Uh...

I don't know how to spell Wednesday.

Well James, just sound it out!

Oh, okay.

So...like this?

No, James. It's 'Wed-nes-day'

You said sound it out, and that's how you sound it out!

Honhonhon! You think you have it bad.

'Deux' (two) is spelled with an X!

I think it comes to no surprise that I'm terrible at spelling.

I feel like everyone in life falls into two categories.

Either you're good at math and bad at reading or...

...you're weird.

And if you've seen my other videos, you know that I'm a math boi

My mom told me that I have dyslexia because she has dyslexia and I have all the symptoms.

But, we never got a diagnosed by a doctor, so...

...PPPFFFTTT! You can't make me take my meds, MOOOOM!

A lot of times, what I do to cover up the fact that I spell lower than a first grade level is I will purposely

misspell words to the point where it's *JAMES YOU SPELLED OBVIOUSLY WRONG* a joke

You thought I was doing that to be funny,

but it's actually because I have zero self-confidence in my spelling

and I don't want anyone to point out my mistakes.

I mentioned this in a different video, but in elementary school,

I was put into an honors program.

And everyone had to take spelling tests a grade ahead of their level.

And by everyone, I mean EVERYONE...

...except me.

Because I failed every single spelling test...

So I had to take spelling tests that were on-level.

Eww.

Every week, when we took a spelling test I would have to move to the back of the classroom,

and the teacher would stand right next to me.

She'd call out everyone else's word, which had like 8 syllables, like:

"Antidisestablishmentarianism"

Then she'd turn to me and give me my on-level word

James, your word is "cat."

*sniff*

*lip smack*

*sigh*

Also, one year, our class did a spelling bee and everyone had to participate

and like, I didn't even care that I was the first one out

Hey, that's almost my name!

Another thing that I mentioned in a pretty old video,

is that I used to have a speech impediment when I was little.

I couldn't pronounce my R's and I talked like this

I'm good now!

Obviouswy.

So every other day during school,

I had to go to a speech therapy class.

And one day, the teacher who taught me how to pwonounce my R's...

(I'll call her Mrs. Kool-aid)

She gave me this sheet of paper with a bunch of waindrops-

*BEEP*

raindrops on it!

And she said,

"For every raindrop on this page, say the word 'raindrop'"

But then she just left the room and I said,

"Huh!"

"Well, I'm not gonna do this!"

I didn't say 'waindrop' a single time.

Because, like, no one was even there!

No one would've seen me not saying 'waindrop'!

So why would I do something that I didn't want to do?

But then, the funny part is when she came back, she asked,

Mrs. Kool-aid: "Are you finished saying your raindrops?"

"Nnnoooo..."

"Well, how many did you say?"

"I didn't say... any..."

"You stupid child."

I told her the truth for some reason!

I don't know why, it was probably the easiest lie in my life to get away with.

But that's why I remember this story.

I'm still mad at myself for telling the truth...

And I had to say 'raindrop' a bunch of times in front of her.

Which meant I'd only go to the next 'waindrop' until I said it right.

And it was 'TEWWIBLE'!

Weally hurt my feelings...

Since I was struggling with reading and spelling, I had to get an I.E.P.

An Incredible Excellent Personality!

Which meant I had to go to a special class for a little bit during school

and the teacher who taught this class was none

other than Mrs Kool-aid.

*Oh ye-AH!*

I don't know why I said it like that.

I don't remember anyone ever telling me I was put into a special needs class.

I just remember going into speech therapy every other day,

Then those classes slowly morphed into teaching me how to read and spell.

I don't know, I thought reading this book would've helped me talk better.

Two other kids were in the reading class with me,

and I remember the day when reading for me just...clicked.

Us three were given a simple sentence to read; it was about bees.

It was so simple.

It was literally just:

"To defend their hive from wasps, bees don't sting the wasp,

instead, they all crowd around the wasp and flap their wings

to raise their body temperature, heating up the wasp, until it dies."

And then Mrs. Kool-aid asked us,

"Okay, how do bees defend against wasps?"

And the other two kids said:

[OTHER KIDS]: "They sting them."

And I said,

[JAMES]: WHAT?! No, you 'mowons'! Didn't you 'wead' this?!

AAH! *James realizes what reading means*

The words in this paper have meaning when placed in a certain order to convey information...

Also, I never want to get hugged by a bee.

So I was in these classes all the way until the sixth grade.

I was getting better at reading, still wasn't great..

But, I was getting better at it.

And one day, Mrs. Kool-aid said,

"Y'know James, you should try competing...

...in the Battle of the Books."

[James] Battle of the Books?

BATTLE OF THE BOOKS?!

[Very Distorted] B A T T L E O F T H E B O O K S ! ?

FINALLY, reading sounds F U N!

At my school, Battle of the Books was this competition

where the students were given a list of four books to read within the time limit of, like...

2 months? I don't remember how long it was.

And after however many months it was

the contestants would sit in an auditorium and

take turns answering questions about the books.

And whoever got the most questions right...

would get a pizza party. That's where the battle part comes in.

We'd kill each other for pizza!

Then, there were two more rounds, each with four more books.

So, there was a total of twelve books you had to read.

And we were allowed to be with a partner. So my partner,

was TJ.

- Hey TJ, do you remember battle of the books?! - Yeah, man. It was great!

Now you're probably thinkin' that four books in two months isn't that hard,

especially since they're kids books.

But as someone who didn't read any books on my own outside of school, it was a challenge.

But, I discovered a way

to cheat the system.

I discovered something called

Audio books.

Instead of having to sit still and read the book,

I could just have someone read the book to me.

And I would get through the book so much faster!

I'd be able to read a book in about eight hours, as opposed to read a book...

never, 'cause I would never be able to finish a book on my own.

And I was actually able to understand what was going on

I legitimately thought that listening to audio books was cheating, because of how well it worked.

So, I never told anyone my secret.

Until... just now...

Pwease don't tell anyone!

Also, I didn't just just turn on an audio book and start playing video games.

No, I sat on my bed next to the CD player, and followed along with the book.

And sometimes I even took notes.

I've wanted to talk about my love for audio books for so long.

But, I can't.

Because then people will think I'm getting paid by a certain company, but I'm not.

And I'll prove it.

Instead of wasting your money on quality audio books made by professionals,

you guys should all check out Librivox.org,

where you can listen to FREE, public domain audio books,

which means there's only old-timey classical books on it,

like Aesop's fables, which in my opinion is all you need!

Anyway, TJ and I did the Battle of the Books and for one of the rounds TJ was sick,

so I had to answer the questions all by myself and I never forgave him for that.

And also, the whole time I was keeping track of everyone's points,

And me and TJ got the most questions right.

My math skills are finally being useful.

I was already craving the pizza.

After the last round, the teacher said:

"Okay I'll tally up all the points and let you all know who the winner is in a couple of weeks!"

But, since I was keeping track of everyone's score,

I already knew we won. I turned to TJ and I said:

"TJ, guess what?"

"We already-" OH. This was the round where you were sick.

How did I not notice that until just now?