the kid responsibility and how to do things for themselves; very important.

  • Next one.

  • Now, this is something that is very frustrating.

  • You give people instructions at a job, in a classroom, or for anyone, and they do it

  • wrong or they just don't do it, and you say: "Oh my god.

  • I already told you how to do this.

  • Why didn't you do it the correct way?

  • What's wrong with you?"

  • So this shuts the person down; they will not want to do anything for you again.

  • So, instead of saying this, you can say: "Oh, do you know what?

  • Let me give you another example of how I want you to do this or how this could be done."

  • Maybe the person didn't really understand you, and that's why they didn't do it the

  • way you wanted them to, or they're just being disrespectful.

  • You always have to find out the proper situation first.

  • Is the person doing this because they just want to, or do they clearly not understand

  • what's happened?

  • If that's the case, give them another example, tell them again, help them.

  • If you help them, they help you; it's a two-way street.

  • This is a big one, too.

  • Now, people overreact all the time.

  • And as I told you at the beginning: "Relax.

  • Oh my god.

  • You're taking life too seriously."

  • Well, everyone is entitled to their own emotions.

  • If something makes you angry or something makes you sad, that's fine; those are your

  • emotions, and you have the right to express them any way you want.

  • But if you tell someone: "You're overreacting!

  • Relax!

  • Calm down!" this makes the person sadder, makes them cry more, or it makes them more angry.

  • You don't want to do that.

  • You want the person to relax, but without telling them.

  • So, you can say: "Hey, hey, hey.

  • Don't worry."

  • Maybe you give your child a task to do and they can't do it, say: "Don't worry.

  • Try it again.

  • You can do it."

  • You need to encourage children, you need to encourage people if they fail to do it again,

  • and again, and again.

  • By this time, just give up.

  • I mean, come on.

  • They're never going to do it.

  • But you need to tell them to at least try to do it.

  • It's kind of like me and math.

  • I'm terrible in math, and I just gave up.

  • Now I have a calculator.

  • Yes.

  • Thank you, cell phones.

  • Math teachers, I don't need your help.

  • Another thing that we do because we understand more than a student, or more than a child,

  • or maybe more than a worker is we tell people: "What?

  • It's not hard; it's easy.

  • Come on.

  • Why can't you do this?"

  • So, this makes the person feel stupid.

  • "Oh my god.

  • I can't do this."

  • Especially children, if you say: "Come on, you can...

  • Why can't you do this?" the child feels like they don't want to try even.

  • So, again, you're going to encourage them.

  • Say: "Do you know what?

  • Oh, this is hard for you; that's okay.

  • Let me help you.

  • You can do it."

  • Again, when you encourage people, it makes them want to try the thing again.

  • So, if you are a teacher in a classroom and you're having control issues with your class,

  • or if you are a mother or a father or a babysitter or you have kids around you and you need them

  • to follow your instructions and respect you, if you're a boss at a job or a manager and

  • the employees aren't working well together - I want you to examine yourself.

  • I want you to look to see if you are a good leader; if you are using language that actually

  • encourages people or most of the time-and I do this, too-we use language that makes

  • people close up and not want to help.

  • So, take a look at yourself, and then you can help the people that need your guidance.

  • This is all the tips I have for today.

  • Go out, have fun at work, and encourage people to be good.

  • Don't be evil.

Hello.

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