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- Ned, do you masturbate?
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(screams)
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I don't want to know!
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- Masturbation.
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- Masturbation.
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- How is it different when you're
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married versus, when you're single?
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You make videos about this all the time!
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- [Both] All the time!
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- What's your jerking off history like?
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- Well you know, as a teenager
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I experimented, did it a lot.
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- I kind of did it so much that
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as a child my mom told me to stop.
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She was like, don't do that so much,
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because your vagina's gonna fall off
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if you do it too much.
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- Will your vagina fall off, if you masturbate too much?
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- No 'cause I still got it!
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- Nice, checks out, checks out.
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- Yeah.
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- When is the last time that you masturbated?
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- One, two, three, last night.
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- I can't remember.
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(laughing)
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- Really?
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When your wife leaves, is your first thought?
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- Immediate, no.
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(laughing)
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- I have a roommate.
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- Sure.
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- And the second my roommate is
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out the door, my pants are off.
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(laughs)
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But I feel with marriage, you have
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someone there to help you through those times.
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- If you want to masturbate, and your
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partner's like you know, doesn't want
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to have sex, then sometimes you know,
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it's a group activity, know what I'm saying?
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- Oh, my God!
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Okay, I can support that.
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There are all kinds of ways to masturbate.
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It doesn't just have to be with your hand,
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or with a toy, like do some weird googling
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kids, just make sure to set your browser to private.
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- Number of times in a week that you masturbate?
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- [Both] One, two, three.
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- Seven!
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- Zero point five.
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- Porn?
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- Oh yeah.
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- How has that changed since you got married?
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- Sometimes we watch porn together.
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- Good for you guys!
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I have to watch porn, because
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I don't have anyone to imagine really.
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Single persons masturbation kit,
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looks a little something like this.
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A vibrator of some sort, my cell phone
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'cause gotta watch porn somehow.
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- True.
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- And me.
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- Sometimes all you need is your 'ol right hand.
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(slapping)
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(laughing)
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- Point is, masturbate, do it.
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- And if you have a partner, talk
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about it with them, or do it together.
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If you're masturbating right now.
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We get it.
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- I don't blame you like hello.
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(laughing)
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Duh.