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And also, you're not supposed
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to have a girlfriend until you're like 35.
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She is loving, but very strict.
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She's constantly moving, constantly working,
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constantly offering you food.
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I would say my mom is wild.
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She's very energetic and very silly.
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She can yell.
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Like, across like a football stadium.
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"Sissy Joanne!"
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What have I done in my past life
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to deserve this?
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She'd be like, "Huh?"
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"Huh? What did you say?"
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"Can you say that again?"
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"Say that to your mother."
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I always just figured I would just like never date when I was in high school,
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or that if I was gonna do it,
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I'd have to do it in secret behind her back.
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They want you to focus on schoolwork,
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and then by like 25, they're like,
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"What's wrong with you?"
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"Kevin, if you had a girlfriend, you would tell me, right?"
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I'm just like, "Yeah, sure."
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"You don't need any other man in your life besides your father."
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Discussions with my mom about dating
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were basically nonexistent.
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When I go shopping with her, she'll be like,
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"Nothing past $10."
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My mom has basically taught me
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that I don't have to pay anything at full price.
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"You have a shirt just like that, Sissy."
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"Why would you spend any more money on another shirt like that?"
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"Kevin, you need to think about the family."
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"It's not just about you."
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Up until college, I wore exclusively JCPenney clothes.
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With career, my mom was just always like,
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"Are you sure you don't want to be a nurse?"
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"Well, you studied something Englishy, you could go to law school."
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When my mom met my roommate,
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who is a programmer, she was like,
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"Chris could have been a programmer too."
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"He majored in programming, but you know, he's not a programmer."
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"You know, you should get your master's degree."
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"Oh, you know, there's still time to be a pharmacist."
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"Doctor" still gets thrown around.
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"Oh, why don't you become a doctor?"
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She wanted me to kind of grow in her footsteps
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and do that same career,
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but it never really worked out,
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and I think she just got over it after a while.
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Sometimes moms just have a hard time accepting the fact that
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they can't help you with everything.
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I think that's also a really good opportunity
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for you to like bond with each other.
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I'd resented it when I was younger,
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but I appreciate it now, and I wouldn't change anything.
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And so I don't think I could ever thank her enough
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for always just looking out for me and making sure that
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had my head on straight, had money in my pocket, and my stomach was full.
