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  • If you guys wouldn't mind, I just like to write out my weekly Thank You Notes right now.

  • Is that cool with you guys?

  • You guys are the best.

  • You guys are much better than Thursday's audience.

  • James, can I get some Thank You Note-writing music, please?

  • He wore that on Thursday.

  • We wore the same outfit on Thursday.

  • Why would he wear the same outfit on Thursday?

  • Is he on a budget?

  • A little Easter egg for you.

  • Thank you, Omarosa, for claiming that President Trump drinks at least eight cans of Diet Coke a day, which raises the question, just how many is Rudy Giuliani drinking?

  • Thank you, champagne corks.

  • For letting me kick off every celebration by risking the lives of everyone around me.

  • My eye!

  • Thank you, Pillsbury Doughboy, for being the only time I trust a guy with my food who is totally nude from the neck down.

  • Poke it, go ahead, poke it.

  • Why is your voice so deep?

  • Poke me.

  • What?

  • Poke me.

  • Stop saying it like that.

  • Just poke me!

  • Stop saying it like that!

  • Got buns in my oven.

  • I didn't even poke you.

  • Thank you, traffic circles.

  • I'm going to be honest, I have no clue how you work, so I'm just going to keep driving and hope for the best.

  • It's like, I don't know.

  • Don't hit me, don't hit me, don't hit me, don't hit me, don't hit me, don't hit me.

  • Thank you, bug spray, for sort of keeping bugs away and definitely keeping humans away, because I smell like a chemical explosion.

  • Thank you, people who shop for gifts at the airport.

  • It's nice to know you thought of me somewhere between the TSA line and Chili's 2.

  • Thank you, phone chargers, for being available in two lengths, 6 inches too short or 40 feet too long.

  • It's like, come on.

  • Coffee table! Come on, figure it out, folks.

  • Is that's the last one?

  • What's that?

  • Is that the last Thank You Note?

  • That is the last for tonight, yeah.

  • It's the last.

  • That's the last one for tonight, all right.

  • I just wanted to know, wanted to make sure.

  • Didn't want to rush you.

  • Yeah, don't rush me, I appreciate it.

  • No, I wanted to make sure you had plenty of time.

  • Just so you'd enjoy yourself.

  • So you want me to enjoy myself?

  • I just wanted to make sure that you, you know, 'cause they're emotional.

  • They're from you.

  • Guys, this is the final Thank You Note.

  • The final Thank You Note.

  • The final Thank You Note.

  • I will write it here.

  • I'll lick it there.

  • I'll send it anywhere.

  • Because I care.

  • Just kidding.

  • I still care.

  • Whoa, whoa, whoa.

  • Still care.

  • Whoo!

  • Thank you, accidentally trying to twist open a bottle that isn't twist-off.

  • It's okay, I didn't need that finger-skin anyway.

  • There you go, everybody.

  • Those are my Thank You Notes!

If you guys wouldn't mind, I just like to write out my weekly Thank You Notes right now.

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