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Dear God, what's happening to me?
There's...
I feel like there's nothing left of me.
What in the world is going on?
This has absolutely nothing to do
with what I am like, with anything
at all that's important about me.
Don't they know that everything
in this book is just as true
of of of of my neighbor Gene
as it is of me?
Heh.
My neighbor Gene
who makes jokes
about starving children in Asia.
My neighbor Gene
who boasts
about fucking colleagues in the office
on the board room table.
Don't they know that?
One of the guards holds my arms
behind my back, the other one starts
hitting me in the face with his fists.
He hits me in the face several times,
then in the chest, then in the stomach
No one in my life has ever
hit me before.
I'm thinking about the damage
each blow might do, and a little bit
of blood is coming out of my mouth.
And there's another guard,
a woman whose face is like
a cake that's been soaked in rage.
She's standing to the side
and my cries are echoing in the cell
"No!"
"Nooo!"
And then she comes up to me
and she spits in my face.
And I'm screaming out at her
"For God's sake, what have I done
to make you feel like this?
What in the world
have I done to you?"