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  • Hi, my name is Rebecca from www.engvid.com. In today's lesson, we will be talking about

  • good manners or what can also be referred to sometimes as cross-cultural skills. What

  • does that mean? It's the skills that you need to function effectively in a different culture

  • than your own. So for example: if I were to come to your country and learn your language,

  • do you think that would be enough? Not really, because along with the language, I also need

  • to learn what's acceptable, what's not okay in that particular culture. So today, we'll

  • be talking about 12 things that you need to say and do when you're living or working in

  • an English speaking environment. Okay? Let's get started.

  • So first we'll talk about what you should say. The first one is using the word: "please".

  • Now, everybody knows that you should say "please", but not everybody remembers to actually say

  • it. So for example: if you go into a coffee shop, don't just say: "Coffee." Say: "Coffee,

  • please." Or if you're asking someone else to do something, also remember: "Could you

  • please turn off your cellphone?", for example. All right?

  • Next: remember to say "thank you" whenever somebody does something. "Thank you", "You're

  • welcome": these are phrases that we do use very often in English. And it could be for

  • anything simple like somebody holding the door for you or it could be for something

  • more elaborate like somebody giving you a birthday present. Okay? The way you say it,

  • say it from your heart. Okay? "Thank you.", "Thank you very much." And so on.

  • The next one is to say "sorry", or even better to say "I'm sorry", because "I'm sorry" is

  • more personal. But otherwise, at least say "sorry". And again, you can say "sorry" for

  • little things like perhaps stepping on someone's foot or if you bang into someone by mistake,

  • you bump into someone by mistake somewhere in a crowded place, still apologize, say:

  • "I'm sorry.", "I'm sorry.", "I'm sorry." Okay? We do use that quite often.

  • Next one: "Excuse me." Now, "excuse me" you can say when you sneeze. Right? [Achoo!].

  • "Excuse me." Or if you need to ask somebody for some information, you can say: "Excuse

  • me, would you know where the nearest subway is?" Right? So this is a very useful expression

  • and it's also a polite expression. The next one is to remember to greet people

  • and also to wish people. By greeting people, even at work if you're working in an English

  • speaking environment, remember we do say "good morning", "good night", "happy birthday",

  • "happy New Year", "congratulations". So greet people, and also wish them on the appropriate

  • days. The next one might seem obvious also, but

  • again, it's the way that you do it. Even if you work in an office, in the morning, we

  • can say: "Hey, good morning. How are you?" And when you ask: "How are you?" even though

  • you're not expected to give a full answer, but whatever answer someone gives you, remember

  • to listen. Don't start talking right away. Wait to hear if the other person is saying:

  • "Oh, pretty good. I'm fine. How are you?" Hear all of that before you start speaking

  • about your own disposition, your own state of mind. Okay? Listen to the answer. All right?

  • So these are six things that you must remember to do; they are taken for granted and they

  • are expected of you. Next: let's look at what you should do. This

  • seventh one here says: "Smile." Smiling creates a more friendly environment and it's certainly

  • expected. So try to do that, again, it doesn't mean you have to keep smiling, but when you

  • meet someone, give them a smile. If you don't smile, they might think that you're nervous,

  • they might think you're angry or unhappy about something. Okay? Or they might take it a little

  • bit aggressively. So try to smile, it makes the... It also gives people the message that

  • everything is okay, not just that you're happy to meet them, but that everything is fine

  • with you. So it says two things: something about you and something about the other person.

  • Next: shake hands. Now, that's usually in a more business-like situation; in an office

  • or somewhere, and certainly when you meet somebody for the first time. In an English

  • speaking environment, you are expected to shake hands and shake hands rather firmly.

  • Don't shake hands very weakly or just hold a part of the hand. Hold the entire hand and

  • shake it firmly. All right? That's, again, part of the office expectation and the business

  • norm. The next one is to remember to cover your

  • mouth. What do I mean? Not all the time, but if you need to yawn. What does it mean to

  • yawn? It's what you do when you're sleepy and... [yawn], right? We yawn. So when you

  • do that, if it happens and you're in a group or in a office or something like that, remember

  • to cover your mouth. You can cover it this way like this or some people cover it this

  • way. Okay? So cover your mouth. Also, if you're coughing, remember to cough aside. Okay? You

  • can do that. Actually, today, they teach us something quite different; they actually teach

  • us to cough here into the inside of your elbow like this. Why is that? Because if you cough

  • into your hand and then you go and shake hands with someone, you're passing your germs on

  • to that person. And people are very aware of that these days, so it's better not to

  • cough into your hand actually, but to cough here. Like that. Okay?

  • Next: remember to stand in line. In many parts of the world, there are different rules regarding

  • lines and in English speaking countries, generally people expect you to stand in line, not to

  • crowd around, not to get in front of somebody, not to look for a place and sneak in, but

  • in fact to check who's the last person in line and make sure that you stand behind them.

  • If you're not sure who's the last person in line because it's a bit of a confusing situation,

  • you can ask: "Who's last?" Okay? And stand behind that person. That is part of the etiquette

  • that is expected of you. Next one: this is "hold the door". What do

  • I mean by that? If you're going through a doorway, remember to hold the door behind

  • you. Don't just go through yourself and then let the door fall back against whoever is

  • behind you. No, hold the door, look back and check if there's someone there, hang on for

  • a second if they're still coming. And whether they say: "Thank you" or not, doesn't matter;

  • it's your job to hold the door. Try to do that, it makes for a much friendlier society,

  • a much more caring society. The last one is something that a lot of people

  • are not aware of because in different parts of the world space has different meanings.

