Scout: Move Cyclops, move!

Come on, come on, almost - aaahh!

Uhh, awww.

[Missles whistling.]

Woah, who the?

[Explosion!]

Aaaahh!!

[Hard impact, glass breaks. Dove coos]

Medic.

[Team Fortress intro theme music]

Medic [OS]: Wait, wait, wait – it gets better.

Medic [OS]: When the patient woke up, his skeleton was missing…

…and the doctor was never heard from again! Ah, ha ha!

[Heavy laughs loudly]

Ah, anyway…

…that’s how I lost my medical license. Heh.

[Squish noise. Dove coos.]

Archimedes, no!

It’s filthy in there. Uck.

Birds, ha ha ha.

Now, most hearts couldn’t withstand this voltage,

but I’m fairly certain your heart…

[Small explosion, fleshy impact and breaking glass.]

What was noise?

The sound of progress, my friend.

Medic [OS]: Ah, perfect.

Kill me.

Medic [OS]: Later.

Where was I? Ah, there we go.

Come on, come on.

[Maniacal laughter.]

[Worried laughter.]

Oh, that looks good.

Very nice there.

Should I be awake for this?

Ah heh. Well, no.

But as long as you are, could you hold your rib cage open a bit?

I can’t… seem…

Ahh!!

Oh, don’t be such a baby,

…ribs grow back!

No they don’t.

[Angelic music, healing noises.]

[Deep inhale.] What happens now?

Now? Hmm, hmm, hmm.

Let’s go practice medicine.

[Marching music.]

[Choir, harps.]

[Battle sounds.]

Medic!

[Music intensifies. Healing noise.]

[Ding!]

Yeah!

Woo hoo hoo!

Oh yeah!

Heavy [OS]: Doctor!

Are you sure this will work!?

Ha ha, I have no idea!

[Power-up, electrical noises.]

Yah! Ha ha!

Ha ha ha! I am bulletproof!

[Music crescendos – horns, guitar, choir.]

[Team Fortress closing theme music.]

[Engy plays guitar.]

Medic [OS]: That looks good. Very nice there.

Scout [OS]: Hey, thanks doc.

[Ding!]

Aw, man.

You would not believe how much this hurts.

[Muffled dove coos.]

Medic [OS]: Archimedes?