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  • - Ned, do you masturbate?

  • (screams)

  • I don't want to know!

  • - Masturbation.

  • - Masturbation.

  • - How is it different when you're

  • married versus, when you're single?

  • You make videos about this all the time!

  • - [Both] All the time!

  • - What's your jerking off history like?

  • - Well you know, as a teenager

  • I experimented, did it a lot.

  • - I kind of did it so much that

  • as a child my mom told me to stop.

  • She was like, don't do that so much,

  • because your vagina's gonna fall off

  • if you do it too much.

  • - Will your vagina fall off, if you masturbate too much?

  • - No 'cause I still got it!

  • - Nice, checks out, checks out.

  • - Yeah.

  • - When is the last time that you masturbated?

  • - One, two, three, last night.

  • - I can't remember.

  • (laughing)

  • - Really?

  • When your wife leaves, is your first thought?

  • - Immediate, no.

  • (laughing)

  • - I have a roommate.

  • - Sure.

  • - And the second my roommate is

  • out the door, my pants are off.

  • (laughs)

  • But I feel with marriage, you have

  • someone there to help you through those times.

  • - If you want to masturbate, and your

  • partner's like you know, doesn't want

  • to have sex, then sometimes you know,

  • it's a group activity, know what I'm saying?

  • - Oh, my God!

  • Okay, I can support that.

  • There are all kinds of ways to masturbate.

  • It doesn't just have to be with your hand,

  • or with a toy, like do some weird googling

  • kids, just make sure to set your browser to private.

  • - Number of times in a week that you masturbate?

  • - [Both] One, two, three.

  • - Seven!

  • - Zero point five.

  • - Porn?

  • - Oh yeah.

  • - How has that changed since you got married?

  • - Sometimes we watch porn together.

  • - Good for you guys!

  • I have to watch porn, because

  • I don't have anyone to imagine really.

  • Single persons masturbation kit,

  • looks a little something like this.

  • A vibrator of some sort, my cell phone

  • 'cause gotta watch porn somehow.

  • - True.

  • - And me.

  • - Sometimes all you need is your 'ol right hand.

  • (slapping)

  • (laughing)

  • - Point is, masturbate, do it.

  • - And if you have a partner, talk

  • about it with them, or do it together.

  • If you're masturbating right now.

  • We get it.

  • - I don't blame you like hello.

  • (laughing)

  • Duh.

- Ned, do you masturbate?

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Married Vs. Single: Masturbation

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    Howard Lin posted on 2018/05/08
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