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And I now I thought I'd share some of my favorite
"worst first date" stories from you guys.
This first one's from @jordancohen2u.
She says...
I was really into this guy, but I was so nervous on our first date that when he told me, "You smell good,"
I replied, "Thanks, I use both of my nostrils."
This one's from @annabanana0626.
She says...
I was walking ahead of him and got into the car parked out front before he could open the door for me.
He knocked on the window and yelled through the glass, "This isn't my car!"
"It's a Mercedes Benz. I kind of like it."
"Whose car is this?"
I'll wait.
This one's from @foreversmiling2.
She says...
On my first date, and my first time at a sushi place, I decided to order thirteen rolls.
I thought "rolls" meant individual pieces of sushi. The servers had to push two tables together just to hold them all.
"13 rolls of sushi."
"Well, whatever you say.
Bring 'em -- keep bringing 'em."
"I've been here before."
This one's from @snookicookie16.
She says...
At the end of the night, he acted like he was going in for a kiss,
then put his whole mouth over my nose and blew into it.
He laughed and said he does it to his dogs and calls it a "puppy trumpet."
Puppy trumpet.
Puppy trumpet.
What a garbage person.
It's my puppy trumpet, man.
It said the end of the night, at the end of the date,
it was the ol' puppy trumpet.
This one's from @Hotovy. Hotovy?
He says...
The first time I met my wife, she was convinced there were 52 states in the U.S.
When I suggested there were only 50 states, she called her brother, who confirmed that there were in fact 52 states.
- Never gonna win. - They're married!
-You're never gonna win, dude. -He's married.
-He learned his lesson early. -Exactly, yeah.
This one's from @PatrickAH81.
He says...
I once spilled soda on my crotch while pulling into my date's driveway.
My first words when she answered the door were, "It's not pee."
I'm clean. It's not pee.
- Yeah, not pee. - All right, well, what is it?
It's a little bit of poop.
This one's from @lindachilders1.
She said...
A friend once set me up on a blind date.
I wasn't in a great mood because I had received a traffic ticket a few hours before.
My day got worse when my blind date turned out to be the cop who gave me the ticket.
-Oh! -What!
I know you! That's fate!
That's fate!
Oh, my goodness.
This one's from @Mfonda.
She says...
On our first date, the guy choked on an omelet and blew an onion out of his nose.
He could have used the puppy trumpet.
That's what you use it for, man.
Yeah, that's what you got to get there.
That's what you use it for, yeah.
Next one is from our very own Questlove.
This is very interesting here.
He says...
I had dinner with Rosario Dawson, and let Mos Def and his bros crash the party.
Mos casually order her a $500 birthday cake. It wasn't her birthday.
The bill came to $1400. I didn't have $1400.
That was it? That was it?
That was it.
There's only 280 characters. I couldn't go on.
Have you ever tried to go on a second date, or no?
I didn't get a second date, no.
Rosario -- we got to bring this up when she comes on.
That's the greatest --
Tariq, you have a worst first date story?
No, all my first dates, they went swimmingly.
-Swimmingly -- swimmingly.
Last one here is from @ash10g.
She says...
We had a mini makeout, then he fist bumped me and said, "Nice work."
There you have it.
Those are our "Tonight Show Hashtags."
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go to tonightshow.com/hashtags.
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Hashtags: #WorstFirstDate

2851 Folder Collection
Evangeline published on November 24, 2018    Clément translated    Evangeline reviewed
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