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  • Uh, excuse me?

  • Oh, hey. It's you.

  • Ya okay, I'm not sure what kind of vibe I was giving off before

  • but I am not interested in your schnitzel, okay?

  • No, no, no, no, no. God, no.

  • I just have one quick question:

  • Victoria seems like a great girl. Why wouldn't you want to marry her?

  • Okay, Victoria is "wunderbar". I'm sorry, wunderbar is the German word for wonderful.

  • Yeah, no, I know.

  • Oh, you speak German?

  • GERMAN: Do you speak German?! I don't have any Friends in America who speak German! This makes me so lonely, so lonely!

  • No. No, no, no... No, just, just, just the one word.

  • Oh. Oh. Ah... Okay, Victoria.There is a word in German: Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz.

  • And Victoria is wunderbar, but she is not my Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz. She is my Beinaheleidenschaftsgegenstand, you know?

  • You know wunderbar but you don't know Beinaheleidenschaftsgegenstand? That is something we learn in kindergarten. I'm sorry, "kindergarten" is the German word for--

  • No, no, I know that one. Oh, okay.

  • But you don't know Beinaheleidenschaftsgegenstand? You are maddeningly inconsistent.

  • It means... The thing that is almost, the thing that you want... But it's not quite. That is Victoria to me.

  • How do you know she's not Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz? I mean, maybe as the years go by, she'll get Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz-ier.

  • Oh, nein, nein, nein. Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz is not something that develops over time. It is something that happens instantaneously.

  • It courses through you like the water of a river after a storm... Filling you and emptying you all at once.

  • You feel it throughout your body... in your hands... in your heart... in your stomach... in your skin...

  • Of course you feel it in your Schlauchmachendejungen. Pardon my French. Have you ever felt this way about someone?

  • Yeah, I think so.

  • If you have to think about it, you have not felt it.

  • And you're absolutely sure, you'll find that someday?

  • Of course. Everyone does eventually. You just never know when or where.

  • And he was right. Unfortunately, the "when" of it was still a little ways down the road.

  • But the "where" of it?

  • Song: The Funeral - Band of Horses

Uh, excuse me?

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