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  • Hi, I'm gonna smile an abnormal amount.

  • Honestly, I forgot this was happening today.

  • I'm so nervous I might throw up.

  • Well, I've already judged you based on how you look.

  • I tried not to, but I did.

  • Should I start lying now, or did you wanna small talk about the weather first?

  • You can just like, go ahead and say everything you wrote on there.

  • Sure, well as you can see here, I made up six years of experience.

  • Head of marketing for Mr. Jones. Nice.

  • Correct. That's my dad.

  • I told him you might call, and he has talking points already.

  • So tell me about this management position at this company I've never heard of.

  • Technically, I was an assistant but I feel like I could've figured it out.

  • Mmhmm, let's see what other interview questions I've Googled here.

  • Ah, yes, why did you leave your last job?

  • I just feel like I needed a bigger challenge, you know?

  • And also I was fired.

  • Mmhmm, mmhmm.

  • Tell me about one of your many weaknesses, and don't say perfectionist, ok? You liar.

  • Honestly, I don't really work that hard.

  • So why do you want this job?

  • I like money.

  • Says here you're proficient in Photoshop.

  • Oh, yeah, I face tune all the time, it's one and the same.

  • Potato, potato, am I right?

  • Fluent in French, very nice lie.

  • Oui.

  • I know exactly three words, that was one of them.

  • Mmm, trustworthy, I'm not really sure that's a skill.

  • Fair, it also depends how many drinks I've had.

  • I know it seems like I'm taking informative notes but really I'm just writing, "Don't hire,"

  • literally, look, "Don't hire,"

  • stupid answer, dumb dumb, you're not getting the job.

  • You know, I'm sensing this isn't going well so I'm gonna say a bunch of buzzwords.

  • Go for it.

  • Reliable, a team player, self starter.

  • Mmm, maybe something about efficiency?

  • Time management.

  • There it is.

  • Problem solver, eh?

  • Eh?

  • I'm really enjoying feeling like I'm in power right now.

  • Oh, fast learner.

  • Listen, shut up.

  • You're talking a little too much so I'm gonna tell you about our company now.

  • Oh, I'm squinting my eyes and nodding as if I'm very interested.

  • Same, yeah, no, I could care less about this god damn company.

  • Well, I'm going to overthink everything I said as soon as I walk out.

  • We might settle for you.

  • That's what I'm hoping for.

  • Absolutely tragic, so sorry.

  • Aye, you alright there, mate?

  • If you like this video make sure you smash your thumbs up.

  • You can check on my last video right over there,

  • things people say to people that have acne,

  • you know spots on their face,

  • my second vlog channels right over there,

  • it's a mother f'ing riot, so make sure you check that out,

  • and make sure you subscribe because I make new videos

  • every Monday and Thursday, mate,

  • you know I want you to be there.

  • One love superwoman that is a wrap, and zoop!

Hi, I'm gonna smile an abnormal amount.

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