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  • Hey there.

  • Hi.

  • The audience is so well lit.

  • I feel like I know all of you.

  • It's normally dark out there.

  • No, when we started the show, I thought

  • they should be part of the show.

  • They shouldn't be in the dark.

  • They should be as lit as we are.

  • So we actually include them in the show.

  • I like that.

  • OK, cool.

  • That's on purpose.

  • Do you want me to turn--

  • It's a little scary.

  • OK.

  • No, no, no, it's OK.

  • [INAUDIBLE]

  • Do you not want to see them?

  • No, no, no, it's fine.

  • Just keep smiling.

  • OK.

  • Be supportive.

  • So first of all, the movie is fantastic.

  • Thank you.

  • Portia and I loved it.

  • Thanks.

  • We watched it and said this is like a good old-fashioned spy

  • thriller that the way movies used to be made.

  • Yeah.

  • And I just love it.

  • I think you're great in it.

  • I think the movie is fantastic.

  • So I highly recommend it.

  • I think it's fantastic.

  • Thank you so much.

  • And it comes out today, so now you're officially on vacation.

  • Yeah.

  • And you have an alter ego when you go on vacation.

  • Yeah, I can't go on a vacation right now.

  • Because I just can't--

  • I can't deal with Gail at the mo--

  • I need to rest before Gail.

  • OK, why did you name her Gail?

  • I didn't.

  • She almost named herself.

  • I think my girlfriends probably named her Gail just

  • by the way I look.

  • And it's a very specific drunk too.

  • It's not just like every time I'm drunk, I turn into this--

  • I think she's some sort of tortoise gambler or something.

  • I don't always turn into this masculine alter ego

  • that jumps into shark ridden waters

  • just to make my friends laugh.

  • My friends were like, that's too far, Jen-- no not funny.

  • It's not every time.

  • I think it might be rum, which is

  • what I brought up to Colbert.

  • Because the only time I drink rum is on vacation.

  • Well, you're on vacation.

  • Bring the rum.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • I can't.

  • I can't keep doing this.

  • Oh my god.

  • I can't.

  • I really can't.

  • I'll take this one.

  • They're all labeled.

  • Oh my god.

  • That's rum punch.

  • They're fake, right?

  • Are they--

  • Let's see if they are.

  • That's real.

  • Yeah.

  • Oh my god, this is going to turn into my whole thing.

  • But you don't normally--

  • I'm not this big of a drinker.

  • When I'm on a press tour, I really drink a lot.

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah.

  • Only on a press tour.

  • Yeah, but if I'm working and filming, then I can't.

  • No.

  • It's not like I'm like this every night.

  • No.

  • Well, you wouldn't be able to.

  • Because you're very professional.

  • No, but bus tours.

  • It's the only way to make it through.

  • Yeah, so let's talk about Gail some more while you drink that.

  • Gail is a lovely-- she's got a heart of gold.

  • She's just--

  • Can we show a picture of Gail?

  • Because she does look very different.

  • There she is.

  • There is my girl.

  • So that's how--

  • Zoom in, please.

  • That's how you normally look.

  • And then Gail is--

  • what is the difference there?

  • First of all, that's not how I-- oh my god.

  • Look, I was trying to look cute.

  • I was getting photographed with all my girlfriends

  • on the beach.

  • I wanted to look cute.

  • And look what-- I can't even repeat it.

  • My whole face is just crooked.

  • It's a different face.

  • Yeah.

  • That's not your normal smile.

  • I hope not.

  • No.

  • It might be.

  • I don't know.

  • No.

  • But the hair too, just so presidential.

  • Yeah.

  • What happens?

  • So you become braver.

  • You go into shark infested waters.

  • I'll just give you five seconds of Gail.

  • So from there, we went conch diving.

  • And we pull up the conch, and the guy driving our boat

  • goes look.

  • They all have little worms.

  • I took it out of his hand and swallowed it, and then pulled

  • the worms out of all the conchs and swallowed all the worms.

  • And some of my friends are like kind of laughing.

  • But they're like hello?

  • Hello?

  • And then we pull up.

  • And he's like, and this is where the fishermen

  • clean all the fish out.

  • So there's all these sharks here.

  • And I was like sack and just jumped in.

  • And everyone's like somebody get her some water and coffee.

  • She's going to die.

  • Wow.

  • It was just one masculine--

  • what are those people called, adrenaline junkie?

  • Adrenaline junkies?

  • Yeah, and I'm like--

  • I'm normally pretty cautious.

  • I've never really broken--

  • You sit like that.

  • I sit like this--

  • Wow.

  • --in my real life.

  • And then I get rum in me, and I'm just

  • like let's arm wrestle!

  • So because usually if you drink vodka, you don't become Gail?

  • It's only rum.

  • I'm trying to think what I drank at your birthday.

  • Vodka.

  • OK, that's--

  • I think you did.

  • Yeah, and that did something else but not Gail.

  • But I think someone was passing a tra--

  • I think it was Reese walking around with a tray of tequila

  • shots, though.

  • So I don't know if you did that.

  • I probably knocked the tray over.

  • Rawr!

  • I don't know.

  • All I know is after five minutes, me

  • and Jennifer Aniston had our arms around each other.

  • No, I love you the most!

  • No, I love you!

  • We were just like ah!

  • Nostrils flared.

  • Wow.

  • I love her.

  • And she loves you.

  • I love a lot of people at your party.

  • So what kind of drunk was this on--

  • this was a red carpet.

  • Oh, jeez.