(deep bell ring)

This creepy guy keeps messaging me.

- Ugh, what is he saying.

- He said, "I'm going to kill myself if you don't respond,"

and then he just wrote, "Marry me," like a thousand times.

- Gross, I never know what to say with guys like that.

(ding)

- You should just friend him.

I do that with the women who reach out to me online,

and we usually just have a nice chat,

hey maybe even a date or two.

- Oh ho ho, you dog.

(suspenseful door slam)

- Yeah, I guess I don't want to interact with him further,

and I definitely don't want to meet him in person.

- What?

It's great meeting new people; you should try it.

You know, I love going to bars by myself

just to meet new people.

- That's fun.

- I would never go to a bar alone.

Oh my gosh, it's so much safer in a group,

especially if you're drinking.

- Absolutely.

And I don't wanna get roofied.

I have three friends who have been and it's terrifying.

- Yes, I get that.

One time I roofied myself,

just to see what the high would be like.

Honestly, not a fan.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- I don't know why anyone would choose to do that.

- I just like having cool experiences.

- We like to have cool experiences too;

we're just gonna avoid bars unless we're with people.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bars are overrated.

Now, you know what I love?

Taking long walks alone at night.

- Oh, no.

- The later the better.

I do my best thinking done then.

- I'd be clutching my phone the entire time.

- Oh no.

Now, you leave your phone at home.

That way you don't look at Facebook or Instagram.

You'd be in the moment now.

(thunder)

- If my phone doesn't have at least 90% battery life,

I'm not leaving my house.

I need to always be ready to call 911.

- Same, always.

- You should get an extra battery back.

I have one, because I spend all day scrolling on Instagram.

Just put it in my front pocket

and I can scroll all day long.

- [Both] We don't have big enough pockets.

- Oh, just carry it or something; I don't know.

- But we're already carrying keys,

in one hand, as a weapon and mace in the other.

- You use the mace so you have time to call 911.

- You could take the bus if you don't wanna walk around.

There's always tons of people on that.

- But the bus can be especially creepy.

- Yeah.

I've had some terrible things happen to me on it.

- Never sit - I sat

- [Both] In gum.

- Yes! - Oh man!

It's gross.

- So gross.

- But I've never been a bus guy anyway.

I like to take an Uber and get there faster.

(thunder)

- I took an Uber from parking spot to my apartment

last night, because I was too afraid to walk,

and the Uber driver yelled at me for wasting his time!

- I actually had a pretty bad night myself last night.

Cop saw me peeing outside and tried to give me a ticket.

- Why were you peeing outside?

- Because I was at a movie and the line was too long, okay!

- Urine is a natural thing.

Why does society force you to be

ashamed of something that's a part of life?

- Amen.

- Periods!

- Breast feeding in public!

- [Both] Female orgasms!

- So you're saying I shouldn't pee outside?

- Hi, it's Katie Marovitch from College Humor.

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