Could we go someplace else next time, Mom?

Anyplace? Please?

There's so much more to see.

We practically ran through the exhibit

of giraffe-necked babies.

Those babies are so fake.

Oh, they're real.

That's not the sort of thing they'd lie about.

That's exactly the sort of thing they'd lie about.

Back me up on this, Dogbert.

Oh, they're real.

How did you get so distrustful?

Well, I'm just guessing, but maybe it was because

you lied to me about the Tooth Fairy,

then you lied to me about the Easter Bunny,

then you lied to me about Santa Claus,

then you lied to me about the stork bringing babies.

He knows about the stork?

My fault. I let him watch the nature channel.

He put two and two together.

Now I don't believe

anything I'm told unless there's proof.

This paperweight is an exact replica

of the largest fibroid tumor

ever removed from a human uterus.

That's ridiculous.

How do they know it's the biggest one?

There's an annual festival in Monterey.

Get the Turbo Supreme.

The commercial says it whitens your teeth while you drive.

That's ridiculous,

but I'm going to get the Turbo Supreme

just to prove you wrong.

You have to believe in some things

without proof, Dilbert.

Otherwise, life will appear meaningless.

Maybe life is meaningless.

Did you ever think of that?

That one is getting whiter already.

Dogbert, could you go inside

and take care of our bill?

Do you ever feel bloated after eating a big meal?

Yes, I do.

How'd you know that?

I'm a surgeon.

Your problem is caused by a huge fibroid tumor

in your uterus.

I can remove it if you have a health plan.

I don't have a health plan.

Can I pay you with gas?

[SIGHS]

All right.

I'll need a plastic fork, a jar of salsa,

and one thing I left in the car.

I'll always remember the day

that little surgeon saved my life.

I'm telling you, it's dangerous

to smoke cigarettes while you pump gas.

My daddy always pumped gas this way

and he's still alive...

or at least it looks that way

when the wind catches his rocking chair just right.

You can open your eyes now.

That didn't even hurt.

I'll have to send this to the lab.

[EXPLOSION]

Bad news. You're out of Turbo Supreme.

[EXPLOSION]

[music]

[CHANTING]

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

Oh, my God!

Dilbert, can you hear me?

Can you do something for him, little surgeon?

No, I used the last of the plastic forks

when I operated on you.

Whatever happens is on your conscience now.

Wake up! Dilbert, wake up!

Can you hear me?

I must be dead.

This is the tunnel I keep reading about.

Behind this door are the answers to the ultimate questions.

The afterlife.

Frankly, I was hoping for more.

[SCREAMING]

He's dead.

Dilbert is dead!

Are you sure?

Yes.

Hey!

[SIGHS]

I don't know what kind of manners

they have in the afterlife, funny boy,

but on earth, you watch your hands.

Am I alive?

Actually, you're down a quart.

You're a miracle worker, little surgeon.

You got that right.

Dear, now that you're alive again,

I need to ask you one very important question.

Yes, Mom?

Are my teeth any whiter?

DILBERT: And then I traveled back down the tunnel

and woke up at the gas station.

Are you telling me the afterlife is a stinking cubicle?

I'm just telling you what I saw.

How fast was the internet connection?!

I don't know if it had an internet connection.

Well, this raises many troubling questions

about the afterlife.

First, how do you get your software upgraded?

Uh, I guess it was just the one question.

So, technically, you were dead.

I think so.

No more employee benefits for you, my dead friend.

But I came back to life.

Rules are rules. Try to look at the big picture.

music Happy birthday, Wally music

music Blah, blah, blah music

Everybody, eat cake and see if your morale goes up.

Yeah, I'd love to stay,

but secretaries have to watch the phones.

Oh, sure, I can buy the cake and I can buy the gift,

but the world would end

if I let one phone call go to voice mail.

Sometimes I call her my BOSS.

That usually gets a laugh.

Did anyone bring the birthday kit?

Got it.

Do we get any cake?

Howard, whose birthday is it?

Yours!

Does anyone care that I was dead yesterday?

Can you let someone else

be in the spotlight for one second?

We can't stop a birthday celebration

every time you die.

Uh, unwrap my present. I'm a little busy.

I am honored.

Oh, it is a round thing

you throw through the air for no apparent reason.

I'll take the picture...

So there's no photographic evidence

that I ever associated with any of you.

Wally!

Napkin.

Where have I seen this before?

Before we get back to work,

I want to remind everyone

that all employees must be present at the launch site

when our new deep space exploration rocket goes up...

in about five minutes.

Five minutes?

We can't get there in five minutes.

No exceptions.

Except you, Dilbert.

I want you to visit our director of human resources--

Mr. Catbert.

MAN: Let me out!

Please! I'll never rob another convenience store again!

I'm scared straight!

Ow! Ow! Oh, God!

That's hot!

How would you feel about making this an unmanned probe?

That's what it's supposed to be.

There's still time to put a monkey in there.

I hate monkeys.

No. All we want on board

is the capsule full of earth artifacts

in case the rocket is discovered by an alien civilization.

A capsule, you say.

The capsule is on board, isn't it?

Would you excuse me for a moment?

I need someone to volunteer for a suicide mission.

Now you'll need to run toward the launch site

and fling this birthday kit

through the open window of the rocket module,

then turn and be consumed by the launch flames