Subtitles section Play video
-
Okay class, spell Wednesday.
-
Uh...
-
I don't know how to spell Wednesday.
-
Well James, just sound it out!
-
Oh, okay.
-
So...like this?
-
No, James. It's 'Wed-nes-day'
-
You said sound it out, and that's how you sound it out!
-
Honhonhon! You think you have it bad.
-
'Deux' (two) is spelled with an X!
-
I think it comes to no surprise that I'm terrible at spelling.
-
I feel like everyone in life falls into two categories.
-
Either you're good at math and bad at reading or...
-
...you're weird.
-
And if you've seen my other videos, you know that I'm a math boi
-
My mom told me that I have dyslexia because she has dyslexia and I have all the symptoms.
-
But, we never got a diagnosed by a doctor, so...
-
...PPPFFFTTT! You can't make me take my meds, MOOOOM!
-
A lot of times, what I do to cover up the fact that I spell lower than a first grade level is I will purposely
-
misspell words to the point where it's *JAMES YOU SPELLED OBVIOUSLY WRONG* a joke
-
You thought I was doing that to be funny,
-
but it's actually because I have zero self-confidence in my spelling
-
and I don't want anyone to point out my mistakes.
-
I mentioned this in a different video, but in elementary school,
-
I was put into an honors program.
-
And everyone had to take spelling tests a grade ahead of their level.
-
And by everyone, I mean EVERYONE...
-
...except me.
-
Because I failed every single spelling test...
-
So I had to take spelling tests that were on-level.
-
Eww.
-
Every week, when we took a spelling test I would have to move to the back of the classroom,
-
and the teacher would stand right next to me.
-
She'd call out everyone else's word, which had like 8 syllables, like:
-
"Antidisestablishmentarianism"
-
Then she'd turn to me and give me my on-level word
-
James, your word is "cat."
-
*sniff*
-
*lip smack*
-
*sigh*
-
Also, one year, our class did a spelling bee and everyone had to participate
-
and like, I didn't even care that I was the first one out
-
Hey, that's almost my name!
-
Another thing that I mentioned in a pretty old video,
-
is that I used to have a speech impediment when I was little.
-
I couldn't pronounce my R's and I talked like this
-
I'm good now!
-
Obviouswy.
-
So every other day during school,
-
I had to go to a speech therapy class.
-
And one day, the teacher who taught me how to pwonounce my R's...
-
(I'll call her Mrs. Kool-aid)
-
She gave me this sheet of paper with a bunch of waindrops-
-
*BEEP*
-
raindrops on it!
-
And she said,
-
"For every raindrop on this page, say the word 'raindrop'"
-
But then she just left the room and I said,
-
"Huh!"
-
"Well, I'm not gonna do this!"
-
I didn't say 'waindrop' a single time.
-
Because, like, no one was even there!
-
No one would've seen me not saying 'waindrop'!
-
So why would I do something that I didn't want to do?
-
But then, the funny part is when she came back, she asked,
-
Mrs. Kool-aid: "Are you finished saying your raindrops?"
-
"Nnnoooo..."
-
"Well, how many did you say?"
-
"I didn't say... any..."
-
"You stupid child."
-
I told her the truth for some reason!
-
I don't know why, it was probably the easiest lie in my life to get away with.
-
But that's why I remember this story.
-
I'm still mad at myself for telling the truth...
-
And I had to say 'raindrop' a bunch of times in front of her.
-
Which meant I'd only go to the next 'waindrop' until I said it right.
-
And it was 'TEWWIBLE'!
-
Weally hurt my feelings...
-
Since I was struggling with reading and spelling, I had to get an I.E.P.
-
An Incredible Excellent Personality!
-
Which meant I had to go to a special class for a little bit during school
-
and the teacher who taught this class was none
-
other than Mrs Kool-aid.
-
*Oh ye-AH!*
-
I don't know why I said it like that.
-
I don't remember anyone ever telling me I was put into a special needs class.
-
I just remember going into speech therapy every other day,
-
Then those classes slowly morphed into teaching me how to read and spell.
-
I don't know, I thought reading this book would've helped me talk better.
-
Two other kids were in the reading class with me,
-
and I remember the day when reading for me just...clicked.
-
Us three were given a simple sentence to read; it was about bees.
-
It was so simple.
-
It was literally just:
-
"To defend their hive from wasps, bees don't sting the wasp,
-
instead, they all crowd around the wasp and flap their wings
-
to raise their body temperature, heating up the wasp, until it dies."
-
And then Mrs. Kool-aid asked us,
-
"Okay, how do bees defend against wasps?"
-
And the other two kids said:
-
[OTHER KIDS]: "They sting them."
-
And I said,
-
[JAMES]: WHAT?! No, you 'mowons'! Didn't you 'wead' this?!
-
AAH! *James realizes what reading means*
-
The words in this paper have meaning when placed in a certain order to convey information...
-
Also, I never want to get hugged by a bee.
-
So I was in these classes all the way until the sixth grade.
-
I was getting better at reading, still wasn't great..
-
But, I was getting better at it.
