B1 Intermediate US 76 Folder Collection
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Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria…
Equestria didn't exist.
What did exist were three warring tribes,
divided by racism.

They were also very, very cold.
The coldness followed the tribes everywhere
they went and only made them angrier at each other.

The pegasi could fly and control some of the
weather, but they couldn't grow food in

their clouds.
They were hungry all the time.
The earth ponies could grow a butt ton of
food, but could do little against the weather.

They were cold all the time.
The unicorns couldn't fly and were also
hungry, but they had magic, so they were the

superior race.
They were superior all the time.
It's soon discovered that the cold weather
is caused by Windigos feeding on their hate

for one another.
The three tribes are forced to unite and 'friendship
really hard' until the Windigos are banished.

Once the cold weather was gone, the tribes
realized they could use their abilities to

help one another.
The unicorns then built their new capital
of Equestria: Canterlot.

It is here that they appoint their new rulers,
who are alicorns.

Alicorns are like unicorns but better because
they can fly.

Alicorns are very important, but among these
few alicorns are two sisters, Celestia and

Luna, who are the most most important.
These two do all the sorts of things you'd
expect from two children of an elite race

such as writing journals, exploring the forest,
and building another castle in the middle

of nowhere; because why not.
Somewhere around this time The Crystal Empire
is formed.

It has something to do with a unicorn named
Amore getting her cutie mark, but no one actually

reads the comic books so we can't be sure.
The elite of Canterlot care not for the happenings
of a foreign race and go about their daily lives.

Celestia and Luna grow up.
They have the duty of controlling the sun
and moon.

This duty is bestowed upon them by a wizard
named Star Swirl the Bearded.

Star Swirl is known for his magical abilities.
And for being bearded.
Around this time in the north, a protective
relic known as The Crystal Heart is stolen

by a dragon.
This causes The Crystal Empire to get really
cold and its citizens are not happy about this.

“We are not happy about this.”
They said.
Thankfully, Princess Amore is powerful enough
to replace the heart.

She does so just long enough for Celestia
and Luna to fly north and rescue it.

“Why would you want live in such an inhospitable
place?”

Celestia asked Amore.
“I dunno.” said Amore.
With the Crystal Heart back, the magical energy
is once again generated by the spirits of

the Crystal Empire's citizens.
Their spirits are kept high by weaving baskets,
playing weird instruments, and murdering each

other in jousting tournaments.
Suddenly, a god of chaos rips a hole in the
fabric of reality and unleashes chaos all over

Equestria for a bunch of years.
Some believe this is a period of time where the previous generations of My Little Pony exist.
What other than the mind of a god of chaos
could produce the likes of sea ponies and

Newborn Cuties?
Celestia and Luna find a magical tree in the
forest they used to play in, on which they

find what we now know of as The Elements of
Harmony.

They use The Elements of Harmony to turn the
chaos god known as Discord into stone.

Discord is used as a decorative stature in
Canterlot for pigeons to poop on for thousands

of years.
Celestia hides the Elements away in the 'other'
castle for future use.

“What art thou to do with those, dear sister?”
Luna asked.
“I dunno.”
replied Celestia.
Meanwhile, two weird looking brothers visit
Equestria with the intent of robbing it of

its pony magic.
Their names: Scorpan and Lord Tirek.
Scorpan decides that he actually likes ponies,
and rather than take over Equestria he betrays

Tirek and helps Celestia.
Scorpan feels bad for his non-brony brother,
and gives him a gold medallion as a sign of

his brotherly love.
Then Celestia banishes Tirek to Tartarus which
is basically pony-hell.

Tirek is unhappy about being sent to pony-hell
and swears revenge.

“K, have fun with that.”
Said Celestia.
Before anypony in a position of leadership
can catch their breaths, another villain tries

to take over.
This time, it's King Sombra, in the Crystal
Empire!

