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  • ( "Deck the halls" by Bing Crosby plays )

  • Stephen: gah!

  • Last night I dreamt I was visited by three ghosts!

  • There they are!

  • (laughter) what day is it?

  • What day is it!?

  • ♪ ♪ ♪

  • Oh, what a beautiful morning!

  • Say there-- boy!

  • What?

  • Are you talking to me?

  • (laughter) Stephen: yes, you, boy!

  • I'm 37 years old.

  • (laughter) Stephen: wonderful boy.

  • Charming boy.

  • Tell me, boy: what day is it today?

  • It's monday, the day before the midterms.

  • Stephen: that means the ghosts all came in one night!

  • Of course they did.

  • I haven't missed the election.

  • There's still time to vote.

  • Here, boy.

  • Take this shiny silver crown and go buy the biggest midterms'

  • Goose you can find!

  • (laughter) Do you know I can see up your

  • Nightgown, right?

  • (laughter) Stephen: And up it for some

  • Midterms' figgy pudding.

  • (applause) Look, seriously dude, you

  • have to put on some briefs.

  • I-- I can see all the election returns, and they're swinging Left.

  • (laughter and applause) Stephen: oh, the midterms!

  • Oh, the midterms!

  • Wondrous boy, wondrous boy.

  • The midterms!

  • Dude, let me be clear!

  • I can see your entire penis!

  • (laughter) ♪ ♪ ♪

  • Jon: yeah!

  • Stephen: is that the jolly tune of midterms' carols I hear?

  • No, it sounds like Jon Batiste.

  • Stephen: Right it is.

  • That means I have a show to do!

  • Again, you really need to put on pants.

  • Stephen: No time!

( "Deck the halls" by Bing Crosby plays )

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