M.E.C. of safety and security.

True genius.

True comedic genius.

Like we all have our mentors and you know I look up to guys like him.

No because he came out after what happened was there was a funeral on the weekend.

And what happened was there was a lightning storm and lightning struck the people at the

funeral and nine people were killed instantly.

There's nothing funny about that.

Nine people dead, gone.

Nothing funny at all.

Although it must've been a bit weird because like, you know?

You're there because someone has died and then *lightning sound effects*

Then it's a bit awkward now.

You don't know if carry on here or do you? You don't know but it's a bit you don't

know and then you're like do you put them in because there's like cause you know there's

going to be like one uncle who's like "No there's space... put him.

I must buy another box?

nuh uh."

It's just like, you know what I mean?

And if you've got like one of those possessive mothers, you know those mothers that love their kids.

Probably then she's crying and then everyone's like *lightning sound effects* and then they're dead.

Then they're like "ahhh-" and she's like "Don't you dare!

Don't you cry for them.

You don't cry for them.

You came here for this.

You came here.

You save your tears and you cry where they- Hey!

Hey! HEY!

They're freshly dead you can cry for them next week.

You don't, you bring those tears here and-"

But there's nothing funny about it. And um...

And so what happened is on the Monday after the funeral.

MEC came out and he held a press conference and he was there the journalists had all gathered

and it was very serious.

And he came out there and the photographers and everyone was there and he said,

"We...

we have heard...

what have happened...

on that funeral.

And let it be known that...

we...

will launch a probe.

And we will not rest...

UNTIL we know...

where does this lightning come from?!"

Not rest.

His assistant was probably like "Up, up."

He was like, yes up, we want to know!

Where does it come from?!"

I didn't even make the joke he just said this!

I just repeated it to you!

We've become a culture of distrusting, angry people. That's who we are, everyone's angry.

Weird angriness as well. In places where it shouldn't be.

I was in Checkers the other day.

I'm just shopping. It's a normal experience, you know?

I get to the cashier and, those people are so angry.

Like, I don't know what Checkers does to their employees.

But they are clearly not enjoying it.

Because I get to the till, she doesn't greet me. She doesn't even look at me.

She just pushes the little conveyer belt thing.

All my groceries pull up, she's like.

*Sound of a grocery scanner beeping*

“Shhhh”

They look at you like your dad invented the bar-code.

*sound of buttons on a cash register*

*Sound of a grocery scanner beeping*

Then they look at you and ask you that question like you kill baby panda bears for a living.

“Plastic?”

“No, I am fine. Thank you.”

“No, I'll just hold it, I'll just, yea.”

“I'll just. No, no. Thank you, thank you.”

They're so angry.

And they look angry.

Because they've drawn they're eyebrows on.

And that permanent scowl.

I don't understand that trend it fashion, I am honest with you.

Why would you shave your eyebrows off?

and then draw them back on where they were?

It's weird, but I also commend it you know.

That level of commitment has to be commended.

Because I don't understand how anyone can commit to one expression for the entire day.

Like how do you choose that expression?

Do you just work on how you feel in the morning? Is that what you do?

You just wake up and be like, “I'm feeling angry!”

“Haaaaa!”

What if something good happens? Something good. You'd be like,

”Yea Temby, you won the Lotto.”

“Yay!”

“You don't look happy.”

“I just can't show it.”

“I'll draw it tomorrow.”

You guys, you guys love your sport out here I've never seen more focus put on sport anywhere else in the world

Americans love they're sport back to front

you analyze them you worship them

you watch the game before the game you watch the game after the game

you talk about what might happen in the game you talk about what's happening in the game

and then you talk about what happened in the game

and what could've and what might've but didn't happen in the game

it's just the craziest thing I've seen in my life

it's all about statistics have you seen sports in America?

non-stop. Guys come out there...

there's no time for smiles or anything just come out

and ladies and gentlemen welcome to it it's the 2012 Miami Heat

up against OKC this is the greatest final we've been waiting for in the NBA finals

LeBron James leading his team out here averaging 30 points

double double every single game. 10 points per game

Just in assists alone. this man is just something else

90 percent from the free throw line

he just gone in... He's statistically gotten better

his team coming in with more... Chris Bosh...

coming in with more assist really doing well in the last game

just like whaaa! whaaa!

numbers, numbers, numbers stats, stats, stats

you guys know everything every stat

well I mean he's got four out of five and I mean if you look at that statistic alone

it looks like he should be getting four

and then, and then, and then it's just crazy you know everything

and then you switch over to your business channels and your economy

and you're like what's happening in the economy this year Bob?

well nobody knows... I mean

Nobody knows.... Yeah!

Ha Ha Ha Ha

Uh

we thought the housing market was coming up but it wasn't

Ha Ha Ha Ha

but hey I mean that's the economy

you never know right?

you never know What about stocks?

Well I guess stocks, they're up and down

I don't really know they're up and down They could can go anywhere

Those are stocks We don't know

but the sports you know

you need to flip that around get the statistics in the economy

just relax on your sports Have fun

that's.... the sports I watch is relaxed... like soccer

I am a huge fan of soccer

Yea Oh there's some fans here

I love soccer. It's chilled.

you hear it in the commentators when the game is being played

there's no statistics at all

the game starts off the whistle blows

and welcome ladies and gentlemen

to this majestic match

it's Spain playing against Germany

Oh and what a wonderful day it is

look at the crowd really excited

oh and the atmosphere's amazing wonderful weather

And the guys just like "Oh yea John you can feel it. and the players look great"

it's wonderful

what do you think's going to happen today Martin

Oh nobody knows

I can't even remember the last time I saw a game this good

Americans will remember Americans will go back to the finest statistic

the last time a black man scored using his left hand jumping over a mixed-race half Indian

was in 1967 when the

Okay like what?

this is madness

I remember the worst encounter I had with the T.S.A. was out in Burbank, California.

Tiny little airport, I was flying out and I was coming to New York.

And so I am in Burbank airport and I go through security.

And for some reason I was beeping, I don't know why. I walked to the metal detector.

And I beep, go out, beep, go out, beep.

Every time I have to take something of off I go out I got a beep and the agent, he's just losing it.

The whole time he's like, “take it off, take it off”

And then the machine goes beep and he's like, “take that off, take that off!”

“take that off!”, and he's like getting more and more angry.

I am basically naked right now and he's losing it, losing it.

I felt like an under-performing stripper, it was horrible.

He's like, “take that, no, ahhh!”

And finally he's just like, “get out here, get out here!”