Celestia and Luna fly north and defeat him,
but in doing so they activate his trap card

causing a super evil curse to activate.
This super evil curse causes the Crystal Empire
to disappear, along with the writer's care

for coherent storytelling.
After defeating yet another villain with minimal
casualties, Celestia and Luna fly back to

Canterlot.
Luna is tired of being a princess that only
comes out at night, and with the help of some

super evil magic she transforms into a villain
that only comes out at night.

She calls herself: Nightmare Moon.
Oh yeah did I mention that she controls the
moon and can enter ponies' dreams?

Yeah that's probably where the name's
from.

Thankfully, Celestia had been saving the Elements
of Harmony for a rainy day like this, and

with much regret, and much love for irony,
she banishes her banana-loving sister to the moon.

After losing the Crystal Empire and her sister,
Celestia decides that she shouldn't be the

only pony capable of keeping order in Equestria.
Celestia forms a royal guard, known as the
E.U.P., to watch over Equestria.

This royal guard proves to be a pointless
endeavour because almost a thousand years

pass without any notable disasters.
Equestria is growing as fast as the average
brony's doll collection, with various pun-tastic

cities sprouting up everywhere.
Ponyville is founded not far from Canterlot,
thanks to the presence of magical Zap Apples

which drive tourism and trade.
Many moons later, the eventual Mane Six are
born and raised.

Applejack and Rarity in Ponyville, Rainbow
Dash and Fluttershy in Cloudsdale, Twilight

Sparkle in Canterlot, and Pinkie Pie on a
rock farm… somewhere.

Shortly before leaving school and moving to
Ponyville, Rainbow Dash participates in a

race that forever changes the course of Equestrian
history.

In a magical blast of energy, Rainbow Dash's
speed and raw awesomeness forms a sonic rainboom.

This causes a chain reaction of events affecting
each of the future Mane Six.

But before that can happen, a time-traveling
unicorn named Starlight Glimmer rips a hole

in the fabric of time, causing numerous alternate
universes including but not limited to:

Sombra's Reign, Literally Fallout, and Capitalism.
For the sake of simplicity, we'll stick
with the most popular timeline.

The one in which the fewest ponies die.
Twilight Sparkle is startled by the rainboom
during an entry exam, which causes a magical

surge of energy to get Princess-senpai to
notice her.

It also transforms Twilight's parents into
plants and probably kills some ponies just outside.

It's okay though, because Celestia takes
Twilight Sparkle in as her protégé and later

sends her to Ponyville in search of friends.
Because Twilight's friends in Canterlot
simply weren't good enough for the princess.

Little did Twilight know, Celestia is frequented
by visions of the future and had a plan.

Unlike the writers.
The Mane Six happen to meet in Ponyville,
just in time for the Summer Sun Celebration.

This is an annual event to celebrate Celestia's
victory over Nightmare Moon.

Suddenly, Nightmare Moon returns from the
moon and kidnaps Celestia.

Equestria is plunged into darkness.
Solar energy companies everywhere go bankrupt.
Meanwhile, The newly-formed Mane Six join
together to fulfill an ancient prophecy to

save Celestia and all of Equestria.
Or at least, the important parts of Equestria.
Everypony forgot about the Crystal Empire
already.

It is during this adventure that they discover
the Elements of Harmony stored away in the

'other' castle, which is now in the middle
of a super evil magical forest known as Everfree.

Then, Nightmare Moon destroys the Elements.
“Ha!
The elements are destroyed!” said Nightmare
Moon.

“Ha!
We're actually the elements!” said Twilight.
The Mane Six then 'friendship really hard'
and defeat Nightmare Moon.

Rather than banishment to the moon or pony-hell,
the Mane Six simply strip Nightmare Moon of

her super evil magic and she transforms back
into Luna.

Oh and Celestia also appears out of nowhere
and the day is saved by plot convenience.

You may now proceed to view the entire My
Little Pony: Friendship is Magic cartoon.

Pretty much everything picks up from there.
"...And that's how Equestria was made!"
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history of equestria (Pony Parody)

76 Folder Collection
陳治嘉 published on January 3, 2018
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