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  • Watch_Dogs is the sequel to Sleeping Dogs.

  • It's very advanced, because the game is spelled with an underscore between "watch" and "dogs."

  • Ubisoft Montreal, the company responsible for

  • the Holocaust

  • and the Splinter Cell series

  • tries their hand at combining those two games into Grand Theft Auto.

  • Now think back when Watch_Dogs was supposed to be released next to GTAV.

  • [ cackles ]

  • Now I know what you guys are sayin'.

  • "Man, Dunkey, you don't like any games!"

  • But that's not true.

  • There are seven good games.

  • The shooting in Watch_Dogs is very satisfying,

  • because I bought a PlayStation 4 to play Watch_Dogs.

  • At least I can always go back to Knack.

  • Did you know that the driving in this game was developed

  • by a gay rattlesnake,

  • Fabio Enchilada?

  • The driving physics are like this, pretty much.

  • Actually no, they're more like this, I think.

  • This really sums it up.

  • Actually, it's kind of...

  • kind of like that -

  • There's like a hundred car chases in this game

  • and the driving is just not finished.

  • Eh, I'm a fucking cop I can shoot anybody!

  • Get the hell out of my way, you other cop!

  • I'm a fucking cop look at this shit!

  • WHEE

  • [ imitating car noises ]

  • Yeah, I'm right back on you! I'm a fucking cop!

  • The game is developed by 1,500 people who write computer code for a living.

  • That's why the hacking is so accurate and realistic, like this.

  • The biggest problem in Watch_Dogs: it's trying to tell the least interesting story in a video game to date.

  • Ubisoft, give it up.

  • Give up on trying to tell a story in a video game.

  • You cannot do it.

  • You are not capable

  • except

  • for Shaun White Snowboarding. What an excellent -

  • SHAUN WHITE is an extreme snarf boarder,

  • living it up in Beverly Hills,

  • snorting coke

  • and fucking whores.

  • Until one day, his whole life is flipped upside down when he falls in love with

  • a gay rattlesnake.

  • [ making noises ]

  • This is the most fun I've had in this stupid ass game.

  • Wait a minute!

  • They got a fun game in this game?

  • Hey man, Hey.

  • Checkmate! [ laughs ]

  • All right, my work here is done. I'll see you guys at the bar -

  • The story is actually a lot more exciting if you just skip all the cutscenes.

  • All right this is fucking boring, this is-

  • What?! The house is on fire -

  • There's a guy over there? Shoot him!

  • Who's this woman?

  • My house gonna blow, we gotta get out -

  • Oh my god... These people are so boring...

  • Who gives a shit -

  • OH MY GOD

  • HOW DID I GET HERE

  • WHAT IS HAPPENING

  • [ groaning ] Who cares?

  • No one cares about any of this!

  • Aaaand skip it!

  • [ Super Mario Sunshine music plays ] Waaait a minute!

  • Why am I a monkey in an oval?

  • This isn't even the right music!

Watch_Dogs is the sequel to Sleeping Dogs.

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B1 US cop fucking rattlesnake shaun ubisoft driving

Watch Dogs (dunkview)

  • 28 1
    wei posted on 2018/12/05
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