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  • Earlier this week I was forced to share a cab

  • to the Apollo Theater

  • with our associate producer, Jordan Schlansky.

  • (audience cheers)

  • If you're at all familiar with Jordan,

  • you know how painful an experience that was for me.

  • Thankfully, I had my phone and one of our sponsors,

  • Google Play, to help me endure this session.

  • Take a look.

  • Apollo Theater, please.

  • Broadway was originally named by the Dutch

  • in a colony of New Amsterdam.

  • New Amsterdam.

  • (Speaks in foreign language), or away,

  • was a naturally created path,

  • usually from heavy foot traffic or perhaps animals.

  • Why are we riding together?

  • How did this?

  • We're both going in the same direction.

  • Shouldn't we, I know.

  • Why wouldn't we ride together.

  • Well, do you really want me to answer that question?

  • We wouldn't ride together

  • because you're such an irritating person.

  • (audience laughs)

  • Do you mind if I open Google Play?

  • Do something other than listen to you.

  • I might play Angry Birds Match.

  • Right.

  • The Broadway that was present in New Amsterdam

  • only went as high as (speaks in foreign language).

  • Which is typically called Wall Street and, in fact,

  • the reason it was called (speaks in foreign language).

  • Ah, come on!

  • Is because-- It's my fault.

  • A wooden wall was present there

  • to keep out anyone north of that point.

  • I'm playing Angry Birds Match, I'm not looking at you,

  • I'm totally engaged in this game,

  • that's a signal to most people to maybe stop talking.

  • Steam is a utility supplied by Con Edison.

  • New York City has one of the highest quality

  • tap waters in the world.

  • The maximum theoretical temperature

  • of 212 degrees fahrenheit.

  • The American version of Focaccia

  • is a very dense, spongy bread.

  • Duran Duran had a quote in their song, Steam in the Subway,

  • which is technically incorrect.

  • I consider the soundtrack to Footloose

  • to be a bit overrated, I like the deep cuts.

  • How many friends do you have, I mean real friends?

  • Not concerned with friends.

  • That means no friends.

  • Jordan, it appears we are at the Apollo Theater.

  • Yes.

  • And I hope I never see you again.

  • Now the marquee above us was originally, of course,

  • an analog marquee, and--

  • Got one.

  • Now of course it's electronic, but can also--

  • Can you stay here? You stay here.

  • Bye.

  • (audience cheers)

  • He's a real guy!

Earlier this week I was forced to share a cab

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Conan & Jordan Commute To The Apollo - CONAN on TBS

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    billy8077 posted on 2017/12/21
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