Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles [MUSIC - CONNIE FRANCIS, "STUPID CUPID"] (SINGING) Stupid Cupid you're a real mean guy. I'd like to clip your wings so you can't fly. Stupid Cupid. I'm in love and it's a crying shame. Stupid Cupid-- Happy Valentine's Day, my little chalky hearts. I made you all cards. Ooh, mine says I get a thousand kisses. Give me some sugar, Momma! Mm, mm, mm, mm 1,000. Don't short me, woman! Louise, read your card now. I don't really celebrate Valentine's Day. It's an invented holiday, you know. Read it! Fine, fine-- it's the same as Gene's card. Here come your kisses. Eh, Gene can have them. Hell, yes! And here's your card, my little Valentina. [grumbling] Oh no. Oh wow. [groans] Tina, was that your stomach? Yes. We may have had a little friendly leftover chili eating contest last night, which I won. Tina dominated. It was like watching barf in reverse. Well, you look a little pale, Tina. Are you sure you don't want to stay home? No, anything can happen today, because today is a day all about love. And nothing can stop love. [grumbling] Oh my god, oh my god! That's right, Tina. Nothing stopped me from buying your father a box of chocolates from a kid in the parking lot. Thanks, Lin. I got you something really nice as well. - Really? - Yeah. Can I have it now? You have to wait until a little later. Is that OK? Oh my god, I can't freaking wait. Oops, oops, oops, this opened. Mm-- [spits] Dark chocolate, so dry, so bitter. Why! Nom, nom, nom-- [spits] Walnuts! Just be normal, dammit!