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  • Technology.

  • Love.

  • Marriage.

  • Side chicks.

  • Skinny people.

  • Fat people.

  • Scientists.

  • Who... who pretend they're doing stuff for the camera.

  • The world is ready for the next really expensive product.

  • Hi, my name is Steve Trabajo, founder and CEO of Pineapple.

  • Pineapple is like Apple,

  • It's just a, it's a little crappier, or it's a lot, it's a lot crappier you know, thank you very much.

  • It's a lot crappier, you know? It's

  • Ooh.

  • We're very excited to announce our new product that you definitely don't need,

  • But we're gonna push it anyway,

  • Because we like money.

  • Introducing, for the first time ever,

  • The Pineapple iPhone X.

  • It's amazing ... it's... it's ... I'm about to blow your mind of how crazy

  • ... great ... it's gonna ... everybody's gonna have good time.

  • Let's talk about the new features. Thank you very much.

  • Last one, huh?

  • Ah ahh

  • Let's...

  • [burp]

  • Let's talk about the new features. Pineapple wireless headphones. Our scientists are working extremely hard

  • Using state-of-the-art technology to develop wireless headphones.

  • They're like the Apple wireless headphones,

  • But, they don't really they don't really work.

  • Maria.

  • Apple has Siri. Pineapple has Maria. Maria is like Siri, or she, except

  • She's a little, she's a little crappier. She's got a little bit more attitude. Whatever you need, Maria will do it.

  • If she's in the mood.

  • Hey, Maria.

  • What do you want, Steve?

  • Can you give me directions to the nearest Starbucks?

  • Just look it up on Google.

  • Are you kidding, like, are you kidding me right now? What do I look like to you?

  • Relax, calm, calm down, calm down, I'm just asking. I'm asking, can you please help me out?

  • No way, Jose, you can Google it.

  • Yo, what's with the attitude, bro?

  • I don't have attitude... already had coffee today, okay?

  • That's not true, that's not, that's not at all true, you're making stuff up, oh shut up!

  • Racist Pineapple music.

  • Are you ever scrolling through your library...

  • like, trying to find that perfect song?

  • Your problems are over.

  • Introducing our new music detection feature,

  • Where, as soon as you put the headphones in, it automatically plays the song that's perfect for you based on how you look.

  • [urban music]

  • [pop music]

  • [Latin music]

  • Some people call it racist. We call it the future. El futuro.

  • Waterproof case.

  • We've developed insanely advanced technology to make sure that if you have an accident with liquid and your phone,

  • Your phone is safe.

  • Baby.

  • If you purchase the Pineapple iPhone X right now, we will throw in an external battery for free.

  • Blood-lock.

  • Our newest feature makes it very hard for somebody to unlock your phone.

  • With Blood-lock, you can only unlock your phone using your own blood. All you need is something

  • Just very sharp, like a knife, like this, and then you just, you know, you cut your...

  • Okay, then you take your phone, and you, just...

  • And it unlocks.

  • I want a safe... I have a vision of making the world a safer place.

  • I hope you rush to stores immediately to buy the new Pineapple iPhone X, because it is

  • Definitely a rip-off.

  • Pineapple.

  • Think a little crappier.

  • But it's er, it's cheaper than Apple, but it is definitely a little crappier. I'm not gonna lie.

Technology.

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B2 US pineapple maria iphone apple wireless siri

iPhone X by Pineapple | Rudy Mancuso

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    董得恩 posted on 2017/12/26
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