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  • Well, we are right in the middle of spring,

  • and this is when a lot of animals are mating.

  • I'm going to get right to it.

  • That's what I do.

  • I mean sure, some creatures mate year-round like lions,

  • and dolphins, and Kardashians.

  • But this is the busiest time for getting busy.

  • And we can really learn a lot from animals when

  • it comes to finding a mate.

  • Nowadays, people only know one way to find a mate,

  • and that's swiping right.

  • But before the show, we found out

  • there's someone in the audience who's single and wants to meet

  • someone, Steve Van Mierlo.

  • Where's Steve?

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • Hi.

  • Hi, how are you?

  • Not too shabby.

  • Oh good, good.

  • So who are you here with?

  • I'm here solo, unfortunately.

  • By yourself?

  • Yeah.

  • No, that's not unfortunately.

  • You're having fun, aren't you?

  • So much fun.

  • Oh good, OK.

  • And so you're looking to mate with someone?

  • I'm looking to fall in love, I'd say.

  • OK, well that goes along with mating.

  • You can do it in any order you want.

  • I don't really care.

  • It's not my business how you do it.

  • So where do you live, and what do you do?

  • I live in LA, actually.

  • I work about 10 minutes from here at a startup.

  • Oh, great, at a startup.

  • So maybe you're going to be very rich?

  • That's the plan.

  • No, say yes, I will.

  • Yes, I will.

  • Yes.

  • Step up here.

  • You're pulling me away from my light.

  • Can't have that.

  • All right, so Steve, since you're going to be very wealthy

  • and this is a great platform for you to attract a mate,

  • I'm going to give you some tips from the animal world because--

  • Oh, awesome.

  • --because they work.

  • We know that for sure.

  • That's why they do it.

  • Because they don't do it going, I

  • wonder if this is going to work.

  • It has just worked from the beginning of time.

  • OK.

  • The mighty peacock.

  • Let's look at the mighty peacock.

  • Take a look at this.

  • This is what the peacock does.

  • The males, by the way, all male birds

  • are brighter than females.

  • They have the color to attract, and they

  • have their bright feathers, and they attract the females.

  • It's called peacocking, and that's

  • why they spread their feathers like that.

  • People think it's for different reasons.

  • It's actually to attract a mate.

  • So let me get you a peacock coat.

  • Andy?

  • Love it.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • All right, we got that from the P.F. Chang's restaurant.

  • We just took that off the wall.

  • They'll want that back.

  • All right, this is the wire-crested thorntail

  • hummingbird, and this is what it does.

  • Look how impressive that is.

  • It goes back and forth and swings its long tail

  • back and forth to attract the female.

  • It whips its tail back and forth because it

  • signals it's fit, because it's actually harder

  • to carry around a large tail.

  • Tell me about it.

  • Andy, they bring out the tail.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • Thank you.

  • Let him handle it.

  • He knows how to tie it.

  • All right, good.

  • All right, let's see you whip it around.

  • Yeah, whip it around.

  • OK, good.

  • And the peacock to it.

  • Yeah, and whip, and whip.

  • Yeah, OK, good.

  • All right.

  • Here's what the Hooded seal does to attract a mate.

  • OK, that is not turning me on.

  • I got to-- no, no.

  • But let's give it a try.

  • OK.

  • Let's puff up your cheeks and see- no, that's not enough.

  • That's not working.

  • Andy, he needs bigger cheeks.

  • OK.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • Whip the tail.

  • All right, all right, all right.

  • Stop it.

  • You're turning me on.

  • Finally, here is the peacock spider.

  • [MUSIC - WRECKX N EFFECT - RUMP SHAKER] All I wanna do is

  • zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom and a-boom-boom.

  • Just shake your rump.

  • All I wanna do is zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom

  • and a-boom--boom.

  • Just shake your rump.

  • All I wanna do is zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom

  • and a-boom-boom.

  • Just shake your rump.

  • Now, here's the weird thing.

  • We didn't even add music.

  • That music comes out in this spider while it does that.

  • All right, it impresses the female

  • by rigorously shaking his rump, so now you're

  • going to put all that together.

  • You're going to peacock, you're going to spread your wings,

  • you're going to whip the tail, and you're

  • going to shake your rump.

  • Let's do it.

  • All right, try it.

  • [WHIP CRACKS]

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • How many single ladies are turned on right

  • now in the audience?

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • You know what?

  • That was my problem, my fault, for limiting to single ladies.

  • It should have been married ladies, men, anybody.

  • It should have been--

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • Good luck to you.

  • I hope you find a mate, and as you dance back to your seat,

  • let's see who you attract.

  • Go right ahead.

  • [MUSIC - WRECKX N EFFECT - RUMP SHAKER] All I wanna do is

  • zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom and a-boom-boom.

  • Just shake your rump.

  • All I wanna do is zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom

  • and a-boom-boom.

  • Just shake your rump.

  • All I wanna do is zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom

  • and a-boom-boom.

  • Just shake your rump.

  • All I wanna do is zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom

  • and a-boom-boom.

  • Just shake your rump.

  • Check baby check baby one two, three four.

  • Check baby, check baby, one, two, three.

  • All right.

  • She's trying to adjust your tail.

  • All right, you're down.

  • Hey listen, any ladies out there watching,

  • contact us if you're interested in Steve

  • and we will get you in touch with Steve.

  • Because what a great guy that he actually just went along

  • with that.

  • So that alone.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • You can take the face off now, because I

  • feel that that's not fair.

Well, we are right in the middle of spring,

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