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  • Homer Simpson isn't just a cartoon character.

  • He is, officially, one of the most influential people of the modern era.

  • And he's also a pretty horrible human being.

  • For over 30 years, Homer's been abusing his kids, lying to his wife, and causing all kinds

  • of mayhem as a result.

  • Hey, we love the guy, but the citizens of Springfield probably lost their affection

  • for Homer Simpson long ago.

  • Especially after he did all these things.

  • The Maude mishap

  • Maude Flanders' demise via T-shirt cannon is arguably the most shocking and callous

  • end in The Simpsons' long and storied history.

  • In "Alone Again, Natura-Diddily," the Flanders and Simpsons families visit the local racetrack,

  • and Homer becomes obsessed with the cheerleaders' T-shirt cannons.

  • Like, really obsessed.

  • First, he takes off his own shirt, trying to get the cheerleaders' attention.

  • Next, he paints a bull's-eye on his chest.

  • Given Homer's size, that would be an easy targetand the cheerleaders let a barrage

  • of T-shirts fly straight at him.

  • And then...

  • And that's the end of the line for poor Maude, who didn't do anything wrong aside from crossing

  • paths with Homer Simpson one too many times.

  • Celebrity send-off

  • Technically, The Simpsons' annual Treehouse of Horror episodes aren't canonical, which

  • gives the show's writers plenty of room to stretch their creative muscles and go crazy.

  • But even by normal standards, the 2009 Treehouse of Horror segment "How to Get Ahead in DEAD-Vertising"

  • is extra-creepy.

  • The episode begins as a Mad Men parody but quickly descends into a dark story in which

  • Homer hunts down superstars for money.

  • Homer starts by accidentally pushing Krusty the Clown into a woodchipper.

  • And then he accepts money from advertising executives to drown George Clooney in cement,

  • to strangle Prince with his own guitar, and to brain Neil Armstrong with a golf club.

  • If only Homer's non-imaginary adventures weren't also totally nuts...

  • Framing Marge

  • If you ask die-hard Simpsons fans to recommend Homer's overall lowest moment, most of them

  • will probably point you to "Co-Dependent's Day," a Season 15 episode that chronicles

  • Marge's struggle with alcoholism.

  • Homer, of course, has been a beer-guzzling booze hound since the very beginning.

  • But in "Co-Dependent's Day," he enables Marge's addiction.

  • First he takes her to Moe's, then they go to an Oktoberfest celebration.

  • But the worst moment?

  • That comes when Homer, plastered from the beer festival, tries to drive home and ends

  • up flipping the car.

  • When the police arrive, he frames Marge, who's even more drunk than he is.

  • Marge goes to jail for driving under the influence, and later checks into a rehab facility.

  • Homer, meanwhile, doesn't face a single consequence.

  • Now that's Homer's style of justice.

  • Vegas vows

  • As the saying goes, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas"— unless you're Homer Simpson.

  • In the episode "Viva Ned Flanders" Homer takes Ned to Vegas for a night of crazy fun.

  • When they wake up from their booze-soaked all-nighter, they're married to their waitresses from the night before.

  • So they flee back to Springfield and forget about their second wives...for about three seasons.

  • In "Brawl in the Family," the two cocktail waitresses track down their husbands.

  • After a judge refuses to annul Homer's marriage to Amber, he takes matters into his own hands

  • and gets the woman drunk.

  • When Amber wakes up, she's married to Homer's dad.

  • Horrified Amber takes off for Vegas as soon as possible.

  • It's a funny way to turn the tables...until you actually think about it for, like, two seconds.

  • That's pretty creepy, Homer.

  • Kidney failure

  • In the Season 10 episode "Kidney Trouble," we all learn a valuable lesson: Homer's an

  • even bigger jerk than we thought.

  • In the first half of the episode, Homer causes his dad Abe's kidneys to explode...because

  • he doesn't want to stop to let him use the bathroom.

  • The doctor tells Abe he's a goner without a transplant, and fortunately, Homer is an

  • exact match.

  • Less fortunately...well, it's Homer.

  • While Homer agrees to donate a kidney, he takes off just before the surgery, leaving

  • his father alone and in pain.

  • Abe only gets the life-saving organ he needs after Homer gets hit by a car and knocked

  • unconscious, giving Doctor Hibbert time to steal Homer's kidney and complete the procedure.

  • Homer the henchman

  • Homer Simpson has had many, many jobs, but he's only been good at one.

  • Unfortunately, that happened to be when he was working for Hank Scorpio, a straight-up

  • supervillain.

  • This is Homer we're talking about, of course, and he doesn't ever actually notice that Scorpio

  • is really a criminal mastermind.

  • He's too busy doing literally anything else to realize that he's helping Scorpio conquer

  • the world.

  • "I'm having some trouble with the government."

  • "Awwwthose jerks always walking over the small businessman."

  • Even worse, Homer doesn't notice that his family is absolutely miserable in Scorpio's

  • compound until it's too late.

  • Eventually, he comes around, and Scorpio lets Homer return to Springfieldbut not before

  • Scorpio's forces manage to conquer the East Coast.

  • Good job, Homer.

  • They couldn't have done it without you.

  • Neighborly wish

  • Homer has gone out of his way to make Flanders' life miserable plenty of times, but what he

  • does in the Season 3 episode "When Flanders Failed" might take the cake.

  • At a backyard barbecue, Flanders announces that he's quitting his job to open his own

  • store, the Leftorium.

  • So, naturally, Homer uses the powers of a wishboneto wish for Ned's business to fail.

  • It works.

  • The Leftorium goes out of business, Ned's house is repossessed, and the Flanderses are

  • forced to move into their car.

  • Sure, Homer eventually saves Ned from bankruptcy, but Ned never would've been in trouble in

  • the first place if Homer hadn't been such a jerk.

  • But that's Homer for ya!

  • "When he's least expecting it, bash his head in with a chair."

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Homer Simpson isn't just a cartoon character.

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The Dark Truth Of Homer Simpson

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    robert posted on 2018/07/17
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