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  • One of the most basic facts about the human condition is that we know ourselves from the inside,

  • but we know others only from what they choose or are able to tell us, a far more limited and edited set of data.

  • We are continuously and intimately exposed to our own worries, hopes, desires, and memories,

  • many of which feel overwhelmingly intense, strange, vulnerable, or sad.

  • Yet, when it comes to other people, we are tightly restricted to knowing them through their public pronouncements, to what they can or choose to reveal.

  • The hints and clues we're left to play with are hugely imperfect guides to the reality of another person's existence.

  • The result ofwhat we termed as Psychological Asymmetryis that we almost always think of ourselves as far more peculiar, shameful, and alarming than other people we run into.

  • Our experiences of anxiety, anger, envy, sex, and distress appear to be so much more intense and disturbing than those of anyone in the vicinity.

  • We aren't, of course, in truth, really so odd; we just know a lot more about who we are.

  • The results of Psychological Asymmetry are loneliness and shyness.

  • We are beset by loneliness because we cannot imagine that others long and desire, envy and hate, crave and weep as we do.

  • We feel ourselves cast out into a world of strangers,

  • inherently different from everyone we live alongside, and potentially, fundamentally offensive to all those who might know us properly.

  • It appears, in dark moments, that no one could possibly both know and like us.

  • We also get shy, easily intimidated by people who we assume cannot share in our vulnerabilities

  • and whom we imagine would be entirely unable to relate to the petty, grand, perverse, or idealistic thoughts that pass moment by moment through our minds.

  • If we reach important positions, we feel like impostors, beset by an impression that our quirks separate us from others who have occupied comparable roles in the past.

  • We grow boring and conventional, mimicking the externals of other people on the false assumption that this is what they might truly be like inside.

  • The solutions to Psychological Asymmetry lie in two places: art and love.

  • Art provides us with accurate portrayals of the inner lives of strangers,

  • and, with grace and compelling charm, shows us how much they share in troubles and hopes we thought we might be alone in experiencing.

  • And love gives us an occasional, deeply precious sense of security to reveal who we really are to another person and the opportunity to learn about their reality from a position of extreme secure proximity.

  • To overcome the effects of Psychological Asymmetry, we must constantly trustespecially in the absence of any evidence

  • that everyone is likely to be far closer to what we arethat is, far shyer, more scared, more worried, and more incomplete

  • than they are to resemble the personas they show to the world.

  • We are fortunately not, any of us, quite as odd or quite as special, as we might assume or fear.

  • At the School of Life, we believe in developing emotional intelligence.

  • To that end, we've also created a whole range of products to support that growth.

  • Find out more at the link on the screen now.

One of the most basic facts about the human condition is that we know ourselves from the inside,

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B1 US psychological odd envy loneliness reveal assume

Why We Feel Lonely and Odd

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    Evangeline posted on 2021/03/27
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