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  • I'm about to enter the West Bank

  • and as you can see from this sign

  • Israelis are not allowed to enter.

  • This is a Palestinian zone.

  • My Israeli crew that's been with me for a few days

  • must remain behind

  • and I'm gonna switch over to an all Palestinian crew.

  • So it's like this court ordered custody fight

  • where I'm leaving one divorced parent

  • to go stay with another divorced parent

  • and both parents don't really like me.

  • Oh, I wanna buy it.

  • Oh, that's so nice of you, thank you.

  • That's nice, he just gave this to me,

  • that's very nice.

  • I'll be back in five minutes to take more for free.

  • (audience laughs)

  • What is your name?

  • My name is Sami.

  • Sami, Sami, okay, alright.

  • Sami, where are you from?

  • You live-

  • Yes, I'm from Bethlehem. Oh, from Bethlehem.

  • Yes, I live here, I work here, I'm born here,

  • I married here also.

  • Wow. Yes.

  • What do you have here?

  • I have some coffee

  • and I have also very delicious tea.

  • This coffee looks very, very strong.

  • Yes, very strong as you

  • King of the jungle.

  • No, you got me mixed up with someone else.

  • I'm Conan, meek and mild.

  • This was all sugar.

  • Oh my god, oh that is very strong.

  • No wonder you are so hah.

  • You drink a lot of this? Yes.

  • Yes, yes, you seem a little crazy.

  • (laughs) You're crazy in the head.

  • This is for you, I put this right in here, okay?

  • You are very kind.

  • I am very kind but you were very nice.

  • You are very kind. Oh, do I kiss you too, okay.

  • You are very heavy- But not the lips, right?

  • Well, if you want, come.

  • (audience laughs)

  • (audience cheering)

  • My heart is like my face.

  • (laughs)

  • Thank you.

  • What's good dancing music, for dancing?

  • He's good?

  • This man show me how to dance,

  • how do I dance?

  • I got it.

  • This is it, look at this now.

  • Do you like this?

  • (audience laughs)

  • He's gone, where did he go?

  • He stopped, I guess I win.

  • I want to buy something,

  • I haggle with you.

  • How much for this?

  • 700 shekels- Yes.

  • is bullshit,

  • I give you 200 shekels.

  • I saw one just down the street

  • that looks just like this.

  • 450 shekels is bullshit.

  • (laughs)

  • I give you 500 shekels.

  • I give you 390 shekels.

  • Okay. Yes?

  • Yes. Yeah, I did it.

  • I haggled.

  • (audience cheering)

  • Carrots?

  • Okay, how much?

  • Yeah, one.

  • I just bought this

  • but I don't have what goes in.

  • What goes in here?

  • What is this?

  • You know what, I'm gonna do watermelon and mint.

  • I like that.

  • This is like watching my dad do the Christmas lights

  • back in the 70s, except you're not swearing

  • and kicking things.

  • Okay, what this gentleman is telling me is

  • that this hookah is no good.

  • It's decorative, it doesn't work.

  • It's not meant to work.

  • This is bad, the whole thing no good.

  • My fault, right?

  • I bought a decorative hookah.

  • Learn from my mistake.

  • Next time you're in the West Bank,

  • look out for this guy.

  • I like this guy

  • but he doesn't make it clear

  • that he's selling you a decorative hookah

  • and not a functioning hookah.

  • Alright, alright, alright.

  • Go for it, Sami.

  • That is some fine watermelon and mint.

  • Okay, he's high on watermelon.

I'm about to enter the West Bank

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