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Earlier this week I was forced to share a cab
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to the Apollo Theater
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with our associate producer, Jordan Schlansky.
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(audience cheers)
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If you're at all familiar with Jordan,
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you know how painful an experience that was for me.
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Thankfully, I had my phone and one of our sponsors,
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Google Play, to help me endure this session.
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Take a look.
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Apollo Theater, please.
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Broadway was originally named by the Dutch
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in a colony of New Amsterdam.
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New Amsterdam.
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(Speaks in foreign language), or away,
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was a naturally created path,
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usually from heavy foot traffic or perhaps animals.
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Why are we riding together?
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How did this?
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We're both going in the same direction.
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Shouldn't we, I know.
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Why wouldn't we ride together.
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Well, do you really want me to answer that question?
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We wouldn't ride together
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because you're such an irritating person.
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(audience laughs)
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Do you mind if I open Google Play?
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Do something other than listen to you.
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I might play Angry Birds Match.
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Right.
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The Broadway that was present in New Amsterdam
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only went as high as (speaks in foreign language).
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Which is typically called Wall Street and, in fact,
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the reason it was called (speaks in foreign language).
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Ah, come on!
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Is because-- It's my fault.
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A wooden wall was present there
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to keep out anyone north of that point.
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I'm playing Angry Birds Match, I'm not looking at you,
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I'm totally engaged in this game,
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that's a signal to most people to maybe stop talking.
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Steam is a utility supplied by Con Edison.
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New York City has one of the highest quality
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tap waters in the world.
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The maximum theoretical temperature
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of 212 degrees fahrenheit.
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The American version of Focaccia
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is a very dense, spongy bread.
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Duran Duran had a quote in their song, Steam in the Subway,
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which is technically incorrect.
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I consider the soundtrack to Footloose
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to be a bit overrated, I like the deep cuts.
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How many friends do you have, I mean real friends?
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Not concerned with friends.
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That means no friends.
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Jordan, it appears we are at the Apollo Theater.
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Yes.
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And I hope I never see you again.
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Now the marquee above us was originally, of course,
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an analog marquee, and--
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Got one.
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Now of course it's electronic, but can also--
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Can you stay here? You stay here.
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Bye.
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(audience cheers)
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He's a real guy!