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  • MARIO: Fafa! FAFA: What?

  • MARIO: I want to go out to eat today!

  • FAFA: I'm not going to a restaurant with you, Mario.

  • MARIO: Oh, please!

  • FAFA: NO! Last time, you threw a chicken, you didn't tip,

  • and you let that 2-year-old kid run all over the place screaming!

  • Where'd you get that kid, anyway?

  • MARIO: Shall we discuss that over a blooming onion?

  • FAFA: No! Mario, you don't know ANYTHING about restaurant etiquette.

  • MARIO: Etiquette? What is that, French food? That sounds delicious; let's try one!

  • FAFA: Going out to eat at a restaurant can be a lot of fun!

  • You don't have to cook, you don't have to clean up, and you get to try food that you can't make yourself!

  • MARIO: Fafa! I don't think we have the right ingredients for gumbo!

  • FAFA: But eating out is a social experience! This means you'll be interacting with other people!

  • MARIO: When I eat, I like to take off my shirt and my shoes,

  • and put my plate on my stomach, and watch television!

  • FAFA: Yeah, then you should probably stay home.

  • FAFA: There are 3 main kinds of people at the restaurant. MARIO: Besides me?

  • FAFA: Yes, besides you. The waiter...

  • MARIO: That's the person that takes your order!

  • Waiter Gorilla: Meh.

  • FAFA: ...the cook... MARIO: That's the person that makes your food!

  • FAFA: And other customers. MARIO: Those are the annoying people at the other tables,

  • who talk too loud, and order the last plate of the special you wanted!

  • FAFA: No, stop it! This is the problem!

  • You need to be nice to all 3 of those kinds of people that have good restaurant etiquette!

  • MARIO: I don't think I know how to do that.

  • FAFA: It's easy! Remember those 3 groups of people?

  • MARIO: No.

  • FAFA: Don't yell at any of them.

  • MARIO: HEY BUTLER, BRING ME MY FOOD!

  • FAFA: Don't throw things at any of them.

  • MARIO: Bombs away! Meh!

  • (splat)

  • Chef Gorilla: MEH!

  • FAFA: ...and don't take food from any of them.

  • MARIO: I can't take food from the waiter?!

  • FAFA: Yeah, you can take food from him.

  • MARIO: I'm never going to remember what to do when!

  • FAFA: Then let's break down the restaurant experience.

  • Being seated is easy! You just have to remember 2 things.

  • If a host shows you to your table, do not go and sit at a table on the other side of the room.

  • If you do seat yourself, do not sit at a chair that has another customer in it.

  • Gorilla: Meh!

  • FAFA: Ordering your food is where many people make restaurant etiquette mistakes.

  • The waiter is waiting on lots of people at the same time, so you shouldn't do this:

  • MARIO: HEY! I WANT A CHEESEBURGER! AND I WANT IT MEDIUM RARE, BUDDY!

  • FAFA: Or this:

  • MARIO: I don't care this is an Italian restaurant! I want burrito!

  • FAFA: Or this.

  • MARIO: Oh, and dressing on the side, and sub bread for beef,

  • then sub beef for pizza, and instead of cheese on that pizza,

  • I want chicken wings on that pizza. Now read those notes back and make sure you got it right, buddy.

  • FAFA: Or, the nice people at the restaurant might do this.

  • Waiter Gorilla: Meh-meh muh. Muh-meh-meh. Mm-meh.

  • Chef Gorilla: Meh-muh?!

  • (hacks and spits)

  • (Waiter Gorilla laughs)

  • MARIO: Oooh, this is my favourite part! I know how to do this.

  • FAFA: You do, do ya? Remember why we got banned from the IHOP?

  • MARIO: Oh! Fafa! Please help me with my etiquette! I want Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N' Fruity! Oh!

  • FAFA: If there's silverware on the table, do not eat your food with your hands.

  • MARIO: Even pizza? FAFA: Nah, you can eat pizza with your hands.

  • MARIO: How about gumbo? FAFA: No. Eat the food that's on your plate.

  • Do not eat the food of the people at the table next to you.

  • MARIO: Ahh! (chomp)

  • Gorilla: Mm? Hm!!

  • If you have to go to the bathroom during your meal, do not take your plate of food in with you.

  • (toilet flushes)

  • MARIO: OH NO! OH NO! There goes my soufflé.

  • FAFA: This is the easiest part. Just pay, and leave. But you have to do both.

  • You can't leave and not pay, and you can't pay and not leave.

  • Or eventually, the nice restaurant will call the police and you will go to jail.

  • MARIO: And that's it. FAFA: And you should tip your waiter.

  • MARIO: Dangit! I thought you were going to forget that part!

  • FAFA: It's that easy! Follow those tips for good restaurant etiquette,

  • and you can eat out with the peace of mind that the restaurant won't send you to jail.

  • MARIO: I'm not chancing it. I have beaten the system! I am having burritos DELIVERED!

  • FAFA: Mario, would you put your shirt and shoes back on please?

  • You know you have to have good etiquette with the delivery guy too, right?

  • MARIO: You mean I have to pay, tip, and be nice to him, and then HE LEAVES?!

  • FAFA: Yeah! Mario: What are we, the Kennedys, all of the sudden?!

  • (Doorbell rings repeatedly)

  • FAFA: WOULD YOU PUT YOUR SHIRT ON AND ANSWER THE DOOR PLEASE?!

  • MARIO: You put a shirt on.

  • (Crew laughing)

  • Gorilla: Meh-meh! Meh-meh! Meh-meh! Mm! Meh! Meh-meh! Mm. Meh.

MARIO: Fafa! FAFA: What?

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A2 US mario meh etiquette restaurant gorilla waiter

Restaurant Etiquette

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    洪程涵 posted on 2018/05/01
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