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  • There is a lot of dating advice out there that doesn't make sense to me.

  • Always make sure you're the one to text him less.

  • So if he sends you two texts you send him one.

  • And if he sends you one text you send him one word answers.

  • If he's getting distant then you just tell him that he's being clingy and that you need space.

  • You just always have to reverse psychology them.

  • Here's a series of books of canned responses for every possible scenario organized alphabetically by topic of discussion.

  • Thank you.. Yeah

  • I will... um.. get right on that.

  • There's articles and books and movies and blogs and videos all based purely on the concept that there is a right way to date someone.

  • That there is a correct combination of texts and words and behaviours that will make somebody fall in love with you without you losing your power.

  • I think this is bullshit.

  • And I mean don't get me wrong . I'll admit when I was fifteen I would read Cosmopolitan and Seventeen magazine and follow their advice to a "T."

  • He's gonna call me now. He's gonna call me now. He's gonna call me now.

  • Now. Now. He's gonna call me now. He's... *gasps*

  • *phone ringing*

  • Hey Michael! I'm so sorry. I was just in the shower... All naked and stuff.

  • What's up chicken butt?

  • But I realized that all of this advice is based on the flawed premise that love is a game and people are prizes to be won.

  • And when I would follow these rules and inevitably get to know a person better and become emotionally invested in them.

  • I would realize way too late. Wait! We're not actually compatible.

  • Yeah so I just like walked out.

  • Wait... You just left without paying?

  • Look if they're not going to give me the bill on time then I'm just gonna go.

  • Bye! *chuckles*

  • I remember when I was in like my late teens, early twenties I had like this really long conversation with my grandma where I was just like confused and angry about love and marriage and dating and I just felt like there were so many rules you had to follow

  • And I had so much anxiety about doing the wrong thing or saying the wrong thing.

  • And she was like "Anna Kay. The only dating advice you will ever need is to just be yourself."

  • Because that way if someone falls in love with you, they're falling in love with you.

  • And not this idea that you've presented.

  • It's a lot of work to maintain an idea over a long period of time.

  • It's quite easy to keep being yourself.

  • And her advice, though very simple, and straightforward and seemingly obvious really stuck with me.

  • As like a no bullshit way to see who's weirdness vibes with your weirdness.

  • Because if you're the kind of person who says whatever is on their mind.

  • No matter how inappropriate or dark.

  • Your date's gonna either laugh and like it or they're gonna think that it's awkward and never call you again.

  • But either way, you didn't hold back an aspect of your personality that you otherwise might've suppressed for some time.

  • I think it's much better to just be upfront with who you are and what the other person is signing up for.

  • And if they like it - great!

  • And if they don't - cool! Move on and find somebody else.

  • And when you finally do they'll like you for you.

  • Instead of this carefully curated construct that you've spent so much time building for them.

  • I'm Anna Akana. Stay right here for a sponsored message.

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There is a lot of dating advice out there that doesn't make sense to me.

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B1 US squarespace advice gonna call dating anna call

The only dating advice you'll ever need

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    April Lu posted on 2018/04/30
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