  • In some cultures, it's perfectly acceptable to stand quite close to someone and that's,

  • you know, absolutely fine. In an English speaking environment, that's not really expected. Personal

  • space is respected more and expected. So when you meet someone, when you're standing for

  • example or when you're talking to someone, try to keep about an arm's length distance.

  • Okay? Not exactly, and of course, if it's very crowded you might stand a little closer.

  • But let's say it's an empty room, about an arm's length. Okay? This way or this way is

  • where you should stand when you're talking to someone. If you stand closer to them than

  • that. Okay? They're going to feel uncomfortable and you're probably going to find that they're

  • standing back, they're moving away and that's because you've come into their, you've crossed

  • their comfort zone. Their comfort zone is about this much. And if you get closer than

  • that, they might think you're trying to, - I don't know -, if you're... If it's a man and

  • a woman, they might think... They might think you're trying to get extra friendly or in

  • one way or the other they're going to feel uncomfortable. So remember to respect that

  • space if you're standing. The next thing is if you're sitting. What

  • do I mean by if you're sitting? Well, let's look at this. This is, what I've drawn on

  • the board, is like a sample of let's say a bus or a subway. So when you come, walk into

  • the subway, let's say you walk in from here. Now, if there's nobody there, of course if

  • it's empty you can sit wherever you want. So, but let's say you walk in, there's already

  • somebody sitting here. Where would you sit? Well, it's not okay, - if we follow the same

  • rule that people like to have their space -, it's not okay to go and sit here when there's

  • all this other extra space here. So probably the first person... If the first person was

  • sitting here, for example, next person might come and sit here. Again, it's not a rule

  • but it's kind of an informal rule that everybody understands. So the next person might sit

  • here because this is quite far away and, you know, no, no questions; not making anybody

  • feel uncomfortable. The next person might sit here. And then here. Okay? So, you see

  • that these spots will probably be occupied first. And then, what happens? Well, after

  • that, some people might just stand or then you start occupying the other spots next to

  • the people who were there. But you don't occupy a spot next to someone until there are no

  • other options left. Okay? This is not something that we talk about or that you might necessarily

  • see written in a book, but it is something that is done in effect. And if you don't do

  • that, people are going to wonder: "Who are you? What do you want? Are you being aggressive

  • or is there something bad going to happen here? Or are you trying to be too friendly?"

  • So remember to respect space. And now, as I promised you: one last critical

  • point. If you don't do this last thing, everything else you do here will probably not matter.

  • So this is very important and it has to do with...

  • body odor. Okay? What do I mean by that? I

  • mean that you need to make sure that you don't smell bad. All right? That means everything

  • from your mouth, so make sure you brush your teeth. If you've had something to eat which

  • is... which has some spices in it, make sure you use breath freshener. Otherwise, people

  • are going to feel uncomfortable around you. Moving from your mouth, down to your underarms:

  • make sure that you use deodorant or an antiperspirant. People are not accustomed to the smell of

  • sweat in North American societies or in English speaking societies. And if you sweat and it

  • smells, then people are going to avoid you. And they will not tell you because it's considered

  • rather rude to speak about those kind of things, however, they will talk about it probably

  • behind your back - which you really don't want - or you're just not going to have as

  • successful an experience in a social context or a business context. But that's the reason

  • why. So make sure you use deodorant or antiperspirant. Okay?

  • Next, considering your entire body: make sure you shower regularly. And the last thing is

  • also the clothes that you wear: make sure you wash them regularly and make sure if you

  • have been somewhere, for example: a club or a restaurant with a lot of smells, make sure

  • that your clothes don't keep that smell because clothes tend to hang on to certain smells.

  • For example: before you go for a job interview if someone in your house is cooking whether

  • it's your mom or a roommate or your girlfriend or your wife or someone or your boyfriend,

  • make sure you don't enter the kitchen, especially if they're cooking onions or something like

  • that because all that smell will stay on your clothes and then people are going to smell

  • that once you're outside of that environment. Right? So make sure that any kind of food,

  • smoke, tobacco, marijuana, alcohol; all these substances do cling or stick to our clothing,

  • so make sure that your clothing doesn't smell of any of that and make sure that you don't

  • smell anything but good. All right? Now, that doesn't mean to drench yourself in cologne

  • - no, don't do that. But make sure that you have a neutral smell, especially in an office

  • environment. And if you do that plus all of these things, you are going a very long way

  • to being successful in an English speaking environment.

  • Thanks very much for watching. If you enjoyed this video, please subscribe to my channel

  • on YouTube. And also, if you'd like to do a quiz to review some of these points, go

  • to our website: www.engvid.com. Thanks very much. Bye for now.

Hi, my name is Rebecca from www.engvid.com. In today's lesson, we will be talking about

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A2 english speaking smell cough people environment expected

Good Manners: What to Say and Do (Polite English)

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    Halu Hsieh posted on 2013/10/22
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