-
And one day, Mrs. Kool-aid said,
-
"Y'know James, you should try competing...
-
...in the Battle of the Books."
-
[James] Battle of the Books?
-
BATTLE OF THE BOOKS?!
-
[Very Distorted] B A T T L E O F T H E B O O K S ! ?
-
FINALLY, reading sounds F U N!
-
At my school, Battle of the Books was this competition
-
where the students were given a list of four books to read within the time limit of, like...
-
2 months? I don't remember how long it was.
-
And after however many months it was
-
the contestants would sit in an auditorium and
-
take turns answering questions about the books.
-
And whoever got the most questions right...
-
would get a pizza party. That's where the battle part comes in.
-
We'd kill each other for pizza!
-
Then, there were two more rounds, each with four more books.
-
So, there was a total of twelve books you had to read.
-
And we were allowed to be with a partner. So my partner,
-
was TJ.
-
- Hey TJ, do you remember battle of the books?! - Yeah, man. It was great!
-
Now you're probably thinkin' that four books in two months isn't that hard,
-
especially since they're kids books.
-
But as someone who didn't read any books on my own outside of school, it was a challenge.
-
But, I discovered a way
-
to cheat the system.
-
I discovered something called
-
Audio books.
-
Instead of having to sit still and read the book,
-
I could just have someone read the book to me.
-
And I would get through the book so much faster!
-
I'd be able to read a book in about eight hours, as opposed to read a book...
-
never, 'cause I would never be able to finish a book on my own.
-
And I was actually able to understand what was going on
-
I legitimately thought that listening to audio books was cheating, because of how well it worked.
-
So, I never told anyone my secret.
-
Until... just now...
-
Pwease don't tell anyone!
-
Also, I didn't just just turn on an audio book and start playing video games.
-
No, I sat on my bed next to the CD player, and followed along with the book.
-
And sometimes I even took notes.
-
I've wanted to talk about my love for audio books for so long.
-
But, I can't.
-
Because then people will think I'm getting paid by a certain company, but I'm not.
-
And I'll prove it.
-
Instead of wasting your money on quality audio books made by professionals,
-
you guys should all check out Librivox.org,
-
where you can listen to FREE, public domain audio books,
-
which means there's only old-timey classical books on it,
-
like Aesop's fables, which in my opinion is all you need!
-
Anyway, TJ and I did the Battle of the Books and for one of the rounds TJ was sick,
-
so I had to answer the questions all by myself and I never forgave him for that.
-
And also, the whole time I was keeping track of everyone's points,
-
And me and TJ got the most questions right.
-
My math skills are finally being useful.
-
I was already craving the pizza.
-
After the last round, the teacher said:
-
"Okay I'll tally up all the points and let you all know who the winner is in a couple of weeks!"
-
But, since I was keeping track of everyone's score,
-
I already knew we won. I turned to TJ and I said:
-
"TJ, guess what?"
-
"We already-" OH. This was the round where you were sick.
-
How did I not notice that until just now?
-
But then, a couple of weeks go by and I'm not hearing any news about a pizza party.
-
I was expecting to walk in the class one day,
-
and there would just be a pile of pizza boxes waiting for me.
-
But, that never happened.
-
The teacher in charge of the competition was the librarian.
-
So one day, I went up to her and I asked:
-
"Soo, uh, did you ever say who won the Battle of the Books?"
-
Uhh, also my favourite pizza is barbeque chicken!
-
And she said:
-
"Oh, these two fifth graders won."
-
So, the Battle of the Books was for both fifth and sixth graders.
-
I was a sixth grader, so I went to all the sixth grader battles.
-
But, apparently…
-
there was some low-life, fifth grader who got every single question right
-
and stole my PIZZA PARTY! >:(
-
And that taught me a valuable lesson:
-
Even when you work hard you don't always get what you want in life. But that's okay.
-
Because one day,
-
*INHALE*
-
You'll be an adult, you can buy all the pizzas you want,
-
without having to read first!
-
*NOM*
-
*clears throat*
-
[Madz pretending to be James]: Hello there, any of you down for a game of soccer-
-
I- I mean, football? This is a hundred percent James!
-
This isn't someone else doing the endcard, this is me.
-
This is James! *chuckles*
-
I would never ask someone else to make an endcard for me 'cause I was too lazy!
-
Heheheh!
-
You guys should check out my channel, G- Get- GetMadz?
-
GetMadz? Am I pronouncing that right?
-
He helps me edit my videos for my second channel.
-
That's right, I have a second channel,
-
with a total of... s- six videos!
-
Count 'em 6! 6 videos!
-
And also, as per usual...
-
I need to thank my colourers who made this video look absolutely amazing. Thanks guys!
-
I appreciate it.
-
Everyone go watch these guys' videos
-
for a solid 4000 hours, including Madz...
-
Ma- Madz!
-
a- and as always... (What does James say for his outros again?)
-
Strap up if you're going on a bumpy ride!™
-
Wait, tha- that's not it at all...
-
Buckle up!
-
Wait, no, that's way too American
-
E- Oh yeah!
-
Wear your seatbelt!