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- Oh no.
(deep bell ring)
This creepy guy keeps messaging me.
- Ugh, what is he saying.
- He said, "I'm going to kill myself if you don't respond,"
and then he just wrote, "Marry me," like a thousand times.
- Gross, I never know what to say with guys like that.
(ding)
- You should just friend him.
I do that with the women who reach out to me online,
and we usually just have a nice chat,
hey maybe even a date or two.
- Oh ho ho, you dog.
(suspenseful door slam)
- Yeah, I guess I don't want to interact with him further,
and I definitely don't want to meet him in person.
- What?
It's great meeting new people; you should try it.
You know, I love going to bars by myself
just to meet new people.
- That's fun.
- I would never go to a bar alone.
Oh my gosh, it's so much safer in a group,
especially if you're drinking.
- Absolutely.
And I don't wanna get roofied.
I have three friends who have been and it's terrifying.
- Yes, I get that.
One time I roofied myself,
just to see what the high would be like.
Honestly, not a fan.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- I don't know why anyone would choose to do that.
- I just like having cool experiences.
- We like to have cool experiences too;
we're just gonna avoid bars unless we're with people.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bars are overrated.
Now, you know what I love?
Taking long walks alone at night.
- Oh, no.
- The later the better.
I do my best thinking done then.
- I'd be clutching my phone the entire time.
- Oh no.
Now, you leave your phone at home.
That way you don't look at Facebook or Instagram.
You'd be in the moment now.
(thunder)
- If my phone doesn't have at least 90% battery life,
I'm not leaving my house.
I need to always be ready to call 911.
- Same, always.
- You should get an extra battery back.
I have one, because I spend all day scrolling on Instagram.
Just put it in my front pocket
and I can scroll all day long.
- [Both] We don't have big enough pockets.
- Oh, just carry it or something; I don't know.
- But we're already carrying keys,
in one hand, as a weapon and mace in the other.
- You use the mace so you have time to call 911.
- You could take the bus if you don't wanna walk around.
There's always tons of people on that.
- But the bus can be especially creepy.
- Yeah.
I've had some terrible things happen to me on it.
- Never sit - I sat
- [Both] In gum.
- Yes! - Oh man!
It's gross.
- So gross.
- But I've never been a bus guy anyway.
I like to take an Uber and get there faster.
(thunder)
- I took an Uber from parking spot to my apartment
last night, because I was too afraid to walk,
and the Uber driver yelled at me for wasting his time!
- I actually had a pretty bad night myself last night.
Cop saw me peeing outside and tried to give me a ticket.
- Why were you peeing outside?
- Because I was at a movie and the line was too long, okay!
- Urine is a natural thing.
Why does society force you to be
ashamed of something that's a part of life?
- Amen.
- Periods!
- Breast feeding in public!
- [Both] Female orgasms!
- So you're saying I shouldn't pee outside?
- Hi, it's Katie Marovitch from College Humor.
If you wanna subscribe, click over here.
And for more fun stuff click over here.
And if you want access to College Humor's secret site,
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How Being In Public Feels: Men VS Women

9333 Folder Collection
kiki published on June 16, 2018    JR.KaTo translated    Evangeline reviewed
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