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  • okay okay Roger was creepy but he was nothing compared to Pete Carney.

  • Which one was Pete Carney?

  • Pete the Weeper. Remember the guy that used to cry every

  • time we had sex?

  • Oh, was it good for you?

  • yeah well I take a little crying any day over Howard

  • the "I Win" guy. I win! I win!

  • I went out with the guy for two months, I didn't get to win once.

  • How do we end up

  • with these jerks? We're good people!

  • I don't know. Maybe we're like some kind of magnets.

  • I know I am that's why I can't wear a digital watch.

  • there's more beer, right?

  • Oh you know my friend Abby who shaves her head? She says that if you

  • want to break the bad boyfriend cycle you can do like a cleansing ritual.

  • Pheebs this woman is voluntarily bald.

  • Yeah! So, we can do it tomorrow night you guys.

  • It's Valentine's Day, it's perfect.

  • Okay

  • well what kind of ritual?

  • Okay we can, we can burn the stuff they gave us.

  • Or?

  • Or...

  • Or we can chant and dance around naked you know with sticks

  • Burnings good. Burning is good.

  • Okay so now we need sage branches and the sacramental wine.

  • All I had is oregano and a fresca.

  • Um... that's okay

  • All right now we need the semen of a righteous man.

  • Okay Pheebs you know what if we had that we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place.

  • Can we just start throwing things in?

  • Yeah okay okay

  • Okay, Barry's letters, Adam Ritter's boxer shorts.

  • And I have the receipt for my dinner with no Kalulu...

  • Hey, look there's a picture of Scottie Jared naked.

  • Oh let me see!

  • Hey he's wearing a sweater.

  • No...

  • Ew!

  • okay and here we have the last of Paolo's grappa.

  • Rachel isn't it almost pure...?

  • What do we got there?

  • A piece of soaked boxer shorts, greeting cards. Looks like a half-charred picture of...

  • Wow, that guy's hairier than the chief

  • It's a really funny story how this happened.

  • It's alright, it's alright. You don't have to explain. This isn't the first boyfriend bonfire that we've seen get

  • out of control.

  • You're a third call tonight.

  • Really?

  • Oh sure Valentine's is our busiest night of the year.

  • But we get off around midnight why don't we pick up then?

  • Ok, great!

  • So, will you bring the truck?

  • I'll even let you ring the bell. We'll see you later! Bye! See ya! Oh my God!

  • See? There you go. The Cleansing worked!

  • You're right! They're nice guys!

  • They're firemen guys!

  • You guy tell them you were married?

  • No way. You kidding? My girlfriend doesn't know, no way I'm gonna tell them.

okay okay Roger was creepy but he was nothing compared to Pete Carney.

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