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[The 9 Types of Coffee Drinker]
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Don't talk to me before I've had a sip of coffee. [The "Morning" Person]
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The last person who talked to me before I had coffee...
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(beep) Don't touch me before coffee.
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Went missing.
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Some people are scared of me, but, whatever.
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A drink should be refreshing, it should be like "Ooh, cool refreshing drink!", not "Ow! my mouth's on fire!" [The Iced Coffee Loyalist]
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When it's hot I can walk around with my iced coffee and no one will judge me, and when it's cold, people are like what are you doing.
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I love it.
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So I drink my coffee black. No, no sugar, no milk, no frill. [The Black Coffee Drinker]
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I just go to work. Just very plain.
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Zero games on my phone. You know what I do? I read news.
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That's it.
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I know everything about coffee.
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I am like the coffee connoisseur, sommelier, so. Coffee's not easy, it's not simple! [The Coffee Snob]
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I've been studying the art of coffee for... 17 years now.
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So we require all of our suppliers to pick the beans by feet.
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It just tastes... you'll notice it once you develop the coffee palate.
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Typically roasting just, in my experience, destroys the flavor of the bean, so we toast here, yeah.
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Hi, may I please have an iced grande iced coffee, no classic, with a little bit of half and half? [The Coffee Addict]
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I mean yeah, people say I'm a coffee addict, but I read the New York Times, they say it's fine, like no one's proven anything wrong with coffee, I don't think anything's wrong with coffee.
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Hi again, iced grande iced coffee, no classic, with a little bit of skim milk.
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For that, five sounds about normal a day. I mean this is... I'm up to three, so I think I could go up, you know, five is a good stopping point.
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Barista, regular?
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Yeah, I'll probably cut off around five.
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I'm more of a slow, easygoing person, and I'm just not trying to be off the top all the time. [The Decaf Drinker]
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I mean yeah, a lot of older people drink decaffeinated coffee, but I mean, I guess I'm kinda like an old soul myself.
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I don't need help staying awake. Like, I enjoy resting.
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I mean, isn't that normal?
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I never miss a night's sleep. Not with this.
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I love coffee, but I don't want to over-pollute my body. [The Health Nut]
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Hi, I want an almond milk latte. How many calories is in that one?
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For me it's really important that the milk is organic.
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Almond milk, soy milk, hemp milk.
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I'm in the process of trying to cleanse my body right now, so I don't want to pollute it with other unhealthy sugars.
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Hi, can I have a large French vanilla coffee with lots of skim milk and three sugars?
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So I like the idea of coffee, but I need to have a lot of milk in it, and a lot of sugar, because I don't love the taste of it.
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Actually, can it just be more of like a milkshake? Just a little bit of coffee in it, like a drop?
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It is not enough milk. Let's pour out half of that.
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I loved coffee, but no more.
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Because, I've been getting a lot of headaches and stuff. [That Guy Who's "Trying" to Quit]
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I'm trying to quit coffee. It's been surprisingly hard.
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If I was drinking coffee still, which I'm not, tea.
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I really like light roasts actually because—you don't know this, and it's kinda counter-intuitive—but light roasts tend to have more caffeine in them, so you'd be getting more bang for your buck.
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Me? No, I, I don't miss coffee.
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If anything, coffee misses me.
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What are you drinking?
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Oh, um, it's tea.
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You're drinking tea? What are you even doing here? It's a coffee shop.
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Get out of here!